Dietary Supplement
by Dragon Courage
Summary: Where there is Hide, there is hope. And this weird idea that Kaneki is not a monster, just a kid who needs to go on a smoothie diet and watch more Full Metal Alchemist. And Kaneki hopes this might actually work. Based on Research and Smoothies by Timeless tears with permission. Canon typical warnings
1. Prologue

Cool, burning. The air in his lungs burns like an arctic blaze. Yet when said lungs deflate, the ache in his ribs pushes him to inhale again.

It feels like this goes on an eternity, frigid burn and sharp sears coming in turns, before he can sense anything beyond it. The first thing to catch his attention is the heavy feeling in all of his limbs. It's kin to sleeping under a mountain of clouds. Heavy, but not crushing.

But there is something important. Something he has to push the mountain away for. It seems like an eternity before the muscles controlling his eyelids have the strength to contract; granting him a blurred panorama. Grey shapes and white blurs swim laps around him.

Blinking doesn't help but soon he is aware of another sense more willing to reveal his surroundings. From beside his head, the telltale annoyance of a heart monitor whirred and beeped in soothing pattern.

Somehow, despite the pain and dizziness, he recognizes what the pattern stands for. He's safe. Rize can't get him here. It's this thought that sends Kaneki slipping into the darkness waiting patiently on the edge of his vision...

* * *

Strong vitals, good brain activity. Marvelous. Akihiro Kanou could not have chosen a better candidate if he had the chance.

No living relatives, so no chance for unwanted exposure too early into the process of legitimization. Not overwhelmingly fit, but not obese or frail, either. The results would be fairly easy to measure with such an average physique. A perfect variable.

And so far, a success. Although there had been some resistance from the subject's immune system upon initial introduction, medication had quickly suppressed any defense. Even now, the ghoul organs were adapting to a new host, becoming more deeply ensconced within the form of Ken Kaneki. His RC cells were already rising from their previously low count.

Upon glancing up again for more vital information to scribble onto his clipboard, Dr. Kanou froze as he glanced and the subject. While there was virtually no change- the subject was much too weak after such an invasive surgery- there was an important difference that had Kanou's lips curling up. Kaneki's eyes were open. One gray. One red.

Kanou held the smile in place as he continued writing on his clipboard when the eyes closed. A perfect candidate indeed.

* * *

AN: I'm sorry! I know my first priority should be Timbermanes and Hagar's Bane, but I just couldn't help myself! The idea of giving the TG universe a happy ending has been swirling around my head ever since I first watched the first season of the anime a few years ago. However, for the main inspiration look to Timeless Tears. They are the amazing author of Research And Smoothies. It's a wonderful half-crack two shot with the same alternate principle at the beginning as this is going to be based off of. Pleas check that story out and leave a review. It really is worth your time.

I am one of those people who both loves and hates sad endings. I love the personal struggle in character that is usually seen in them, but I hate that it is eventually all for naught. And the moral/ emotion struggle seen in TG fascinates me. I love the majority of the characters. A lot of them have good reasons for doing the wrong things and some have bad reasons for doing the right things. This leads to a very diverse and interesting cast. And they always keep suffering heart ache. As a reader/ watcher, I have the good- or bad- habit of becoming really attached to the characters in shows, especially if they have a lot of moral/emotional depth or development. And Kaneki is a cinnamon roll. He's so sweet at his base character. So instead of continuing to read/watch TG and keep getting my heart broken when he gets his heart broken again and again, I have decided to write my own happy ending for him.

Do not read this paragraph and think there will be no hardship for Kaneki in this story. I understand that adversity aids growth of character. However, I see no point in taking the sweetest character in the whole series and breaking him again and again in new horrific ways. People should not torture cinnamon rolls with no healing afterward. It's cruel.

Also, its been a while since I wrote, so I apologize for errors, contradictions, and other issues that may pop up in this prologue. To improve this, please leave a review giving a detailed explanation of said error and I will do my best to adjust my writing accordingly.

I think I've said everything I was planning on saying, so DC out!


	2. Ch1

Kaneki stared in the mirror. He couldn't understand how he could look this way. So normal. Like he wasn't skipping meals. Like he could actually taste and eat again.

Kaneki was starving, he knew he should be starving. But, he wasn't even very hungry. And food tasted like crap. Literally in some cases.

Yet, his body didn't reflect it. His cheeks were soft and round, that baby fat he hadn't been able to shake in puberty still hanging on. His eyes were bright and clear, though distressed. His lips were un-chapped and lightly pink. He was healthy. Starving, yet healthy.

How could this be?

The television hummed still in the other room. He had turned it on this morning while getting ready- in a house alone, background noise staved off a lot of loneliness or the occasional bout of depression.

Frowning, Kaneki went to turn it off. If he wasn't listening to it there was no point in letting it run the power bill up. However, when Kaneki saw the contents of the program, he stopped.

A month ago, he would never give much credence to this kind of show. It would have been far from him, some other place or person. But after the incident with Rize, ghouls weren't a myth of some other district. They weren't the boogie man that only came out for naughty boys and girls who refused to eat their greens. They were real. And they were close.

So he watched, with a morbid curiosity and a small bit of learned self-preservation. Knowledge was power, right?

He came to regret this decision a few hours later at the expense of his previously meticulous apartment. There were food packets on the floor and on every flat surface, milk and other liquids were spilled haphazardly around, and the bathroom would need to be mopped where he hadn't been able to make it to the toilet after he tried eating the ice-cream. So far, he had yet to find anything he could actually eat. Even foods he had absolutely loved before, now made his stomach churn just thinking about them.

He was standing in the hallway observing all the mess, when a noise broke him from his horrified reverie. It was his cell phone, forgotten on the living room table during his temporary insanity. Taking a few steps closer, Kaneki could see the caller id was Hide. He picked up the phone and his thumb hovered over the touch screen. He swiped right, ignoring the call.

Hide couldn't see him like this. He couldn't be allow to know. If Kaneki somehow got Hide involved it wouldn't do Hide any good. And if Kaneki was consistently more of a burden than a boon, Hide would leave him and be friends with someone else. Someone with more to give back in return for company. It had happened with others before.

And Kaneki couldn't lose Hide. Hide was like the sun, bright and full of life. Fierce and brave, Hide was the exact opposite of Kaneki, who was quiet and shy like the moon. Hide was also exactly what Kaneki needed in his life. To balance out the empty feeling in his chest that took over after Mom died.

Hide was the best brother/friend Kaneki could ask for. And Kaneki knew that Hide could just as easily be lost.

Kaneki couldn't scare him with this. Couldn't depend on him to chase this boogie man away with his shining smile and sunny attitude. This monster didn't live in the closet, it lived inside of him.

Even now, Kaneki could feel a dull pang of hunger, and if his theory was right, then Hide coming over was the exact opposite of a good thing.

So, for the rest of the day, Kaneki turned off his phone. It's not like anyone else would call him and if he answered the phone to Hide, Hide would be able to tell something was wrong before Kaneki could say, "ithinkimaghoul." Hide was uncanny like that.

So, Kaneki sat silently, his silent phone beside him on the soft carpet, a sharp knife laid innocently in front of him. He had a choice to make.

* * *

Hide scowled down at his phone as the call went to voicemail for the nth time. Kaneki must have turned his phone off. Typical little brother. Trying to hide something. Well, not for long!

That's right.. Kaneki was Hide's little brother. Kaneki was a brother that Hide's parents were unaware of, but he was.

See, this all started when Hide was little. Hide lived in a large family as the youngest child. Hide had seven older brothers, the younger his senior by four years. Hide was the recipient of mush teasing, noogies, and hugs growing up. He was even perhaps a little spoiled, he supposed. As he grew up, he noticed that just as much as he loved to be the baby of the family, his older brothers seemed to have just as much fun caring for him. So much that on thanksgiving, when they listed what they were most thankful for that whole year, each of them answered with, "my little brother(s)".

Well, that decided it. When Hide was the wise age of almost five, he knew what he wanted for his birthday. A little brother. Hide wanted in on some of that older brother action.

When he told his mother that, she laughed and asked, "You don't want to keep being the baby?"

He repeated his wish and she laughed some more, before returning to kneading the bread she was baking. However, it soon became apparent that he was at least semi-serious when he continued repeating the same request over and over again. His parents laughed and smiled indulgently while his older brothers tickled him in response.

On his birthday, he got a dog. She was eight weeks old, golden retriever and already house broken with the gentlest, most playful attitude.

Hide hated her. He scowled all day on his birthday, no matter how much his parents or brothers tried to cajole him into being a 'good boy'. There were toys, a collar, and a nice doggie bed that came with her. He wouldn't touch them. His parents took excited pictures of him and his new puppy, but at the end of the day, Hide turned to his mother and asked, "Can i trade the dog for a little brother?"

His mother's smile strains- poor woman of forty-seven years wants no more babies- and she laughs like he's said something funny.

Except, it's not funny when he asks the same thing at Easter. At Valentine's day. At thanksgiving, he says he would be more 'thankfuller' for a new baby brother. And he asks again at Christmas.

So, naturally, when Hide finds a little dark haired waif crying on the playground that says his Mommy is dead, he thinks that God has answered his prayers.

And they had been inseparable ever since, Hide had made sure of it. He pitched a fit until his parents enrolled him in Kaneki's class and the rest is history.

And Kaneki was an adorable little brother. Always shy with his head stuck in a book. It was really fun, getting him to branch out and try new things. Like- although this is not a very good example- that date a few weeks ago. It really didn't end well- hearing Kaneki was in the hospital had sent Hide into an absolute panic of 5 year old-didnt-want-a-puppy proportions- but it was Kaneki's first date!

Kaneki was obviously growing and flourishing under his older brother's tutelage. Hide could preen with pride, except, now it was two steps forward, one step back. Because Kaneki was trying to hide something from him.

Honestly, hadn't Kaneki learned not to hide things from Big Brother the last time? Hide will find out.

The light in front of Hide turned green, indicating it was time to walk and he strode forward with confident strong paces.

It only took a few more minutes to make it to Kaneki's apartment complex. Hide decided to give Kaneki the shadow of a doubt and knocked on the door. The guy's phone may just be dead.

When there is no answer, Hide pulls out his spare key. He'd argued his way into one after Kaneki had caught mono and been too sick to walk to the hospital or answer the door. If Hide hadn't called one of his bros to pick the lock, Kaneki may not have been able to get to the hospital in time.

As he opened the door, he is surprised to see Kaneki with his back turned to him, arms wrapped around his thin torso in a self defensive gesture. When Kaneki turns around, his eyes are red rimmed and tears are still fresh on his cheeks. Kaneki never cries. Ever. When they met being one of the few exceptions.

"Ok, Kaneki, what's wrong?"

* * *

It was done, the decision was made. Kaneki couldn't- shouldn't- live as a ghoul. Even if he didn't end up consuming human flesh, it would leave him starving. He would be manic, wild with hunger- there would be no controlling him. He could- would- hurt people. He might even hurt Hide.

There wasn't anything else for it. There wasn't anyone he could go to for help, Kaneki had never heard of this happening before so there would be no quick fix for this situation, and he dared not go back to the hospital. If they did this, then they could do worse, surely.

So, he had to die. For the sake of himself and those around him. He repeated this to himself as he raised the blade up above his head. It was a good blade, a sharp, broad butcher's knife. His favorite, he sharpened it this morning. It would do the job well.

Gathering all of his courage, Kaneki plunged the blade toward his vulnerable belly, soft skin defenseless. His eyes were closed, but they flew open at the resounding screech. There was no pain as he lifted the knife to his face and stared. The innocent kitchen knife would never again serve its purpose; the impact with his skin had warped it irrevocably into a spiral pattern.

He would have stared at the blade in awe- and mounting terror- had he not been interrupted but the firm knocking on the door.

Hide. It could be no other. Kaneki didn't have other people who would be willing to check up on him.

Kaneki's eyes flashed to the knife in his hand. He had to hide it. Hide would not be pleased with Kaneki's attempt at self harm. The one time and only time Kaneki had tried self harm, Hide had been furious. Upon seeing the row of neat pink scars running up Kaneki's arm, Hide had promptly kidnapped him in a never ending spend the night.

For weeks, Hide was constantly by Kaneki's side. He made Kaneki realize that even if he didn't put very much stock in his own life, there were plenty of people that put stock in it for him. Even if he didn't want to live for himself, on those days where he found himself bereft of the will to get out of bed, he had to live for others. To leave the with an angry, painful hole in their hearts would be cruel and wrong. It was better to live for them to be able to fill that hole. To fill it with joy, love, and peace. Even if Kaneki could offer people nothing else, he could give them that.

And here Kaneki had tried to rip that hole into their souls deliberately. Guilt washed over him even as he rushed to slide the ruined knife under the couch cushions. There had been a good reason, but it wouldn't be good enough in the wrath of Hide. But, what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

He turned around as the door opened, arms wrapped around himself in a self hug. He knew his eyes were still puffy and red from his spilled tears as he lifted them to meet Hide's.

"Okay, Kaneki, what's wrong?"

Kaneki opened his mouth- after forcing his suddenly paper dry mouth to swallow- and answered, "I think I'm a ghoul."

Hide stared at Kaneki before walking into the apartment and shutting the door. "Umm, buddy, you know you don't just wake up a ghoul, right?"

Hide started picking up some of the trash, Kaneki was bound to be horrified by the state of his house when he calmed down.

"Yes, I mean, no, I- Rize was a ghoul."

Hide jerked his head around so fast, he swore he had whiplash.

"What?!"

Kaneki nodded shakily. His red rimmed eyes seemed even more frantic now. "She was a ghoul, and they used her organs in the operation, andnowI'monetoo! AndHide,whatdoIdo?!"

Kaneki's knuckles were white against his long-sleeve shirt where he gripped his arms in manic intensity. He could feel the breath racing in his lungs, a quick whish-whoosh that left him chilled and dizzy. If it had been a normal day, he would already be secluding himself in a quiet corner with a distracting book to wait out the anxiety, but this was important and he was so scared. So very terrified. Cause he was dangerous now and the last person alive to care for him was in the same room as him. Unarmed.

Hide's eyes widened as he darted forward to pull Kaneki to the couch. "Whoah! Hey, slow down. You're okay. It's over. Come on! It's not that bad, just slow down and let's figure this out, okay?"

Hide pasted on a reassuring smile, watching as Kaneki's eyes lost their hollow, dead look and his breathing slowed. Little brother panic averted.

Kaneki sniffed, holding back tears as he thought about everything. "It started after the surgery. I was doing fine and they put me back on food. But, I couldn't eat any of it. It tasted foul. The nurses said it could be a temporary side effect of stress, cause sometimes that makes people's taste change for a little while. But even when I got released, I couldn't eat anything. I ignored it because I wasn't hungry anyways. But, when we went to Big Girl's, it changed. I felt hungry again, but I still couldn't eat the burger, Hide. And... And.. When I was walking home... The people smelled good."

Kaneki took a deep breath, steadying himself. "I- I'm a monster now Hide."


	3. Ch 2

It was done, the decision was made. Kaneki couldn't- shouldn't- live as a ghoul. Even if he didn't end up consuming human flesh, it would leave him starving. He would be manic, wild with hunger- there would be no controlling him. He could- would- hurt people. He might even hurt Hide.

There wasn't anything else for it. There wasn't anyone he could go to for help; Kaneki had never heard of this happening before so there would be no quick fix for this situation, and he dared not go back to the hospital. If they did this, then they could do worse, surely.

So, he had to die. For the sake of himself and those around him. He repeated this to himself as he raised the blade up above his head. It was a good blade, a sharp, broad butcher's knife. His favorite, he sharpened it this morning. It would do the job well.

Gathering all of his courage, Kaneki plunged the blade toward his vulnerable belly, soft skin defenseless. His eyes were closed, but they flew open at the resounding screech. There was no pain as he lifted the knife to his face and stared. The innocent kitchen knife would never again serve its purpose; the impact with his skin had warped it irrevocably into a spiral pattern.

He would have stared at the blade in awe- and mounting terror- had he not been interrupted but the firm knocking on the door.

Hide. It could be no other. Kaneki didn't have other people who would be willing to check up on him.

Kaneki's eyes flashed to the knife in his hand. He had to hide it. Hide would not be pleased with Kaneki's attempt at self harm. The one time and only time Kaneki had tried self harm, Hide had been furious. Upon seeing the row of neat pink scars running up Kaneki's arm, Hide had promptly kidnapped him in a never ending spend the night.

For weeks, Hide was constantly by Kaneki's side. He made Kaneki realize that even if he didn't put very much stock in his own life, there were plenty of people that put stock in it for him. Even if he didn't want to live for himself, on those days where he found himself bereft of the will to get out of bed, he had to live for others. To leave the with an angry, painful hole in their hearts would be cruel and wrong. It was better to live for them to be able to fill that hole. To fill it with joy, love, and peace. Even if Kaneki could offer people nothing else, he could give them that.

And here Kaneki had tried to rip that hole into their souls deliberately. Guilt washed over him even as he rushed to slide the ruined knife under the couch cushions. There had been a good reason, but it wouldn't be good enough in the wrath of Hide. But, what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

He turned around as the door opened, arms wrapped around himself in a self hug. He knew his eyes were still puffy and red from his spilled tears as he lifted them to meet Hide's.

"Okay, Kaneki, what's wrong?"

Kaneki opened his mouth- after forcing his suddenly paper dry mouth to swallow- and answered, "I think I'm a ghoul."

Hide stared at Kaneki before walking into the apartment and shutting the door. "Umm, buddy, you know you don't just wake up a ghoul, right?"

Hide started picking up some of the trash, Kaneki was bound to be horrified by the state of his house when he calmed down.

"Yes, I mean, no, I- Rize was a ghoul."

Hide jerked his head around so fast, he swore he had whiplash.

"What?!"

Kaneki nodded shakily. His red rimmed eyes seemed even more frantic now. "She was a ghoul, and they used her organs in the operation, andnowI'monetoo! AndHide,whatdoIdo?!"

Kaneki's knuckles were white against his long-sleeve shirt where he gripped his arms in manic intensity. He could feel the breath racing in his lungs, a quick whish-whoosh that left him chilled and dizzy. If it had been a normal day, he would already be secluding himself in a quiet corner with a distracting book to wait out the anxiety, but this was important and he was so scared. So very terrified. Cause he was dangerous now and the last person alive to care for him was in the same room as him. Unarmed.

Hide's eyes widened as he darted forward to pull Kaneki to the couch. "Whoah! Hey, slow down. You're okay. It's over. Come on! It's not that bad, just slow down and let's figure this out, okay?"

Hide pasted on a reassuring smile, watching as Kaneki's eyes lost their hollow, dead look and his breathing slowed. Little brother panic averted.

Kaneki sniffed, holding back tears as he thought about everything. "It started after the surgery. I was doing fine and they put me back on food. But, I couldn't eat any of it. It tasted foul. The nurses said it could be a temporary side effect of stress, cause sometimes that makes people's taste change for a little while. But even when I got released, I couldn't eat anything. I ignored it because I wasn't hungry anyways. But, when we went to Big Girl's, it changed. I felt hungry again, but I still couldn't eat the burger, Hide. And... And.. When I was walking home... The people smelled good."

Kaneki took a deep breath, steadying himself. "I- I'm a monster now Hide."

Ch2

Through his blurry eyes, Kaneki could see Hide sit stock still beside him. Then he started laughing, deep belly laughs that would have pulled a small, meek smile from Kaneki if it were any other day.

"Oh, ha, ha... That's great Kaneki! Really! Ha, ha! You? A monster? Yeah, right! You couldn't hurt a fly if you tried, buddy."

Hide reached out to Kaneki, to hug or comfort, but Kaneki jerked away as though burned, his eyes widening until the white was completely visible on all sides of the iris. "N-no!" He cried, pulling further away on the couch, his scrawny legs curling into his chest- yet another barrier between Hide and himself.

"I'll hurt you! Stay away!"

Hide sighs. Here we go again. "Com'on buddy. It's gonna be okay, you'll see."

Hide carefully scooted closer to Kaneki, letting him see him as he got closer, like cornering a frightened animal. Hide wrapped his arms around Kaneki's shaking, bony shoulders. , Hide wrapped his arms around his friend's back, resting his chin on Kaneki's shoulder.

"Oh, hush. You're gonna be fine. See? You're okay. I'm okay. Now we just have to work this out."

Kaneki let out a sob against Hide's shoulder as the dam broke. Like a flood, he let the stress and fear pour out. "I don't want to hurt anyone! But I can't eat anything and I'm getting hungry. I can't do this Hide! I can't, I can't! I don't want to hurt anyone! I can't!"

Hide waited patiently for the words to run out and the tears to dry. He ran his hand down Kaneki's back in smooth, repetitive strokes as Kaneki choked out the last few sobs. For a small eternity the two froze in silent comfort, like a safe haven to the storm. Slowly, Kaneki pulled away from Hide, wiping his blurry eyes on his soft sweater sleeve.

Kaneki lowered his eyes to stare into his lap, somehow he still found the energy to be numbly embarrassed, even after his day. "What do we do?"

The words sounded hollow, like the soul had been ripped right out of them, like guts from a turkey.

Across from him, Hide shifted on his knees to a more comfortable position. "Well," Hide said, "Now, we sleep, and in the spirit of good college students everywhere, we leave it to tomorrow by rite of procrastination."

Kaneki blinked and frowned. That reminded him. "Hide, you finished your Literacy Narrative, right?"

Hide grinned, content with the subject change as he hefted himself off the couch. "I had a surprise crisis, I'm sure Mrs. Schrock will understand. My best friend almost died."

Kaneki rolled his eyes, "And, I'm sure you'll understand when she gives you a drop or flop grade."

Kaneki pushed himself to his feet, as he started gathered the living room throws together. Hide would need a pallet to sleep on. He obviously wasn't heading home now. It was 11 O'clock at night. There was no way Kaneki was sending him out this late- especially not after Rize, not after Kaneki knew better.

"Let your mom know you're staying over," Kaneki told Hide as he began to carefully layer the blankets against the carpeted floor. Not that it would matter- Hide slept like a hurricane, kicking and rolling like a bull in his sleep. Now that the two were older, sleep-overs could not include double floor pallets- last time, Hide gave Kaneki a black eye in his sleep.

"'Kay," muttered Hide, already tapping away at his phone.

Soon, night time preparations were complete, pallet made and cot-futon pulled out beside it.

The moonlight peeked through the window, a shy visitor dancing on the faces of her hosts. She glowed softly, turning pale skin silver and tan skin white. Hide glanced over to see Kaneki almost asleep, the last tendrils of consciousness clinging to the lashes of his slowly lowering eye lids.

"Hey, Kaneki, are you awake?"

Hide couldn't help but grin a little as Kaneki turned the flattest, most sarcastic look full-throttle on Hide. Unfortunately, Hide was immune after being subjected to it more than a few times.

"Goodnight, Kaneki," Hide whispered before he turned his face into the other side of the pillow.

As Hide drifted away on night's gilded longboat, he thought he heard Kaneki's whispered response.

...

"Goodnight, Aniki."


	4. Ch 3

Ch 3

It was 72 degrees Fahrenheit, sunny and warming up gently for an early fall day. The breeze was slight, yet refreshing. The birds were singing, joggers were jogging, and the world was right.

The world was right, outside of the apartment with a human and a half-ghoul inhabiting it. While the half-ghoul was still sleeping, the human was wide awake and frowning. His world was not right. It was un-right. Very, very un-right.

In his hands, he clutched a knife. It was broad with serrated edges. Very sharp, very good knife. It was also bent in a way that rendered it entirely useless.

Hide knew this knife was Kaneki's favorite. He saw him using it to chop carrots not two weeks ago. The blade was strong and sturdy with a lifetime warranty backed by a famous brand name. It shouldn't be possible to ruin it, and in such a way! There wasn't anything in the apartment capable of using the kind of force needed to bend the steel. Not without incurring significant damage. And Hide had checked.

So, what had been strong enough to push the knife? Or force the tip back in on itself?

Hide knew of only one possible answer and it was sleeping in on the futon. But, his mind shied away from the prospect. Surely not again... Kaneki had been doing so good... No signs of serious depression in months.

Behind his seat at the kitchen table, Kaneki was beginning to stir- his toes were twitching and his breathing was becoming lass automated. Time to find out for sure.

As gray eyes fluttered open, Hide fingered the curved side of the blade once more before setting it down on the table. Time to wake up little brother. And hopefully put his fear to rest, one way or another.

* * *

Kaneki woke slowly, fading into the awareness of morning sun painting his eyelids a soft pink. The rays felt warm on his exposed cheek, almost like a mother's kiss, and Kaneki was sorely tempted to drift and doze off. He had this feeling he really didn't want to remember life today.

Which reminded him why he wanted to ignore life. Crap.

And that Hide was over and if he didn't get up soon would be trying to cook- and that would make life even worse. He really didn't feel like paying the landlord for a fire hazard fee at the moment.

Kaneki opens his eyes and sits up slowly, letting the stiffness in his limbs diffuse before looking around. Hide was at the kitchen table looking at his hands with a frown. This act alone had the hairs on the back of Kaneki's neck standing up. That was an angry big brother.

Kaneki was tempted to lay back down and pretend he was asleep. Hide didn't seem to have noticed him yet. However the logical part of his brain reminded him that no matter what time he woke up at, Kaneki would still incur Hide's wrath. Might as well get it over with. ... Yikes...

Kaneki pushed himself up, wincing at the lingering stiffness arcing though the soles of his feet. Hide, despite having surely heard Kaneki, didn't look up or greet him. As he walked closer, Kaneki could see why.

The knife lay innocently on the table in front of Hide, hiding the desperation and fear that it had once been wielded with. Kaneki silently cursed himself for forgetting about it. He'd meant to throw it out as soon as Hide was gone, no harm no foul. It looked a little to late for that now.

Hide slowly and intentionally lifted his eyes from his folded hands on the tabletop to meet Kaneki's stormy grays. Kaneki shivered as he felt death stare him down. Hide was a ball of sunshine every day of the week, but when he got mad- you knew the crap had hit the fan.

Kaneki slowly pulled out a chair, watching Hide carefully for any type of objection or aggression. As he sat down, Kaneki braved a smile at Hide. His attempt to lighten the mood failed miserably when Hide's eyebrows drew closer in a scowl as his frown deepened.

"G-good morning," Kaneki tried for a casual greeting.

"Good morning, Kaneki." Hide replied smoothly, no tone or inflection.

Silence reigned for a few seconds more before Hide used his words to pounce.

"What happened to your knife? My mom just gave it to you last Christmas."

Kaneki swallowed. He couldn't lie- he was awful at it and Hide would Know- but he couldn't tell the truth either.

"It bent.." Kaneki tried to resist. Maybe if he kept Hide from the truth long enough, Hide would get bored and give up?

"No, duh, Sherlock. How?"

"Uhhh," Kaneki paled. Maybe the truth was best? "I-I bent it."

Hide lifted a pale eyebrow. "You bent it? How?"

Kaneki winced, Hide's voice was hard, tempered steel. Kaneki hoped he didn't get cut open. "I- I," Kaneki tried to swallow, but his throat had swallowed the Sahara. "I- Sepuku."

Kaneki ducked his chin against his collarbone. He fought the urge to tremble. The hair on the crown of his head prickled, feeling the weight of Hide's eyes. For a moment, a precious moment, there was silence.

"Why?!" Hide's voice rang out loudly in the early morning quiet. He was angry, so angry.

"Why, again? Kaneki, we've been over this! There are people who care if you live or die or not! I care! My parents care! You've got a good life, and you're finally away from your crazy aunt. I thought you wanted to live?"

Hide looked so upset. Kaneki felt part of himself die inside. He caused that. Because of his stupid stuff going on! Why did his troubles always hurt the people he was closest to? He was such a leech.

Hide's face softened from anger to sorrow.

"Kaneki, you know being part.. part whatever doesn't change anything, right? You're still you. And you still need to live. I would still care and be very upset if you died."

Kaneki kept lowered his eyes again. Shame curled in the pit of his gut.

"I know," he uttered.

Hide's voice grew even more distraught, Kaneki didn't dare to look up at his friend's face.

"Then, why? If you know, why would you do this? You have a life, future, people who love you!"

Hide was yelling now, and when Kaneki looked up, his eyes were yelling too. It made a small part of him tremble, that frightened, lonely, abandoned part of him that yearned for a family more than life in his veins. He hated upsetting Hide. Upsetting Aniki.

This part of him, this desperate-to-please-as-long-as-you-love-me part of him shook in fear and pain, because if you want family that bad, you do not take negative reactions well.

Kaneki shouted back, desperate to be understood, to- as he saw it- earn back his family. To not be shunned, discarded, abused, forgottenabandonedhatedignored again.

"That's exactly why!"

Silence greedily reclaimed lost ground in the tiny apartment.

Hide looked confused, eyebrows coming together over his concerned eyes.

"What?"

Kaneki felt a sob building in his throat. He tried to swallow it back as he replied, but he wasn't entirely successful, his voice rang out higher than normal.

"I can't hurt you. If I'm a ghoul, that means I eat people."

Hide tried to smile.

"Didn't we talk about this last night? We'll fix it, it'll be fine. I always did say I would help you bury a body if need be."

Kaneki could feel the hysteria rising further, like a cold flame lit in his gut that would not be extinguished. The first tears gathered in his eyes.

"No," Kaneki sobbed. "You don't get it! I'm a ghoul, I'll hurt you."

Hide laughed and Kaneki wanted to slap some sense into him. He just didn't get it!

"Chill, bro! As if I would let you. Besides, even if you did take a chunk out of me, it's not that big a deal! I mean, if you're hungry, and you'll starve to death, then I would rather you live."

Rather than calming Kaneki, this distressed him further. His shoulders shook and the tears wouldn't stop.

"No!" He seemed between screaming and sobbing. "A life where I have to hurt you to live isn't one I want!"

Kaneki wrenched himself out of the chair and away from Hide. His steps were unsteady as he tried to maneuver through blurry threw himself into a corner across the room. Kaneki buried his head into his bony knees and wrapped his arms around them, trying in vain to control his shaking.

Hide rose from the table as soon a Kaneki fled from it. That had obviously been the wrong thing to say. Hide had been going for jest and trying to ease Kaneki's worries, but apparently he had hit a little too close to home with what Kaneki was really going on.

Hide was quick to follow Kaneki and wrap him up in a hug- albeit awkward from how Kaneki had tried to press himself into the wall.

Kaneki only shook harder.

"Hey, I was kidding, that's never going to happen. We're not gonna let it come to that. We're going to fix this. Somehow, some way. Maybe we can go back to the hospital and-"

"NO! I can't go back, I don't know what they might do to me!"

"Okay, okay, we won't go back to the hospital. It's fine, It's fine. We'll just try something else. Maybe we can find something else you can eat. Something humans don't know about. We'll find a way."

"How?! How are we going to figure out the answer to something that's been going on for decades, Hide? We're broke college kids!"

"Oh, come on, don't sell yourself short. I'm sure we can find something. Just you wait and see. There is still a life worth living."

Kaneki let out a final sniff as he lifted his head from the shelter of his knees. His eyes were puffy and red around the sides. His cheeks were shiny with the moisture of his tears.

"Are you sure?"

Hide smiled. He would do anything for his cute little brother.

"You bet! You and I are going to graduate college and be successful millionaires yet, bud!"

Kaneki frowned.

"If- if- we can't do this, you have to promise not to let me hurt you."

"Pffffttt! You couldn't hurt me if-"

"Hide!"

"Okay, okay, I promise. But, it's not gonna come to that. We're gonna beat this. I know it. We're going to change the world, Kaneki!"

And indeed they would.


	5. Chapter 4

"So, this is what we do know. We know that ghouls can't eat any human food. Well, except coffee," said Hide as he grinned at the coffee cup in Kaneki's hands. Kaneki weakly smiled over the rim of the ceramic mug.

The coffee had been more of a habitual surprise than anything. As a college student, Kaneki was used to at least two or three strong cups a day and at this point making coffee for himself and drinking it when he is stressed is a habit set in stone. So, when the coffee smelled good, Kaneki drank it and it continued to taste good, fortunately.

"We also know that a single ghoul can last two months between a human, so roughly a ghoul eats about five to six pounds of food a day. So as far as servings go, a ghoul eats less than humans, but in pure meat."

Kaneki lowered his eyes, feeling uncomfortable with the subject of his food.

"We know that human food tastes terrible to ghouls because of an enzyme on the tongue and that even if the ghoul does ingest human food, the ghoul's stomach cannot digest the food and the ghoul eventually barfs it back up. So, even if the food did taste normal, there is still no nutrients gained.

"Ghouls have an offensive capability known as a kagune. It manifests in... Some kind of limb? Weapon? Arms? Okay scratch that, we don't know exactly what a kagune is either. And you might not have one anyways, since you're only half.

"We know that the CCG, Commission of Counter Ghoul, hunts ghouls. So, they probably won't willingly help us. But, they definitely have the kind of information we need. Maybe they have a safety info website?

"We know, too, that ghoul skin is impenetrable through ordinary means. So, we can assume that kagune, being the weapon of ghouls, are an exception- and of course the CCG has some kind of weapon that's effective if they're fighting ghouls.

We know it's been a month since you're surgery, so we have roughly a month left to find you an alternative diet. That's plenty of time to find something. And even, if we don't there are plenty of other ways to-"

"I already told you," interrupted Kaneki, " I am not going to eat somebody."

"Not somebody! Like, say, a blood bag from the hospital. Nobody gets hurt, and it's enough to keep you alive, till we find a permanent cure. Okay, bud?"

Kaneki frowned, but nodded.

"And this is what we don't know. We don't know why the human body is better for the ghoul than normal food, the enzyme on the ghoul's tongue, or really anything about the kagune.

"We don't know where ghouls come from, or how long they have been around. The earliest known ghoul as far as the websites say was found in the 70s. There are supposedly signs of them being there before then, but we don't know for sure.

"At this point, the CCG is basically a shadow organization we know nothing about or when and how they came about. We don't know how they operate or their command chain. We need to know how to avoid them, and how to get information from them without them becoming suspicious of you. We need to know how to tell if they are hunting ghouls, and how to avoid them without seeming suspicious.

"We need to know how to identify ghouls."

Kaneki jerked back in surprise. It had never occurred to him that he might meet any other ghouls. He felt a shiver as he remembered red, hungry eyes and sharp teeth. Yes, knowing and avoiding ghouls would be a very useful skill to possess.

Hide continued on, "What are their tells? Where are they? How do they interact? What's the best way to avoid them."

Kaneki frowned at the end of all that. That sounded like common sense to him. And yet, somehow Kaneki felt this little niggling in the back of his mind. The reminder that seemed to constantly ring in the back of his mind. _You don't know my story, don't judge me that way._

However, Kaneki dismissed it, even if all ghouls weren't bad, that didn't mean he wanted to meet one either way.

"So, yeah, that about sums everything up!" Hide beamed proudly. He thought he had done a pretty decent job of that summary.

Kaneki frowned. "Okay, now what?"

Hide's grin brightened several megawatts. "Now, we start on our solutions!"

"Hide, I don't think there's a magic cure all to being a ghoul."

"That's not the problem. Well, it is, but it's not the immediate problem. The immediate problem is that you don't have anything to eat."

Kaneki lifted an eyebrow confusedly. "Yeah?"

"So, we just have to find you a body!"

...

...

"Ewww, Hide NO!"

"Awww, come on, just hear me out. We can make a body! Or at least the ingredients of one."

"Hide, this had better not be from-"

"35 liters of water, 25 kilos of carbon, 4 liters of ammonia-"

"Hide," Kaneki tried to cut him off, but Hide kept going.

"250 grams of salt, 80 grams of sulfur-"

"Hide, stop quoting FullMetal Alchemist."

"But, Kaneki, it's perfect! We just have to get those ingredients and mix'em up, like a smoothie. We don't even have to bring back the dead or cross the fourth wall or anything like that."

"4 liters of ammonia would kill me," Kaneki intoned dryly.

"Would it?" Asked Hide.

Kaneki's mouth was open to shoot forth another cutting retort before he shut it with a click of teeth. Would it?

Kaneki didn't know. He didn't know a lot of things right now. Like how he would be able to live if with himself if he didn't try absolutely everything he could to make this right. To not hurt anyone.

Hide smiled. "See? See? We can do this!"

Hid fist bumps the sky in excitement, eyes burning like twin stars.

Kaneki steepled his fingers together in thought. "Okay, we can try a few ideas, but before we do that, we have to do something very important."

Hide blinked and tilted his head. "What?"

Kaneki grinned, Hide wouldn't like this at all. "We're going to have to research, my dear Watson. There's no way I'm going to just drink something we cobble together. It has to be founded on science."

Hide's face fell. "Kaneki! Nooooooo, research sucks. It's for nerds and geeks."

Kaneki frowned at him.

"For awesome nerds and geeks, but still nerds and geeks. Kaneki, we study enough in college, do we have to?" Hide was whining at the end of his sentence, but Kaneki wasn't going to let him gain any ground.

The first step to researching was to decide priorities. Kaneki and Hide quickly deduced that ghoul biology and diet took precedence to anything else due to the proximity of the threat. So the next step was to decide the best place to acquire such information. The internet was quickly ruled out after a preliminary searches that yielded nothing but myths and hearsay with a side of gossip. So, the next best place would be the college library- they went there everyday, so it wouldn't be strange to check out a few books as long as they mixed ordinary study books in with the research books.

This worked, for a time. But, unfortunately their little college has never fielded any kind of interest in a deep study on the biology of ghouls. So, that means that there are few books with the sought after information and the few that do bear it are not always in the best shape. The duo found themselves having searched every nick and cranny of the dusty old building within only a few days.

This left a less desirable source of ghoul research. A public library. Unlike the college's library, a public library in the ward they lived in would have more than just the odd, reclusive nerd holed up in a corner with a weeks worth of coffee and poptarts playing World of Warcraft on the free wi-fi. This meant actual people who might notice either one of them as odd or that their reading material is a little unusual for a couple of teenagers.

But, unless they wanted to trust the ghoul equivalent of "crazy uncle Remus" with his crop circles, the boys had no other choice.


	6. Chapter 5

Ch 5

The library is very nice, all things considered. A little dusty, a little empty. Perfect. Kaneki was surprised it was so empty, to be honest. They had chosen a library outside of their ward, in a bigger, more popular ward. This served two purposes. One, it kept suspicion from where they lived. Two, quiet, quaint, peaceful twentieth ward wouldn't have all the information they so desperately needed.

As they walk through the doors, Hide is moping beside him. Apparently, Hide thought the research era of their cure would be a lot shorter. Kaneki let a small smile loose remembering the blonde's reaction. It had been quite amusing.

Kaneki's grin widened as he told Hide, "Cheer up, it won't be so bad. It'll be interesting."

Hide groaned, "From the mouth of a geek! Kaneki, I do enough of this crap in class. Now, when I could be reading Naruto and discovering how he perfects the Rasengan, I'm reading about a foriegn species's eating habits."

Kaneki rolled his eyes. "Chill, dude. Just think of it as... Research, like what Ed and Al do in FullMetal Alchemist! Write your research in code if it makes you feel better."

Hide's eyes widened in awe. "Seriously?"

Kaneki nodded. "Yeah, just make sure it's legible."

Hide took off suddenly, a cry of, "Alright!" earning him several accusing glares from the few other visitors and a "shhh" from the aged librarian in the back.

Kaneki stared after him as a frown settled on his face. "You're not even going to the science section..." he murmured.

Oh, well. Kaneki always did his best research on his own anyways. Time to get to work. However, as he rounded a corner in the direction of the non-fiction department, he almost tripped over a small form huddled behind the bend.

As Kaneki found his footing again, he had a chance to observe the child. She was small and slim, like the wind might blow her away. A soft blue dress hung off her frame with the pattern of pink flowers drifting over it. She seemed frozen, gazing up at him with wide eyes, a book held to her chest as though she was curled up around it. Absently, Kaneki noticed it was one he had read and enjoyed. She had red, puffy eyes and the tear tracks down her cheeks, told Kaneki that she had been crying quite recently- possibly still was.

Kaneki tilted his head. It was concerning to see a young girl- maybe twelve?- all on her own in such a big library. Normally, she would be accompanied by a parent or guardian of some kind. She'd probably find her parents on her own well enough, but Kaneki felt bad just leaving her there.

Taking a slow, careful step toward her, Kaneki slowly lowered himself to his knees, to be more her level. Her eyes, though full of tears, followed his movements with an unprecedented wariness that Kaneki couldn't help but think he didn't deserve.

"Hey, there," Kaneki said, trying to speak softly and avoid startling her. "Are you okay?"

She continued to watch him with scared-mouse eyes, not obliging him with an answer. Kaneki swallowed and tried again, gesturing to the book she held in her hands. "That's a good book you got there. Takatsuki Sen. Good author. Have you got to the end yet? It's a bit of a surprise in that one."

She jerked in surprise, her eyes dropping down to the book clutched to her chest, its dark cover glossy and well-kept. She looked back to him and her mouth moved for a moment without any noise. She swallowed and tried again, this time with voice. "I just started reading it..."

Kaneki allowed a small smile to grace his cheeks as he said, "What chapter are you on?"

The girl seemed to uncurl just a little, the lines of tension running through her shoulders slowing easing away, her knees pulling away from her chest as she moved to sit up more and lean forward. She held the book out slightly, a small remainder of defensiveness, a wall remaining between them. Her voice is a little stronger this time. "I'm on chapter four."

"Ahh, do you know who the florist is yet? The flowers are the clues."

She uncurled the rest of the way, appearing to gain some trust in him. Her hands still shook slightly when she opened the book, turning to a page towards the front with a page marker. The page marker was floral paper with a beaded string attached, Kaneki noticed abstractly. She pointed to a section and said, "I'm right here, but I'm stuck. I don't know how to read this word."

Kaneki peered at the indicated symbol with concentration- reading kanji upside down was difficult. However, he had read this book at least a dozen times and the translation jumped to his tongue with familiar ease. "It means hyacinth. It's a flower. Here, I'll look it up."

Still moving carefully, Kaneki pulled his smart phone out of his pocket. He googled 'hyacinth' into the chrome app and tapped the images tab. The girl gasped when he turned the phone around, delighted by the sight of such beautiful flowers. She grinned shyly and Kaneki let her take his phone to scroll through all the images.

He settled himself against a bookshelf across from her, content to wait for her parent or guardian to come back- it's not like he had anything else to do, and Hide would eventually be able to find the books they needed, even if he had no interest in reading them himself. So, set on a course of action, Kaneki committed himself for a bit of a wait. He didn't mind, though.

The girl was now frowning at another kanji in the next line over. She turned the book to him- now he wouldn't have to read upside down- and asked, "And this one?"

Kaneki smiled again, "That one is said, 'precocious'. My name is Kaneki Ken. What's yours? If you don't mind me asking, of course."

"I'm Fueguchi Hinami. Pleased to meet you."

Her voice is still quiet, but it is no longer frightened the way it was before. Kaneki internally pats himself on the back. Despite knowing Hinami literally all of five minutes, Kaneki finds that he does appreciate her personality. Mentally, he categorizes her in with Scout Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird for her will to learn and voracious appetite for books that seem to be expanding her vocabulary.

Hinami gets out a small notebook and starts writing in it. Kaneki notices she is writing the words he taught her down. Beside them, there are pages and pages of other words, similarly written and explained. She looks up at him and says, "I'm home schooled, so I don't always follow a set curriculum for my reading. This helps me remember the new words I learn."

Kaneki tilts his head, surprised to find a home schooled child in such a big city- it seemed to him that if you lived in a city, you had more access to exactly the kind of school you wanted so you didn't have to home school. "That's really smart of you. Wow. I wish I was that smart at your age."

Hinami flushed, but a shy smile crept across her face at the praise. "Thank you," she murmured.

For the next half hour, Kaneki and Hinami slowly worked their way through one chapter of Takatsuki Sen's best sellers, explaining and writing words down in turn. They were only interrupted by the soft sound of rubber-soled flats on tiled floor.

Hinami noticed her before Kaneki did, letting out a delighted gasp and scrambling to her feet.

"Mother!" she cried.

When Kaneki turned to look into the aisle behind him, he was greeted with the sight of a slight figured woman. She dressed modestly, with her hair pulled in a loose ponytail over one shoulder. She was smiling warmly at Hinami in relief. "Hinami, you shouldn't wander off like that," she said.

But though she scolded her, Kaneki could tell that she was relieved to see her daughter again as she welcomed the girl into a hug with open arms.

"And, look," she continued, "you've inconvenienced this nice, young man. Shame on you."

Hinami looked down at her feet, a warm flush rising in her cheeks.

Kaneki stood and interjected, "It was no problem really, I'm not in any rush. And I happen to enjoy the book she's reading anyways."

The woman smiled then at Kaneki, she seemed both guarded and yet genuine at the same time. It was confusing.

"Thank you for sitting with her. I'm sorry for the inconvenience." Her voice is soft yet refined.

Kaneki shyly scratched the back of his head. "Really, it was no problem. Hehe."

Hinami's mom dipped her head to him. "Have a good day, young man."

"You, too, ma'am."

After this, Hinami and her mother turned and walked away, Hinami excitedly showing her mother all the new words "Kaneki-niisan" had taught her. Her mother smiled, thankful that her daughter was safe, yet sad about the interaction Hinami had with a human. One day her little girl would grow up and learn to fear humans. To fear even the gentle boy that helped her in the library, because if he knew what they were he would have had a much less amiable reaction.

However, Kaneki was left just tilting his head, wondering for the first time why they didn't smell like normal humans. Surely, as gentle and kind as they were, they couldn't be ghouls. But they didn't make him hungry either. So they couldn't be human. Logic dictated that since ghouls preyed on humans, any interactions they had with humans was fake, but Kaneki wasn't sure how he wanted to fit little Hinami into that box.

Kaneki frowned and turned away, not wanting to continue down that train of thought when it only brought the memories of Rize. Of burning eyes from the pits of hell. And sharp, vicious teeth digging into his skin. Devouring him.

He shivered as he walked away, intent on finding Hide.

 **AN: This was originally supposed to be a little longer, but I try to keep my chapters to around 2,000 words and when the first half of this was done, it was pushing 1,800 and I was a little worried if I took the time to add the other half, between college and real life getting in the way, I would have been late to update, so I figured since this was a good scene to stop it at to cut it in half. I always update this on Tuesdays btw.  
**

 **Next chapter you will again meet a main character earlier than in canon, it'll be fun. Cookies to who can guess who it is! Also, I am aware that the chapter size is a little short by some standards. This is honestly all I can handle writing in one week's time and I usually find good stopping spots between scenes here, so that is my standard.**

 **THANKYOU ALL! I have never had such an overwhelming response with the reviews in all my time writing. Thank you, thank you, thank you! you are all wonderful! I love you guys! You are the best! Btw, I am really unreliable about answering reviews, so if you have a specific question pertaining to stuff in the chapter, just PM me. I'm more likely to answer. LOL**

 **Also a huge thank you to my college room mate who beta reads my stuff. Kass, you are awesome! I don't know what I would do with out her, she is amazing and if you guys could pray for her this next week, that would help a lot. She's going through a rough week.**

 **I can't remember anything else I was going to say- although I know I'll remember ten minutes after posting, that's how these things work- so it's time to say adios for now.**

 **DC out!**

 **oh, and somebody let Timeless Tears know I finally posted this. I can't remember if I told them when the first chapter was posted or not. and I'm pretty sure they'll want to read it, seeing as their story inspired this. Go read that btw, it's awesome!**


	7. Chapter 6

Ch 6

Kaneki found Hide in the manga section. Why he was surprised, Kaneki couldn't fathom. Kaneki had, after all, left his friend unsupervised in the place Hide liked least. Of course, Hide would find the only literature he read consistently instead of staying on track. He was an otaku through and through.

Kaneki rolled his eyes- one covered by an eye patch for security reasons- as he dragged Hide away from the colorfully illustrated action comics. Time to get to some real work. After a few weeks of research, the duo knew a surprisingly large amount- compared to what they knew before.

Kaneki and Hide had been forced to go back and relearn the basics of biology and the human body before even attempting to study the physique of a ghoul. Neither one were going into a field that required an in depth knowledge of science, so naturally prior to the last few weeks of hardcore study, Kaneki and Hide wouldn't have been able to tell you there wasn't a new nucleus found in the human cell. This oversight had been swiftly rectified when Kaneki and Hide found even basic ghoul research undecipherable.

"Okay," began Kaneki as he came to a stop in front of the science section, "We know basic ghoul traits like the four kinds of kagune, determined by the type of RC cell, or Red Child cell. We know the red eye is called a kakugan, once again influenced by RC cells. Finally, we know RC cells are a major part of a ghoul's diet because they have to maintain a very high count of of them- likely has something to do with the use of kagune and other ghoul features. However, ghouls can eat coffee which is not related to RC cells. So, in theory, a ghoul should be able to eat food that is devoid of RC cells."

Hide perked up, over his temporary depression from leaving the manga section rather quickly. "Yeah, so even though only humans are capable of producing and maintaining a constant level of RC cells, you may not have to ingest RC cells at all. As of yet, you don't have any ghouly powers except for the kakugan. So, you probably don't need to eat as many or maybe even any at all. We just have to find a substance that your body accepts like coffee so that you stay full. And later, if it becomes a problem, then we can find another alternative."

Kaneki nodded, already walking forward to pluck a book from the confines of a shelf. "Yes, but let's just focus on the basics for now. We need to know why the ghoul stomach rejects human food because of the enzyme and how do we trick it into liking what we feed it. What does the digestive system trigger against and what does it accept in humans?"

Kaneki skimmed the table of contents of the book he held before returning it to its previous resting spot. That one didn't have what they needed. The next one didn't either. Or the next. The fourth looked hopeful, so Kaneki put it aside on a table. Beside him, Hide was doing the same, though in a more lackadaisical manner.

Hide would read the summary and randomly flip open to several pages. He would read those pages, then either put it back or toss it onto the slowly growing pile on the table. When they had first started researching, Kaneki had been horrified by Hide's style of choosing study material. However, when Hide began consistently choosing the best books, Kaneki was forced to admit that Hide simply had a sixth sense for what was and wasn't important. Kind of the way he had a tendency to read people in just the tone of their voice or a look at their body language. Hide was simply intuitive.

This went on for at least an hour and the pile of books on the table had grown to at least a dozen and a half of thick, scientific tomes. Kaneki observed the pile out of the corner of his eye while he scanned another table of contents. They probably had enough to take home now. The sad part was that most of the material in those books would likely just be repeated information at this point. Facts that Kaneki and Hide had already found in other books during their search. Surprisingly, there wasn't a whole lot of information trying to understand ghouls. Most of it related to how to react if you encountered one, how to fight one, or what their weaknesses are. Nothing even vaguely non-hostile existed in such literature.

Due to this, knowledge of ghoul life, their digestive system and other health habits, is rare and skimmed over if mentioned at all. It seemed that such knowledge did not sell books. Or it was simply restricted to the public. Kaneki was beginning to have the sneaking suspicion about that theory. After all, it was easy to profit from killing monsters. Killing people with a genetic disorder? Not so much.

Kaneki shelved his most recent book and looked for Hide. He found Hide a few rows over, peering into a thick research time with small, fine print. Hide's brows were furrowed and his lips mouthed the words as he struggled to understand all the complicated terms withing the text.

Kaneki remembered his surprise when he saw Hide actually try to research. He didn't understand all of it, but he tried his best and no matter how frustrated the blond got, Hide always came back to the books to try again.

Kaneki lifted his hand, still soft and fleshy despite the clock ticking in his stomach, and knocked no the shelf above Hide's head. Hide jerked up, eyes dazed and wide in surprise from the interruption. Kaneki found himself grateful that he was cutting today's research quest short. There was such a thing as too much of a good thing.

"Hey, I figured we have plenty of books for a while. And I'm tired and ready to head home." Kaneki had begun to find their excursions taxing the longer he went without eating. He could stay out as long as he needed to, but it stressed him out and eventually gave him a migraine for his troubles. Kaneki couldn't focus. Sounds and lights were suddenly louder and brighter than they ever were before.

And the smells. The smells were overwhelming. So strong that Kaneki had taken to rubbing peppermint or lavender oil underneath his nose before he left to go anywhere. It didn't completely block everything out- not even the mouthwatering scents of the people around him that Kaneki wished more than anything he couldn't smell- but it definitely helped lessen the sensory overload.

Hide's eyes crinkled a little at the sides, both excited to be done at the library for today and worried about his friend. Kaneki was getting more and more exhausted, he had noticed. And fatigue was a sure human sign of undernourishment. Kaneki didn't complain, but he didn't have to. They had been brothers for quite a while, after all. Hide had eyes.

Hide grinned a bright grin as he dumped the book on the floor. "Finally!" Hide exclaimed as he stood up and lifted his arms. "I don't know how many more dusty, smelly books I can take. Who knew the life of a nerd was so hard!"

Kaneki turned around and started to walk to the table with all their books on it in order to hide the roll of his eyes. Hide was such a drama queen. Like Daisy from the Great Gatsby.

However, when their table came into view, Kaneki was greeted with the sight of someone else hunched over it, looking through their books. The man was tall with a shock of white hair on his head. His shoulders were broad and well built, but not to the point of being stocky. He wore a white coat and carried a briefcase.

At their approach, the stranger turned and regarded them curiously from behind his spectacles. "Are all these yours?"

Kaneki nervously took a few more steps forward, bringing him a few feet from the table and man beside it. "Er, yeah?"

It felt like Kaneki's voice was stuck in his throat. He knew what that coat meant. What the case held.

Hide had been the one to stumble upon the information on the CCG. Kaneki had bee researching the possible cause of a kagune formation when he heard Hide cussing up a storm. Hide had been so furious upon learning that the weapons used against ghouls are indeed made from dead ghouls. That the only option for ghouls upon revelation was kill, be killed, or go to cochlea- ghoul prison where they are questioned or sometimes tortured until deemed useless and then killed. After they are dead, to add insult to injury, the ghoul's kagune is recycled to kill more of their kin. Suddenly why ghouls fought the CCG so viciously made a lot more sense. Try being kind to the person who killed your mom and tried to beat you with her arm. It doesn't quite work that way.

The man glanced back at the books on the table, missing the panicked look that Kaneki shared with Hide. They hadn't studied this far yet! CCG avoidance came after the food research.

"Oh my. That's a lot of books for just two people. Aiming for a career in RC science? Or maybe ghoul suppression?"

Kaneki glanced back at Hide. Hide smiled and walked forward to stand by Kaneki and answered, "Not exactly. We had a research paper that we decided to this on. Well, originally it was going to be on something else, but the original subject is close enough and this is more original. Hehe."

"Ahh, well if you do plan on a career in those fields, you're on the right track. Actually, here." The white haired man pulled a flier out of his pocket and held it out to Kaneki who carefully took it, frightened that if he brushed skin with the investigator that he would know that Kaneki was a ghoul with some kind of "ghoul sense."

"There's going to be an informational expo at headquarters in a month," continued the investigator. "If you're still researching, or interested at least, you should drop by. It's free and usually quite educational."

Kaneki smiled at the flier in hand, internally doubting he would willingly go near the mentioned CCG headquarters in his life. "Thankyou, sir. This will be very helpful, I'm sure."

The man answered, "It's no problem. Now, I've got to get going, but you kids have a good day. Be safe." As he left, the man tucked his won chosen novel into the crook of his arm.

Kaneki and Hide gathered up their books and left the library soon after. Hide had snagged an extra item that he was reading as he walked, causing Kaneki to have to steer him through traffic as they walked. On the cover, Kaneki could see the image of a boy in orange with whisker marks on his cheeks. What a strange world Hide must live in when he reads those manga.

While they walked, Kaneki's mind kept returning to the man they had recieved the flier from. Although he was a ghoul investigator, he had been very nice. But how could nice people be capable of such atrocious things?

And the book the stranger carried. Kaneki couldn't help but notice that it was one of his favorite novels. Perhaps, if Kaneki could get over his irrational fear of investigators- difficult considering Kaneki's new perspective of their barbaric practices- they could be friends?

Hey, everybody.

Thanks for reading my chapter:)

I am really srry that this is late. I've had three midterms this week and one more on monday. My room mate and I have barely had time to breathe, let alone write and proof read.

Also I realized that I probably should answer one question. Someone reviewed and asked why the Fueguchi's- Hinami and her mom- didn't smell anything different about Kankei. Well, to them, I don't think he would smell very different from a human.

For one, he hasn't been a half ghoul very long. So his scent may not be all that different yet. And he's never used his kagune or eaten human meat yet. The scent of people is actually determined in part by what they eat. People who eat really greasy foods generally smell a whole lot worse than other people because when they sweat, their body is getting rid of all the excess chemicals in their blood. It's quite fascinating, really.

-People who drink or smoke in large amounts really stink, because the chemicals and alcohol are literally being thrown away through their pores. AKA Say no to drugs, booze, or drugs. They make you stink in large amounts-

Also, on several accounts, half ghouls are supposed to taste good to ghouls. Like humans but even better. So, to other ghouls Kaneki probably smells like a really tasty human. Especially since he hangs out with Hide so much, probably has Hide's scent all over him.

Somehow, I knew all this info in my brain, but I forgot to write it in last chapter- srry!

Have a great week, folks!


	8. Chapter 7

Ch 7

"Shhh," hissed Kaneki.

It was dark in the hallway. The only light drifted through the windows. The two teens were in the science building of their college after hours. While being in the building was not strictly prohibited this time of night, it was required that they sign in and out and list the equipment and supplies used. For obvious reasons, the duo did not want anyone knowing they were making a replacement ghoul food.

It would be a whole lot more successful if Hide would stop humming the FMA theme song, which rang out in the silence of the empty building. He was in fine spirits tonight, humming and jumping lightly from foot to foot. Occasionally, Hide would duck behind a corner or roll behind cover like a hero starring in a bad spy film. If it wasn't so ridiculous and unhelpful, it might have been funny.

Kaneki reached out his left hand around the side of yet another corner. In the palm of his hand, he held a small compact mirror. Yet again, the hall beyond was revealed to be empty. Kaneki uttered a small sigh of relief and continued on.

When they reached the lab, as expected, the room was empty. Kaneki found himself ridiculously grateful for it. He didn't have long till something would give. Either his self-control, or his new body. And Kaneki knew which would give first- he could sense the ghoul instincts, the ones that told him to kill, eat, and savor it, lurking just out of sight. Waiting one more night may not be an option anymore.

In the two weeks since they started visiting the new, larger library, Kaneki found it harder and harder to ignore the hunger clawing up his stomach to gnaw on his soul. During class, Kaneki had taken to wearing a scarf over his nose doused in lavender oil. It kept the tantalizing aromas of his fellow classmates at bay, but only just.

Kaneki and Hide entered the lab silently, Hide's humming momentarily ceased. After closing the door carefully, Kaneki glanced around the lab silently, taking stock of various equipment. Along one shelf, expensive microscopes sat, shiny and well kept for the next class of young learners. Another cabinet held beakers of different sizes, along with small gas burners. A counter clung to the far wall with sinks and beakers drying.

Kaneki turned on the lamp lights instead of the overhead lights, no need for anyone to see the experiment about to take place. Hide was already spreading their multitude of research notes on a table, arranging the pages by the information of chemical or element they contained. Kaneki approached the table and said, "Let's grab the ingredients first, Hide."

Hide nodded and said, "We shouldn't need too much of each. The largest unit of measurement we need is for the water."

Kaneki and Hide worked swiftly and silently, bringing containers out of a closet and arranging them on another table adjacent to their notes table. All kinds of things were set out, from acids to oils to solvents.

Just as Kaneki was putting the last ingredient onto the table, he froze. Hide stilled and tilted his head. Hide opened his mouth to question Kaneki's behavior, but Kaneki put up one finger for silence.

As Kaneki listened with all the intensity he could, his worst fears were realized. There was someone in the science building and they were heading for the labs. Looking around in a panic, Kaneki's mind seemed to move at warp speed with Kirk at the helm. There was no way the duo had time to clean all this up. They didn't even have time to grab all their vastly spread notes.

Kaneki quickly dumped the last ingredient onto the thick, granite lab table and grabbed Hide by the arm. Hide let out a startled yelp as he was dragged by his little bro into a nearby supply cabinet. He was immediately shushed by Kaneki. As Kaneki pulled the door to the tall cabinet shut, Hide froze as he heard the door to the lab open.

Kaneki could hear footsteps, light and quick- probably female- as someone entered the room. His breath caught as the owner of mentioned footsteps stopped shortly after entering the room, probably having caught sight of the mess Hide and Kaneki had not been fast enough to clean up.

* * *

Kimi Nishino

It was really supposed to be a quick stop. Kimi had left her phone in the lab by accident earlier in the day. Her boyfriend had... Distracted her as she was leaving and she simply hadn't remembered to grab it as she walked out the door. Now, she was here to find it, but she was met with a bit of a mystery. And Kimi loved mysteries.

Someone was working in the lab after hours. And said someone hadn't signed in- she saw the empty log book- so the question was, why did they feel they couldn't tell the teachers and the rest of the university what they were doing?

And they were doing something alright, there were beakers and measuring scoops all over the tables, with notes covering a whole table, and ingredients another. This was a massive piece of work, it piqued her curiosity to know what on earth could need so many varied ingredients. There seemed to be everything there; from sulfur to carbon. And a large jug of distilled water sat innocently to the side.

As Kimi glanced at the universal solvent, she picked up a random page of notes. The handwriting was messy and tilted, as though whoever wrote them either was in a hurry or was very excited about what they were doing. Looking at the detailed collection of notes, she wondered if it wasn't the latter. As she read the page of notes, she idly leaned against the lab table. As she got down to the end of the page, Kimi found herself frowning. It looked like someone was trying to work out the exact composition of a human body.

Why did someone need to get the equation so small? Why did they want to know anyways? And why weren't they using moles? Elements and molecules were not supposed to be tampered with unless you used mole conversion. Moles were the only way to measure how much of one element weighed so much and how much went into an equation.

Kimi rolled her eyes in annoyance, someone was obviously not a bio or chem major. Sighing, Kimi picked up another page of notes. To her surprise, this handwriting was neat cursive with a slight flourish at the end of ever sentence. The notes were organized with a row of perfectly round bullet points down the side. This one had noticeably better spelling too.

Kimi picked up the first page again and compared. They were definitely two separate writing styles, denoting two separate wannabe chemists, at least. However, as Kimi read the second page of notes, she felt the blood drain from her face. Ghouls. These were notes about food for ghouls. The other page must be the recipe for a ghoul's dinner. She needed to leave.

Kimi had room for only one ghoul in her life, even if he didn't know it. These other ghouls would eat her, saving them the work of having to actually make this fake dinner.

She turned, heart beating in her throat and hands shaky when she forced them to grab her ignored phone. Kimi was almost to the door when the noise of a door slamming open sounded behind her.

"Wait! Please don't!"

If it were any other voice, Kimi would have kept going. But the voice is young. It's desperate and scared. Vulnerable. The very opposite of what she'd always imagined a hostile ghoul would sound like. It sounded like a scared little kid.

Before Kimi went into college, she had wanted to be a nurse. One of those nurses you saw on TV, talking to patients and playing with kids in the children's terminal ward. Then Kimi got to college and she realized most nurses didn't do all that. They changed bed pans and fixed . So, Kimi swapped careers to something that might better suit her. Pharmacy had seemed as good a choice as any. However, a part of her never forgot her love for helping people, to care for people with sincerity.

And, somehow, that voice reminded her of a person in the terminal ward. Desperate and scared.

She got to the door and stopped, pivoting on her heel to spin back was surprised by what she saw. He was just a boy. At the most he was a freshman at college, but to be honest, if not for the fact he was in a college lab, she would have thought he was still in high school. However, it was his face that caught her attention.

He was pale with an eye patch over an eye. Other than this, he could have been any other teenager in Tokyo. Albeit a short one. His eyes, though. If someone could speak through their eyes, this kid could. The desperation and terror from his voice were reflected in his eyes and then magnified.

Unless he was a marvelous actor, this kid wouldn't hurt a fly.

"Please," begged the boy, "please, don't tell anyone. I'm not who you think I am, I swear."

Perhaps it was how scared and small he looked, but Kimi didn't find herself very threatened by him. Her brain needed to tell her bleeding heart to shut up so her life-preservation instinct could scream louder. Kimi asked, "Then who are you?"

He seemed surprised that she'd listened. "I'm... I'm.. I'm just trying not to hurt anyone."

Kimi tilted her head. "Why do you have to hurt anyone?"

His eye glistens and she realizes he's crying. He says, "I don't want to. I.. I.. This isn't my choice. If I don't.. If I don't figure," he waves a hand at the lab tables filled with notes, beakers, and ingredients, "Then I don't know what I'll do. This is my last chance. Please."

Kimi took a small step closer, because darn it, he couldn't seem to help projecting helplessness and pain- like one of those puppies on those shelter ads. "You're not human," she said.

Kimi's beliefs were confirmed when the kid lowered his eye and shook his head. "No, I'm not."

Kimi took a step back, ready to leave- a ghoul was a ghoul, only good one was Nishio- when he lifted his head again and his gray eye seemed to stare into her very soul. "But," he said, "I'm not a ghoul either."

Kimi's eyes narrowed. He didn't look like a liar... But what he said couldn't be true either. Kimi asked, "Then what are you?"

"I.. I'm both, I think."

"Both? How the hell are you both?"

The boy seemed hesitant for a moment. In that moment, Kimi caught sight of movement behind him, another boy was peering out the side of a supply cabinet- where they had been hiding. This boy was blonde and a little taller than the first dark haired boy. They were both the same age, likely classmates- definitely neither was in biology, she would recognize them.

The dark haired boy swallowed and looked at her with the same soul searching eyes. He said, "I was in an accident and I had to... Have a transplant. But, the person that donated the required organs, wasn't... Human. I-I know this s-sounds crazy, but it's true. I swear!"

For a moment, Kimi wasn't sure how to react. Humans couldn't become ghouls. It didn't work that way. Did it? For all of Kimi's scientific expertise, she couldn't ever remember studying comparisons of human DNA to that of a ghoul. She honestly couldn't say that it couldn't happen.

Instead of running, like she should have, she said, "You're right. That does sound crazy."

Despite her indecision, Kimi let disbelief color her voice. The boy could still be lying, making the entire thing up, just to catch and eat her. He had already admitted he wasn't human.

"I'm telling the truth!" The dark haired boy looked at her in despair. He seemed already partially defeated, even as he tried to continue pleading his cause. It colored his voice like an aftertaste of sadness. "My name is Kaneki Ken. Last month, steel beams fell on me and crushed me, so I needed an organ donor. But, when I woke up, everything was wrong! Please."

Kimi felt her eyes widen, despite her will to remain unswayed. He seemed so hopeless. However, when he saw her reaction, Kaneki's face brightened in hope. He continued with his explanation in a slightly more firm voice, only shaking a little.

Kaneki said, "I don't know what to do. I can't eat anything. It won't stay down, but I'm trying to fix it. We're.. We're trying to make a "meal replacement." So that I won't end up hurting anyone. Please don't tell anyone. I'm not out to do harm, I really am just trying to fix this."

Kimi knew before her lips moved what her words would be. She really had always wanted to work to help people. "Well, if you're trying to fix this, you're doing it wrong. First of all, your math is all useless, you can't work equations with chemicals without using moles to convert measurements of elements, it doesn't work that way."

The looks of shock and awe on the boys' faces made her smile when she walked back into the lab.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Hey, everybody! First, I would like to apologize for the late update. I've been trying very hard to not be neglectful with this story like I am with all the rest, so far I'm doing pretty good, I think.**

 **Second, a big thankyou to all my regulars, Blitza, YJ, and everyone else, yall are awesome!**

 **Last, I want to say I will be able to go back to updating regularly, but I don't think I can. Finals are coming up, and I'm at college on scholarship. My parents have five kids to send to college, if I can't keep this scholarship with my grades, then I don't get to come back. Studying and school are taking priority from now on. This is not to say that I won't update, just that it might be every 2 or 3 weeks instead of every week. I will, however continue to update on Tuesdays, because I like Tuesdays and I am a firm believer that good things happen on them.**

 **Bye, Yall! Have a great thanksgiving!**


	9. Chapter 8

Ch 8

The hour was 4 in the morning. The mood was exhausted, but hopeful. On the only empty lab table remaining, there sat a single tall, wide beaker of gray slush. Despite the beaker's size, it exuded an impressive aura of intimidation. Three people stood in silent anticipation around the pristine table. All around, like the ruins of an ancient battlefield, cluttered tables with various spills and materials stood, mirroring the outer wings of a storm.

In the eye of the storm, Kaneki, Hide, and Kimi stared at the beaker in silent judgment. For something that might change Kaneki's deplorable fate, the beaker was awfully small and its contents rather plain to the naked eye. Kaneki shifted slightly, knowing that to finally claim success for the month's work, he was going to have to try it.

Kaneki took a step to stand directly beside the table and beaker. He said, "Well, this is it."

Hide laughed almost nervously, dark circles under his eyes serving as silent evidence of the long night. "Yeah. Haha. Do you think this'll work, Kimi?"

Kimi tilted her head in response to the two pairs of inquisitive, tired eyes on her. "I don't see why it shouldn't. The math and proportions of ingredients are all correct. The theory is pretty sound, how the ghoul tongue recognizes the components of its, er, proper meal and temporarily subdues the RC enzyme to allow the ingestion and digestion of a base not entirely made out of RC cells. Pure coffee does the same thing, despite its chemical make-up being drastically different from humans. If our research is sound, then this should work."

"Okay," said Kaneki. "Guess there's only one way to find out."

Taking a deep breath, Kaneki felt proud that, when he reached for the beaker, his hand didn't shake. In his head, the mantra of This better work, please let this work, please ran at an increasing velocity as Kaneki lifted the smooth, cool surface of the beaker to his lips.

Kaneki's nose wrinkled at the sight of the gray slush. Not a bit appealing. But, the liquid was inches from his mouth and he wasn't gagging, so that was a start. Luckily, the mush exuded a scent so mild, he couldn't really describe it. Kaneki swallowed, before tipping the beaker up higher and letting the unappealing gray slush seep into his waiting mouth.

Despite Kaneki's wariness, he didn't have the immediate impulse to hurl. After letting it sit in his mouth in caution, Kaneki swallowed a little. It went straight down- no gag reflex to speak of. After the first swallow, Kaneki let his body take its natural reaction and swallowed the rest down.

So far, so good. Curiously, when Kaneki sipped again from the beaker, he swirled the gray slime in his mouth, trying to get a finger on the taste. Like its scent, the slush didn't have a very defining flavor. It Kaneki had to pick one, he would say it most closely resembled sweet, french vanilla. But very, very subtle. Just there enough to be slightly sweet. Not bad at all.

Suddenly, Kaneki became aware of how hungry he was. And that there was a beaker of perfectly good food right in front of him. Kaneki swallowed the liquid that occupied his mouth and swiftly made quick work of the remains of his experimental meal.

When the beaker was empty, Kaneki found himself staring down into the empty beaker in surprise. He licked his lips clean of the last remainder of the slime and looked up at Hide and Kimi- who had been silently watching him while he ate. Both wore hopeful expressions on their faces.

Kaneki was too caught up to let his cheeks turn red, however. He gasped out, "It works! It really works!"

Hide grinned, his eyes lighting up as he pumped his fist in the air. "We did it, dattebayo! How does it feel, Kaneki, to be the first vegan ghoul?"

Kaneki felt Hide's infectious good mood spread to him as he, too, slipped a grin onto his face. "It feels a whole lot less hungry, Hide."

Hide laughed as he slung an arm around Kaneki's shoulders. "Yeah, I bet it does, bro."

Kimi smiled as well when she said, "Well, technically Kaneki is vegetarian, not vegan. Vegans eat absolutely nothing harvested from or produced by, or otherwise related to animals. Kaneki eats a mixture based on the composition of humans. So, technically, he's only vegetarian."

Hide rolled his eyes. "Same difference."

Kaneki laughs, it feels as though suddenly gravity had lost its effect on him, like he may float away any second. His emotions were loose, wild, and untethered. They seemed to flow within his chest like a slowly rising tide, gentle and bubbly, but inexorably moving upwards.

For two months, Kaneki lived with the knowledge that he was a mons- a danger, to those around him. That he could come to hurt those he loved the most, simply by existing. And there was Nothing he could do to stop it. Not even to slow it, his slow descent into madness continued unchecked despite all resistance.

But, now, here he was. He was full. The claws no longer tore his guts apart in a hellish pain that evolved from hunger. He could breath and not dig his nails into the palms of his hands as he fought tooth and claw against the demon in his belly, soul versus monster.

The monster was gone. Defeated and banished back to the burning sulfur pits of Hell. And, thanks to the complicated chemical equation strewn across the table to his side, that was where it would stay. For the first time in two months, Kaneki was genuinely happy.

Kaneki laughed again for good measure. Tonight was good. It was a good night to be alive. Or, morning, Kaneki corrected himself. It was a wonderful morning to be alive.

Hide smiled back. He'd noticed the way Kaneki had become more and more closed off throughout the last few weeks. Eventually, Kaneki wouldn't explain how he felt or how he was doing at all. It had been a while since Kaneki-otouto last laughed.

"So," Hide said, "Now that we've made a massive discovery and we're not facing imminent doom, wanna have a Karneval marathon? I want to see what happens to Nai. I can't believe he's actually some kind of super rare mouse."

Kimi frowns from Kaneki's other side. "You just made, arguably, the single most controversial discovery in science of the deca- no, the century, and you're just going to sit around and watch cartoons?"

Hide glanced back at Kaneki before he answered, "Well, yeah? What else would we be doing?"

Kimi seemed awestruck, flicking her gaze back and forth between Hide and Kaneki. She honestly didn't know how to respond to what Hide just said. "Are you telling me you intend to do nothing with this? Don't you understand what all," Kimi stretched her arms out, indicating the messy but productive lab, "this means? How much this could change the way we live forever? We need to tell the world! Publish it in a scientific journal, post it on Facebook, or something. How many ghouls would actually prey on humans if they had an alternative food source? This could save lives!"

Kaneki frowned a little. Suddenly, the feeling of teeth ripping into his flesh invaded his senses. Ghouls were dangerous. He shivered, trying to throw off the remains of the phantom sensation.

The dark haired teen wrapped his arms around himself and answered, "I... Don't think that's a good idea. I admit there is merit, but how do you post it? I don't want anyone to know who I am. There are probably anonymous ways to publish the information, but then if no one knows if it's from a credible source, how can they trust it? The ghouls would think it was a trick by the CCG, even if it wasn't anonymous. Plus, even if some ghouls do try it, the process of producing this... Smoothie is very complicated. I'm not sure most people could do it even if they did have the proper equipment.

"Not to mention the price of all this. How much does all this cost, not including the equipment? I'll reckon it wasn't cheap. Most people probably can't afford this kind of stuff. And if they could, as soon as we post the recipe, chances are, the CCG are going to flag it and the materials needed to complete it. So, even if they did get the materials, the CCG will hunt them down for it. It's not that I think we shouldn't try to help, but I just don't think we can."

Throughout Kaneki's explanation, Kimi's face turned downcast. Kaneki inwardly winced as guilt lanced through his belly. He hadn't meant to dampen her good mood, but there was no way Kaneki was ready for anything else at this point. Just the idea of going public or willingly reveal anything that had happened to him made him want to hide. Kaneki just got a part of his life back from the monster. There was no need to sacrifice anything else so soon after this victory.

Kimi looked at Kaneki, measuring him with her eyes. Pale from more than a month of starvation, with his arms wrapped around himself he looked like a small frightened child. His lack of height didn't help the image.

Kimi chewed her lip and replied, "I understand your trepidation. What you went through is absolutely horrible. But, Kaneki, when I said this information can help people, I meant it. You may not be ready now, but please, if only for the sake of the lives you will save, keep my suggestion in mind. I'm sure there are ways to put this formula out there without opening yourself up to conflict. If anything, this recipe shows how anything is possible. Maybe even ghoul and human cooperation. Just, keep an open mind, okay?"

Kaneki still frowned, but his posture relaxed the slightest bit, making him look a little less like a frightened kitten. Which is good, because Kimi feels bad for spooking or upsetting kittens.

The kid is still doubtful when he says, "Okay, I'll think about it."

(To be honest, this line of thinking lay with his earlier thoughts from the library, but every time he went further with this line of thinking, the agony of fangs on his skin and the fear and despair of knowing- for sure, set in concrete, and etched in stone- that he was going to die. He was going to die and no-one was going to care. This same sensation follows him in his nightmares. The one where he wakes up in a cold sweat and is Thankful that he can't eat, because if he could he would have vomited all over the nice quilt that Hide's grandmother made him.)

If cooperation between ghouls and humans was ever going to happen, it wasn't going to start with him. He couldn't be that brave. Not when the red eyes that chase him in his nightmares belong to those he would be helping.

Hide seems to recognize where Kaneki's mind is, because he steps forward with a warm smile- his smiles are somehow conducting nuclear fusion, Kaneki swears, they're just so sunny- and skips back into the conversation with, "So, while you're thinking on that, we can finish Karneval. We only have 7 episodes left! I wanna see what Gareki does next."

Kaneki is successfully derailed from his previous train of thought as he rolls his eyes. "You do remember we have class tomo- today, right? If we're going to be any kind of on time and awake for it, the only thing we're doing when we get back home is sleeping. I call the green futon, by the way."

Hide squawked and whined, "But, what about Gareki!? And Nai? I wanna know how it all ends. Besides, I wanted the green futon. The blue one has a bump right in the middle of the back. I can't get my beauty sleep on that."

Kaneki smiled. "Beauty sleep? You'll need more than the green futon for that to work."

Hide pretended to be offended while Kaneki laughed at his reaction. Big brothers are supposed to cheer up little brothers.

Kimi smiled as she watched the two teens interact. To think she had been afraid of the pair earlier that night. What a farce. They were harmless, good kids. Well, it was four in the morning, time to start cleaning up so they could all head out before the "early nerds" arrived to get the worm so to speak. Picking up dirtied beakers, she glanced over her shoulder as she walked to the sink.

"Hey," she said, "I'm not arguing with you on the futility of beauty sleep, but if you want to head out anytime soon enough to get some, we need to start cleaning up."

Hide's indignant objections continued all throughout their hasty sterilization of the lab. It would be 5:30 before they were all at their respective homes- Hide staying over at Kaneki's for convenience- sleeping blissfully unaware of the historical monsoon headed their way, spurred on by their night of success.

 **AN: So, I want you all to know, the only reason you are getting an update at all is by the grace of my nagging twin sister who is fond of this fic. Everyone, go thank Blitza, she is my identical twin and she's awesome- even if she nags.(a lot) And, no, I'm not scared of her reading this. She never reads my author's notes. LOL:);p:P;)- If she actually does read this she may revoke my coffee privileges at night. Unfortunately, she is older, so she can do that.**

 **Also, I am currently on a coffee high at 12:09 at night. It's great. And I still haven't done my class homework, Lol. It's also the reason why this author's note is likely to be less formal and may contain more :)s than normal.**

 **:):):):):):):)**

 **I can't decide if I want to post this early or not. You see, I prefer to only post on Tuesdays- for reasons I have covered in previous Author's Notes- but by the time Tuesday rolls around, it'll be exam week and I may or may not remember to get it done. :'( It also depends on whenever my proofreader has time. currently, she is sitting across from me writing her own story. She's a really good writer, I proofread her stuff so I would know, so you should go read her stuff!:):)**

 **Another shout out to Timeless Tears who let me borrow and run with this story idea. If you haven't done it already, go read their original rendition of this idea called "Research and Smoothies." It's definitely worth your time and probably better than mine will ever be. You should read their other stories, too!:):);) They're all really awesome!**

 **By the way, I'm not sure if I mentioned this or not, but in all likelyhood, there may or may not be any actual relationships with the main characters. I'm not very fond of many of the out of canon ships. A lot of them probably would never happen due to personality differences or other reasons. And, the way I see this plot going, Touka and Kaneki may or may not have similar enough circumstances to canon to fall into feelings so fast the way they did in canon. If they do get together, it's going to be a slow, gentle process and they won't actually get together till the end. I honestly always found it hard to believe that they could be the main pairing of the show when, according to the timeline, Touka was actually only in contact with Kaneki for a few months.**

 **I'm serious, you can look the timeline up and Kaneki was only at Anteiku for a limited amount of time- I can't remember it off the top of my head, I'm on a caffeine trip, this is fun!:):):)- I find it pretty humorous that people cite his leaving Anteiku for her protection as a sign of true love. Kaneki left Anteiku for all of the people working there and associated with it. Throughout his life, Kaneki's only source of positive interaction is with Hide or his mom- and she dies when he's young- so by the time he gets to Anteiku, I think he was honestly emotionally touch starved and he bonded with them so well not only because of his situational turmoil, but they were the first people to actually give a crap about him for non-gain related reasons other than Hide. Under these circumstances, I honestly think that even if love does exist between Touka and Kaneki, it is not the true romantic love that holds a couple together in something like a 40 year long marriage. Now, that would be some kind of love. :);)**

 **So, to satisfy my own nitpicky pet peeve when it comes to ships and "love" I may or may not include a romantic relationship for Touka and Kaneki. I just don't think an emotionally starved for comfort geek actually can tell what love really is, if he feels it for someone, or if he is even emotionally mature enough for it after years of antisocialism and neglect.**

 **I am going to, however, try to fix Kaneki's isolation damage. Being antisocial is fine, lots of people are introverts, but if someone is as isolated as Kaneki, then it can result in stunting emotional and social growth. You can see it in how eager Kaneki is to be accepted in different parts of the story. Even as Haise, Kaneki retains this characteristic. Seeking acceptance is fine, it's natural for humans. we are social people. But when you are willing to neglect yourself, you principles, or even change yourself to fit in better, there is something wrong. You see it in Kaneki throughout canon.:'(**

 **Sorry, this is a really long author's note. I guess this is what happens when I'm hyper, I talk a lot. LOL:):):) Plus, I'm waiting for my laundry to be done. if you don't pick it up in three hours after putting it in the dorm's washer machines, the dorm fines you. So, I can't just wait till morning to get my clothes:'( but, with around 100 people in the dorm and only 3 washers and 3 dryers, I can understand the necessity of the rule.**

 **I wonder if anyone else does their laundry at 1 in the morning- 12:51, but it's not like it's specific or anything-**

 **Anyways, if you haven't stopped reading this ridiculous author's not right now, I'm going to go check my laundry.**

 **Have a great week!**

 **P.S. Please pray that I do well on my finals! I'm at college on scholarship and if I lose it, I will be in BIG trouble. Like, I go home, I don't get into another college. My family is not rich enough to put all five of its kids through higher education. So, I NEED this scholarship.**

 **P.P.S. I saved just the Author's Note and realized it was over 1,000 words on its own. I am impressed by the great power of coffee at midnight. I should write under its influence all the time! Chapters would be done in no time!:);)**


	10. Chapter 9

Ch 9

BRRRRP- BA-BOOP

Kaneki's eyes cracked open against the late morning light, his lashes bunching together with left over salt from his exhausted slumber. His tired eyes landed on the lit screen of his phone, the icon on the screen denoting an incoming text message. Kaneki yawned, and snuggled further into the lovely, comfortable green futon.

Kaneki couldn't remember a time when he felt more relaxed and content. Not for months anyways, certainly not after a dream free sleep. The idea woke a grin on Kaneki's face as he slowly stretched out his limbs, listening to the soft pops of his stiff joints. He really ought to stop sleeping on his side, it wasn't good for his shoulders. Put too much weight across his collarbone.

Kaneki sighed as he pushed himself up to sit with his arms in his lap. The sunlight flowed through to land on the feet of both futons. Kaneki looked over to his side and had to muffle a chuckle. Hide was curled up in the strangest sleeping position. He was upside down, with his feet hanging off of the top of the futon. Hide was curled around what looked like his shoe, and was he chewing on it?

Kaneki carefully grabbed his phone and unlocked it, sliding his finger along the screen to open the camera app. He smiled as he shot several choice pictures. Hide was in for a rude awakening when he woke up, Kaneki wasn't sure about all Hide had been stepping in, but considering that Hide enjoyed mild parkour every once in a while, chances were, it wasn't pretty.

Pictures taken, Kaneki took the time to check out the earlier text message. He frowned in slight consternation as he took in the unknown number. There weren't very many people who had his number to begin with, but even fewer chances for outsiders to find it. Kaneki wasn't on any kind of social media and he didn't make a habit of advertising personal information like numbers or addresses. (Too many people got killed that way, who ever did stuff like that was a Dummy.)

XXX-XXX-XXXX: hey, we need to schedule a check up in a few days. Meet me back at the same place at 11 in 2 days.

XXX-XXX-XXXX: this is Nishino

Kaneki blinked as he read the last text from Kimi. Vaguely, he could remember Kimi bullying Hide and Kaneki into relinquishing their phone numbers into her care towards the early part of this morning last night. He had been too tired to ask why or offer much resistance.

Glancing towards the clock in the upper right corner of his screen, Kaneki jerked in surprise when he read the numerals. It was already past 11 O'clock! Kaneki couldn't remember the last time he had slept in so late. Usually, he was up before dawn with a book and breakfast to watch the sun rise. Though, considering the time he had returned with Hide, Kaneki supposed a little lazing about was warranted. Especially seeing as how wildly successful the previous night/early morning was.

All their immediate goals accomplished. It made him want to lay back down and bask in the feeling of contentedness. Except, the clock reminded him that he had an assignment to turn in online and while he had missed class, missing an entire assignment and receiving the subsequent zero as a result was not acceptable. Come to think of it, Hide had this assignment due too. Better get him up and working on it.

Kaneki typed in Kimi's information while he gently nudged the sleeping blonde with his toe, keeping a careful eye out to watch for the slumberer's reaction to his current breakfast. When Hide finally made his way to the surface of the waters of sleep, Kaneki was not disappointed.

"Huuuhhhh, mmmnnn. Whaaa? What's this taste in my mouth?"

Kaneki grinned again as he watched the scene unfold.

"Blergh! My shoe!? What?! What?! Ewww, eewwwww! Oh, nasty! Yuck! Kaneki, help me, I made out with a shoe! Ewww! So gross! I've got to go brush my teeth, man."

Hide scrambled out of the futon, making expressions of disgust and exaggerated horror, slinging his shoe far from him. Kaneki could hear his friend from the bathroom gagging and scrubbing his teeth like crazy.

"Hey," Kaneki called, " When you're done, we have some things to talk about. Kimi wants to meet up for a check up. And we need to start planning what we're doing next."

After getting a muffled reply along with the sounds of gurgling, Kaneki began folding the blankets and rolling up the futons. By the time he was done. Hide was back from the bathroom, albeit still sporting a grimace.

"I'm assuming you want breakfast other than A' la shoe?" Asked Kaneki, as he moved into the kitchen, grabbing a pan and ingredients as he went.

Hide immediately brightened up, his smile stealing its way across his face like a fresh ray of light. "Yes! Yes, please! Kaneki Breakfast for me!"

Kaneki laughed as he started cracking eggs into a bowl. While he didn't eat normal food anymore, Hide still did and Kaneki was honestly grateful for the excuse to do something from his old life, even if he couldn't eat the food from the process.

Settling onto a kitchen chair, Hide asked, "So what did Kimi want?"

"Well," started Kaneki, "We are going to have plans for two nights from now. She says to meet her at the lab again, for a check up. I guess we'll have start keeping stock of how much I weigh and other measurements. To know if the smoothies really work."

Hide grinned, "You lucky dog, 'Neki! You've got a hot upperclassmen fawning over you!"

Kaneki blushed as he turned back to the stove, hunching over it in an attempt to hide the spreading red on his cheeks. "I-it's not like that! If anything it's more of a mad scientist and experiment kind of thing, Hide. She just wants to make sure the smoothie is working. She probably wants the research for her degree or something."

Hide grinned, but decided to leave off teasing his brother again for later. Maybe right before they saw Kimi. "So," he said, "disregarding your new hot nurse and upcoming date, what's next, chief?"

Kaneki coughed, blushing a little more before he answered, "Well, I figured we would start with the smoothie ingredients. Some of them we can find at a convenience store, some of them we need paperwork of some kind. We can't keep stealing them from the school. For one, they're not working off an endless supply, for two, they'll figure out someone is stealing from them."

"Oh! Yeah, we don't have to worry about that! One of my older brothers is a pharmacist. I can ask him for the stuff we can't get." Hide grinned and gave Kaneki a thumbs up.

"Err, won't he want to know why you need the chemicals?"

"Ahhh, don't worry about it. I'll come up with something. Besides, I'm his precious little brother and I'm the baby of the family. My wish is their command." Hide leaned back in the creaky wooden chair with his hands behind his head.

"And you say you're not spoiled."

"Haha, I'm not. I'm just well-pampered."

"Sure."

Kaneki smiled as he finished the scramble eggs for Hide. He grabbed a plate and scooped up the finished eggs onto it before he flipped off the stove and moved the pan onto a cool eye. He set the plate down in front of Hide along with a fork and napkin, then sat opposite Hide on the other side of the old wooden table.

"So," said Hide around a mouthful of food. "We did the impossible, what next?"

Kaneki looked confused. "What?"

"Our next move. What are we doing next?"

Kaneki frowned a little. "Well, I guess we keep making smoothies and keep our heads down and live like normal."

Hide huffed, looking a little disappointed. "That's it? We literally did the impossible, and we're just gonna go back to normal? This is worse than the way the parents had no idea what happened in 'Spirited Away'. It's like nothing ever happened."

Kaneki rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine. What would you want to do?

Hide grinned as he reached down to rifle through his backpack, eventually coming back up with a folded up piece of paper. He spread out the poster on the table, amid the crinkly noises. Kaneki squinted down at the lettering, carefully deciphering it upside down.

Kaneki frowned as he read aloud, "Commission of Counter-Ghoul Public Informational Summit."

Kaneki looked back up at Hide, frown remaining. Hide grinned back, putting on his best 'convince the little brother to take his medicine face.'

Hide used a supportive tone as he said, "Isn't it just what we were looking for? It's the perfect opportunity to get the information on both the CCG and the ghouls. Two birds with one stone and no more risky library visits."

Kaneki grimaced. He hated to curb Hide's unusual enthusiasm for research, but this absolutely couldn't happen. "Hide," Kaneki started.

"No! Just hear me out! In our history class, we are going to have that big eight page paper, right? The one we can choose whatever subject matter we want as long as we have credible sources? We should do it on ghouls! Ghouls and the CCG. You do the CCG and I'll do the ghouls. This can be our cover, but it won't be a cover, because if anyone asks, we really are doing a paper. They won't suspect a thing."

"Hide, I'm not very comfortable with this."

"Chill, man. It'll be fine. What could happen?"

Kaneki jerked his head and frowned at Hide. He said, "You realize those are famous last words, don't you?"

Hide laughed as he answered, "Dude, you obviously need some down time. You are way too stiff! How are the CCG even going to know you're a ghoul anyways? You have no hunt scenes for them to study and no one but me has ever seen you with a red eye anyways. You probably don't even have a kagune. Dude, no one's gonna know."

Kaneki continued frowning. "Hide, I really don't feel comfortable with this," he said, tapping the poster lightly with his fingertip.

Hide sighed, looks like little brother wouldn't eat his vegetables this time. He would try harder later. "Okay," he entreated. "But, just think about it. It's in another two weeks and we don't need to make reservations or anything. You might change your mind by then."

Kaneki gathered up Hide's dirty dishes and snorted. "Doubt it."

Hide smiled as he said, "Well, now that that's out of the way, it's _Bungo Stray Dogs_ time!"

Kaneki shook his head, walking into the kitchen to rinse the dishes as he called back over his shoulder, "Not exactly, Otaku-niisan. We have that assignment due today. Work first, play later."

Hide widened his eyes dramatically and called out over the sound of Kaneki rinsing the dishes, "What?! But, we're supposed to have a victory anime binge! I- we've earned it! We studied hard and fought the good fight and we deserve the victory binge. You cannot take that away from me!"

Kaneki rolled his eyes as he called out, "I'm not taking it away. It's the college. Blame them."

Hide huffed. "I will!" He said as he lifted his nose in the air.

However, he quickly grinned again when he asked, "But after we submit the assignment, we can still have our binge, right?"

* * *

Kimi Nishino

Kimi sighed as she glanced down at her watch. Only a few minutes left until eleven and the boys still weren't at the lab. Normally she wouldn't worry, but lately she had been on edge. It felt like every shadow followed her and every noise was some dark creature of malice coming for her blood. The hair on the back of her neck had been standing up for the entire last two days.

Finally, Kimi heard the soft footsteps- and not so soft voices- of the boys as they sneaked through the hallway. Kaneki is the first one to peek his head around the door. Upon seeing her, he smiles and slips silently inside, Hide not far behind.

Pushing her unease to the back of her mind, Kimi smiled at the boys and greeted them. "Hey, you two. Bit late, aren't you?"

Kaneki flushed in embarrassment and apologized, "I am so sorry, Kimi." Kaneki scowled as he jerked a thumb behind him. "This lug left his algebra homework until the last moment to complete and we couldn't leave until it was done."  
Hide rolled his eyes. "It's not like we're that late anyways. We still have plenty of time to do our Full Metal Alchemist stuff."

Kimi snickered as she replied, "For the last time, it's not alchemy, Hide. This is real science. Not the magic tricks you see on street corners. Science that is ages ahead of anything the experts of the ghoul field are brewing up, I might add."

"Yeah, yeah," said Hide and he threw himself onto a lab stool, dropping his backpack onto the table.

Kimi turned her attention to the dark haired teen hovering awkwardly in front of the table where she had already set out all the smoothie ingredients. "Kaneki, if you don't mind coming over here, I've brought a scale and some other things to take your vitals with. Hide," she addressed the blonde who was pulling a manga out of his bag, apparently content to sit and read while they did all the work, "While we work on this, you can get to work on making another smoothie or three. I'm pretty sure Kaneki is hungry or getting there."

Despite Hide's mild whining, data was recorded and three smoothies were completed withing an hour. Soon, the trio even managed to clean up and put the lab back in order before they stood before a full two pages of medical notes and three smoothies to discuss their findings thus far.

"Okay," said Kimi as she took charge. "From what I can tell, all your vitals and measurements are normal for a healthy 18 year old male. Your heart rate and temperature is running a little high, but seeing as full ghouls run faster and higher, too, I think that's your new normal.

The only data I am concerned about is your weight. For your height, you should be around 130 to 140 pounds, and right now, you're barely pushing 105. This is likely a result of you not eating for almost two months, but it's still a little concerning. Now, with the smoothie's consistency and your metabolism, normally I would have you drinking a smoothie every two days or whenever you get hungry, whichever comes first.

However, since you're so underweight, I want you drinking at least one smoothie every day until I see a drastic improvement. Looks like it's a good thing I had Hide make three, because that's the soonest I can meet with you two again."

Hide grinned, "Sweet! Looks like we're all set then! We've got your ghoul-food Kaneki." Hide swings his arm over Kaneki's shoulders.

Kaneki tries in vain to push Hide off as he answers, "Please, don't call it that, I'm pretty sure Kimi should name it, since she's the only reason it actually worked."

Kimi frowned at the two as she said, "About that... I don't mind helping you two with the lab aspect of this, but I do feel the need to point out that you're going to have to find a different ingredient source. We can't keep borrowing them from the college without listing them in the log book."

Hide lifted his hands, palms open, saying, "Chill. We've already got that covered Kimi. I've got a brother that can hook us up."

Kimi frowned. "Is your brother in smuggling or something?"

Hide choked and almost fell off his stool. He laughed as he answered, "No! Ha ha! He's a pharmacist."

Kimi relaxed as she said, "Oh, okay. In that case, make sure he can get them in bulk. It'll be better if we can mass produce the smoothies and then freeze them. Less of these risky lab break ins."

Kaneki smiled softly as he said, "Aww, but Kimi, that's part of the fun."

Kimi laughed as she playfully swatted him with some of her notes. "It'll be a lot less fun when you have to explain to the dean why you're making and drinking the smoothie personification of a human corpse."

"Hey," said Hide. "There's an island out there somewhere where human is a perfectly legal dinner choice. We could always leave the country and go there."

Kimi smiled as she flexed her biceps. "I bet there's good surfing there. Wanna learn to hang ten, Kaneki?"

Kaneki grinned, easily playing into the joke. "Naah, I'll be too busy working on my tan."

Hide chuckled as he poked Kaneki in the ribs. "You, a tan? You'll never get tan. You're too pale, man. At the best, you'll end up looking like normal. Hey! You know, I bet you would be a super convincing vampire!"

"What?" asked Kaneki.

"Yeah! You eat a liquid form of the human body! Technically, you're a vampire. I'm friends with a vampire. This is the best. Day. Ever!"

"Hide, I am not a vampire. Vampires sparkle."

Kimi grinned as she couldn't help but chime in, "I've got some glitter eye shadow in the car, Hide. So, if you've got time, we can fix that real quick."

Kaneki felt his stomach drop as he saw a fiendish light Hide's eyes kindle and burn. Somehow, he seemed to need just as much protection from his friends as he did from the ghouls and CCG. Looking over at Kimi, he saw a similar light echoed in her irises and he knew he was doomed to sparkles and fangs, at least for the night.

As Kaneki walked home that night, he had his hoodie pulled over his head, trying to hide the heavy silver eye shadow streaked down his cheeks and neck, compliments of his over eager friends who already had plans for a twilight movie- Hide, surprising had neither watched the movies nor read the books, opposed to Kaneki who had read them and Kimi who had watched them- and which he was being volunteered to attend. Kaneki had no doubt that Hide would be searching the web for hours looking for various vampire animes in order to 'teach Kaneki to be a proper vampire.' Kaneki internally shuddered at what his friend might find and force him to watch.

Although, it wasn't all bad. Due to the ensuing game of eye shadow tag in the parking lot, the trio had learned that Kaneki was developing stronger and more skilled motor coordination. During their chase, it was like Kaneki suddenly grew wings. Kimi and Hide couldn't touch him. And suddenly, midway through their game, laughing and yelling, Kaneki found everything slowing down around him. It was similar to going from half asleep to totally awake and focused in a millisecond. Hide, who was running behind him, trying to lead Kaneki to Kimi who was coming around the side of a car in front of him suddenly slowed down.

As he looked in front of him, trying to find a way to get around Kimi while avoiding her make up smeared fingertips, Kaneki's eyes were drawn to the trash and that was nailed onto the ground, the street lamp a few feet away, and the roof of the Nissan Quest that Kimi was coming around. In his mind, he saw himself jumping onto the to of the trash can, then to and off of the side of the light pole, onto the roof of the van, and finally after running over the rood of the Nissan, rolling onto the ground to continue the chase.

Throwing his self doubt away along with the little voice inside that reminded himself how the last time he tried athletic things had gone- painfully, not even Hide will use it to tease him-, Kaneki threw himself into a leap for the top of the trash can. He landed a little flat footed, one side of his left foot was hanging off the edge of the can's metal lid, but he knew he couldn't allow himself to lost the momentum. So, he used his right foot to push off of the lid and pulled his left forward to get a better side kick off the light pole. As he kicked off, Kaneki could see the startled wide eyed look on Hide's face as he watched his book nerd friend soar onto the top of a car.

When Kaneki landed on the car, his feet slid on the smooth surface and he slid almost to the edge of the roof, over which he saw Kimi startle and jerk away thinking that he was going to fall on her. Regaining his footing, Kaneki stumbled and skidded across the roof of the car to the front, leaping from the roof to the hood, and then to the ground where he pulled into a forward roll, using his shoulder and momentum to soften the force of his landing. Throwing a taunting grin back to Kimi and Hide, Kaneki continued to run ahead, leaving his flabbergasted companions behind staring after him in awe and shock.

Truly, they had only gotten the glitter on him because Kaneki was ready to go home and he recognized they were having too much fun and were each too stubborn to just give up and go home without landing at least one hit. Now, walking home wearing half Kimi's eye shadow pallet, with new skills under his belt and a new friend in the brilliant, kind upperclassman, Kaneki couldn't find it within himself to be irritated. Now, if only he could be sure no one would see him wearing women's cosmetics on his way home and that Hide wouldn't manage to get a picture of his now sparkly vampire face.

 **AN: So, I got so excited! I decided that I would write you all a chapter twice the size of my normal one as a late Christmas present. According to my writing software, I have 4,000 plus words- roughly twice the preferred length of my normal chapters. However, the counter for FFnet says I have a little less than 3,700 words. I do not understand this logic. So, I am sorry. FFnet screwed the awesomeness of my gift, but I'm hoping you enjoy it anyway.**

 **And, yes, I know it's a lot of filler, but it's important filler. It's the filler that sets up EVERYTHING else. Plus we see Kaneki gaining some prowess with his new ghoul powers in a fun, safe environment. Yay! However, if you are familiar with the series, you know that this is about to change FAST. So, if Kankei is our lit buff and Hide is our adorable otaku, that leaves Kimi to be our movie binger. This is my headcanon anyways.**

 **So, despite loading up with 18 credits- 2 sciences! why!?- I am going to try my best to post again next week. Also, I stayed up late on Monday night specifically to post on Tuesday, because I am so pumped to get this story on the road. We are about to finish the beginning arc entirely and then we can get into the interesting stuff. Also, word of warning to any of you who are Tsukiyama Shuu fans. I DESPISE his character. I find him absolutely disgusting and I wish he had died instead of XXXXXXXXX -spoiler-. I hate him. He's a predator and in the real world, he would be locked away or shot for good reason. Like one of those murderers who kills and eats small children or something. So, yeah. I am going to try to write him fairly but I honestly think he's character is the biggest pile of walking, steaming XXXX on the planet. I might hate Yamori more, I'm not sure. But, Shuu and our gang will probably not be on completely friendly terms for a while- if at all.**

 **Again, huge thanks to my beta reader, my awesome room mate. Though, she made me finish my molecular biology homework early before she would even look at my chapter:,(**

 **And, an especially huge thanks to all of my awesome reviewers! You guys have the power to turn my frown upside down! For such a small fandom, there are a lot of very kind, considerate readers in it. My sister writes in the Harry Potter fandom a lot for her crossovers and she still doesn't get as many reviews. You guys are awesome! Thanks so much!**

 **That said, happy Tuesday and have a great life.**


	11. Ch 10

Ch 10.

Kaneki jerked to the side as his flank was accosted by thin fingers. A ticklish tingle arced up his ribs and he fought to contain the giggles. If Hide caught on that he could be tickled again, Kaneki would be running the whole way home to avoid being sentenced to a trip of laughter.

While Kaneki was starving, his weight had dropped far enough that the skin across his ribs had become too thin to tickle. Instead of feeling funny, tickling had been painful.

Currently, Hide was poking Kaneki and teasing him about how he was "packing on the pounds" as he called. Apparently two pounds of weight over the past week counted as such.

Kaneki turned further away as the fingers renewed their attack a littler closer to his arm pit, his Achille's heel, so to speak. His breath caught in his lungs as he tried to hold it in and his eyes crossed in concentration.

Unfortunately, it was all for naught, Hide hadn't been his best (only) friend for so long without anything to show for it. Hide had caught the spreading smile and shaking shoulders of his little brother in his sights and he knew what that meant.

Hide laughed as he pounced on Kaneki, hands reaching for the weakness under Kaneki's arms.

Kaneki joined Hide in laughter as his friend tickled the flesh of his sides. Kaneki reached back, trying to get access to the soft spot on Hide's lower ribs.

Kaneki was rewarded with a high pitched huff as he turned tail and bolted, the sound of Hide's rubber soled sneakers slapping against the pavement warning him of his friend's pursuit. He tried to lose Hide by ducking into a side alley, taking one of their many newly learned short-cuts.

Recently, Hide and Kaneki had been mapping out the surrounding area, exploring back-alleys and hidey holes alike. It had started when the two had taken a wrong turn home from the college, finding themselves in a veritable maze of alleys and back ways that took them hours to get free of. Recognizing it as a good way to lose pursuers- if you were a half ghoul, you could never be too cautious, reasoned Hide- the boys had spent their new free time to range the streets, finding dead ends and cut-throughs aplenty. Kaneki thought he just wanted to be like Detective Conan.

Kaneki laughed softly as he hurtled forward, swinging into a sharp right as he turned into yet another back alley. Hide was right behind him, cackling as he jerked right without missing a step. Another right and then a left. The two boys ran through the trails of the urban jungle with ease.

Unfortunately, it couldn't last forever. Kaneki glanced behind him to see how far away Hide was, but suddenly he was skidding on concrete after stepping on a crushed tin can. Kaneki continued with his forward momentum for a few seconds before the can got caught on a crack on the pavement.

Kaneki went flying forward directly into a bag of some particularly rancid trash. He hissed as he rolled over onto his back, sensitive nose in agony. Not to mention it was bleeding from his rough landing, along with a few new scrapes on his arms and face. They stung something fierce.

Luckily, his leftover adrenaline from the run was taking the brunt of the sting as he hopped up, scraping off a few bits of refuse as he did so. He would have to wash these jeans tonight. Probably the hoodie, too. Apparently, Hide thought it was hilarious as he came running up, laughing and pulling a spaghetti noodle out of Kaneki's hair.

It was slight. Kaneki never would have heard it if he had not stopped- fell. The rustle of an empty sprite can and a soft scraping noise, someone's sneaker shifting on pavement, just out of sight. That was all it took to raise the hair on the back of Kaneki's neck. Someone was coming.

Kaneki managed to turn to the side, yelling, "Hide!" before he was thrown into a nearby wall with semi-concussive force. Everything went blurry as he smacked his head on his way down. Thankfully, the blurriness didn't last as he lifted his head to see a tall man standing where he had just been thrown from.

The man was broad shouldered, wearing nondescript jeans and jacket with the hood pulled low over his face. However, even with his profile in shadow, Kaneki felt as though he knew him from somewhere. In the dark of the alley, Kaneki could barely make out the outline of glasses and fluffy, medium tinted hair.

However, as Kaneki struggled to discern more of their attacker's face, he realized he had been mistaken. This wasn't a man at all, he was a ghoul. The red iris glowing in each eye revealed him for what he was and his killing intent. He wouldn't have shown them his face if he was going to spare them.

Kaneki felt his breath seize in his chest as he found himself staring into the same ruby shade as was hidden behind his eye-patch. The shade he found himself avoiding in the mirror every morning. For a moment, the ruby eyes flicked over to the stunned standing figure of Hide. Kaneki jerked to his feet, intending to put himself between the threat and his nii-san, crimson pupils refocusing on his moving shape.

White teeth glinted in the lamplight as the ghoul grinned with a feral intensity. He started speaking then, saying, "Really? Really? That whore's been skimping on me for you two? If Kimi was going to ****** cheat, at least she could pick someone other than a couple of lame-*** wimps. What a ********! ***** ****** ****** ****, you ***** ***** *****, I'm gonna make you wish you were ******* ****** dead! You filthy ******! I'm going to eat you slowly, let you feel it."

Kaneki jerked back, not only at the profanity but at the implications the man was fielding. Kimi? Did this guy know Kimi?

Kaneki lifted his hands in an attempt at placating the angry predator, mentally panicking over the idea of Kimi being stalked by a ghoul. "Umm, I think you've got the wrong idea. We're not involved with Kimi like that."

This seemed to incense the man further. He snarled, body going tense in his fury. "Don't you *** ***** lie, you ********* ***** ***** ******! How dare you! ***** **** ******! Take my woman, I'll ***** show you, ********. I'm going to ******* eat you! There will be nothing left! Nothing!"

Kaneki flinched as the man started walking towards him, slinking like a reptile, his strides smooth yet aggressive. Kaneki tried to step back, but the cold, rough wall of the building met his shoulders when he tried.

"I-I'm not lying!" Kaneki's voice barely came out as a squeak, his heart too high in his throat to speak loudly.

This time, there was no verbal response. The ghoul was already upon him, one inhumanly strong fist pummeling into Kaneki's cheek with enough force to throw him to the cement ground. Kaneki yelped as pain bloomed from both his cheek and the same spot of his skull that had made contact with the wall before.

"Hey!" Hide shouted as he started running towards the two, but already the ghoul was returning to Kaneki.

Kaneki tried to scramble to his feet, another attempt of speech struggling past his teeth, when the stranger struck again, throwing a kick into Kaneki's vulnerable stomach.

"Ooof!" Kaneki grunted in pain as he was sent flying several meters. His stomach rolled and rebelled, threatening to eject the most recent smoothie. Kaneki wrapped his arms around his aching middle as he struggled to sit up, fear crawling up his throat.

Suddenly, rubber treads filled his vision as the crimson-eyed attacker smashed his shoe into Kaneki's face, slamming his head back into the concrete and reigniting the fire in Kaneki's skull. The treads were moved to Kaneki's shoulder and the boy found himself staring up into the shadowed face of his attacker. A fist quickly filled his vision. Then another. And another.

Kaneki's hands scrabbled at the ankle of the stranger, trying to force him off. His vision was fading with each strike, pain going numb, and Kaneki knew that he would be knocked unconscious soon. An augmented body would only get him so far if he didn't do something in his defense.

But, no matter how Kaneki struggled, he couldn't force the ghoul away from himself. The stranger was so much stronger than Kaneki. He doubted if his attacker even noticed his efforts.

The fog in Kaneki's head grew darker, creeping in like the mists in a cove. His arms, pressing against the leg of his attacker, grew weaker. Eventually, they fell numbly beside his numb body.

Dimly, Kaneki could hear yelling. A flash of gold peaked through the fog at the edge of his vision before it disappeared back into the shadowy mass, along with the foot on his chest.

There were noises coming from beside him, but Kaneki heard it as if through water. Kaneki wanted to close his eyes and drift into the fog. Before he could, another flash of gold on the edge of his vision caught Kaneki's attention.

Turning his head hurt, the pain piercing through the numbness. However, when he does, Kaneki finally sees the flash of gold for what it is: Hide's blond hair. Although Kaneki thought he was numb, he felt his blood run colder at the sight of the ghoul holding Hide above the ground by his neck. Hide must have distracted the attacker from whaling on Kaneki.

However, Hide is completely human. He doesn't have Kaneki's newly discovered hardiness. Hide is about to- to...

Nii-san is going to..

NII-SAN!

Suddenly, it seems as though the ice running through Kaneki's veins has been transfigured into magma. The fog is gone and Kaneki's mind is crystal clear, static fading to reveal the choked sounds coming from Hide's crushed throat. A mix of terror, desperation, and an unholy rage rises to take the place of Kaneki's heart in his throat. It comes out as a growl as Kaneki rolls himself over to his knees.

Kaneki shakes as he finds his feet, whether from fury or the strange new energy flooding his system. It felt like he had run 100 laps, yet had the energy to run 100 more at the same time. Exhausting and bolstering.

He was moving before he realized his feet were shifting. Kaneki moved with long, leaping strides as he quickly closed the distance between himself and the stranger. Kaneki swung his arm up into the side of the ghoul's face with as much force as he could muster and was distantly- behind the rage that bubbled beneath his skin like molten rock- amazed at how the ruby-eyed menace flew through the air before striking one of the alley walls.

Kaneki didn't need a mirror to know that one of his eyes must be the same shade of ruby without the protection of his lost eye patch. It must have come off when the ghoul had been punching his face in.

Kaneki didn't give the ghoul a chance to catch his breath, Hide was curled on the ground coughing as he caught his breath. It was reminder enough.

His leg caught the stranger as he was getting up, kicking the ghoul against the wall again. Kaneki followed it up with another punch to the head.

His fist met brick as the attacker ducked and rolled side-ways along the wall. The sparks of fire-pain that danced up his arm didn't make it past his wrist, they were swallowed by the new rush flooding through Kaneki's veins. Dancing with new grace, Kaneki turned to continue his assault on the ex-assaulter.

However, Kaneki's attacker was no longer willing to permit Kaneki to steal the tempo of their fight. Now that the initial shock of being attacked by a downed opponent had worn off, the scarlet eyed stranger rested lightly on the balls of his feet. His eyes narrowed in on Kaneki.

"A ghoul, eh?" the attacker muttered. "Oh, well. Guess there'll just be more gristle than normal."

That was all the pause Kaneki was rewarded as they both leaped forward simultaneously. For the next few minutes, the sound of fleshy impacts and angry, non-sensible yells were the only noises to permeate the alley. Hide remained to the side, unable to join the fight due to injuries sustained before Kaneki's second wind.

Unfortunately, the result of the fighters' clash should have been clear before they engaged. The stranger was a ghoul born, forced to be ruthless from birth; he was at ease in his own skin. Kaneki was not.

"Auugh!" yelled Kaneki as a roundhouse kick caught him in the chest. He could hear his ribs creak. The kick sent him tumbling backwards. Kaneki rolled up onto his knees, panting in shallow breaths with one hand wrapped around his aching ribs. He felt suddenly fragile, like he could break from the stress put on his newly changed body. To the side, Kaneki heard Hide yelling to him, telling him to get up.

As Kaneki lifted his head, his eyes met the pair of rubies set into the face of his opponent. And he watched as the rubies turned to glance at Hide. Kaneki felt the ice in his blood cooling the rage at the sight of deadly attention once again being aimed at his brother. Now, Kaneki again felt the shivering of his body. But, this time, he knew. It was fear.

As red eyes returned to meet his own heterochromatic orbs, the fear abated. But, only a little. After all, why should the cat hunt two sparrows and only kill one?

A smile crept across the ghoul's face as he observed the helplessness of his prey. It was intoxicating. The knowledge of how much control he had.

"Heh," he said. "You two are pretty ******* *** good friends, yeah? **** ****."

The stranger crouched down, so his face was level with Kaneki's as he jerked his thumb towards Hide. "Didn't even ******** ***** run. He couldn't have gotten ******* far on that ankle, but he didn't even ****** try, little *******. Guess the worst thing that happened to the **** was meeting you. *******, you know? I think this is what I'll do."

The ghoul's smile widened as he took in Kaneki's terrified face.

"I'll be nice. I'll let you stay close when I kill you. Very close."

The ghoul leaned close, pressing his palm into Kaneki's sweaty forehead.

"I'll kill him first, rip him limb from limb. He probably won't have long to beg for his life. Then, I'll feed him to you. Piece by ******* piece. Send you both to the next life together. Maybe, you'll be reborn as ********* twins. Ha!******** funny, isn't it?"

Somehow, Kaneki felt his heart beat even faster. Disgust and terror filled his mind as he struggled to bring himself to fight. But there was no strength left in his skinny limbs. Only the fear.

The hand on his forehead twisted into his sweaty bangs, pulling his head to the side, so he was looking at Hide. The stranger spoke softly into his ear, "How do you think he'll taste?"

...

...

...

..

To this day, Kaneki still doesn't know exactly what happened. The memories are too far lost in battle lust and gut wrenching terror. According to Hide, Kaneki turned super saiyan on the ghoul's butt. (Though Hide uses a different word.)

All Kaneki knows is that one moment he's kneeling on solid concrete, and the next he's up and moving. Except, something is different. He is different.

All of his body still hurts. It is not the same reckless fury from before. This is pure desperation. Fear based adrenalin. The final burst of speed from a cheetah chased gazelle.

His fist catches the underside of the ghoul's jaw, and this time, Kaneki can hear it crack. Then, on some foreign instinct embedded in the back of Kaneki's brain, he twists to the side and throws his shoulders out.

What follows is the most beautiful and most terrifying thing Kaneki's ever seen in his life. He feels a pull in his lower back, not painful, more like a light stretch. He can hear his shirt rip in what seems to be a frozen moment of silence. Then, they come. Arching from around his sides and shoulder.

They are graceful, yet barbaric as they zip towards the ghoul. Two out of three of the tentacles make contact. Two in the stomach, one shooting high over the attacker's shoulder.

As foreign as the new appendages are, Kaneki also feels the sensations of piercing flesh and whistling air. It is both natural and foreign, like he has been doing this his whole life, yet cannot remember the specifics.

After striking, the tentacles push the ghoul a few meters away before retreating to hover over Kaneki's shoulders. To the side, Kaneki hears, "Whoah! Kaneki, didn't know you read those kinds of books!" from Hide.

For a moment, Kaneki examines them. They are short now, yet he knows they can contract and extend much further than they look. They are also stronger than they look. The strong flesh that coats his kagune is a beautiful mix of red and blue, gleaming in the night.

He quickly turns back to the attacker, but the stranger hasn't moved. Kaneki hopes the monster stays down as he limps towards Hide. As he goes, the tentacles slide back beneath his skin, as though they were never there.

"Are you okay?" Kaneki asks Hide as he offers his shoulder. They could lean on each other the rest of the way home.

"I should be asking you that, 'Neki. I'm not the one whose face is going to be completely purple tomorrow."

"But, you didn't ask. I did. Are you okay?"

Hide rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just some bruising and a bad ank- LOOK OUT!"

Kaneki's broken, bruised body had no way of turning to see and intercept the swinging kagune in time. It struck him in the upper chest, flinging him violently into the pavement.

A blossom of fire lit up behind Kaneki's eyelids as the same spot on the back of his head made contact with solid concrete.

The fog from before, thick and black, came back with a vengeance when Kaneki managed to force his eyelids open.

Their attacker stood snarling, red eyes gleaming, with a long, snake-like kagune lashing the air from his shoulder. "No more playing around," he snarled.

Kaneki tried to get up. He did. His abused, exhausted body barely twitched.

The fog swirled tighter along his vision, nearly completely obscuring it as the attacker was suddenly there, foot on Kaneki's chest, kagune raised to deliver the final blow.

As the kagune came down, Kaneki knew only darkness.

* * *

 **AN: Sorry about the bit of wait there. Turns out combat scenes are difficult for me to write. I wanted to get it perfect! So it kind of took me a while. In the interim between this and the next chapter, you should check out Sasuke by Blitza. She's doing a beautiful rendition of the sannin switch.**

 **Also, fun fact. Even I have no idea what Nishiki is actually saying, he cusses so much that I just put in a bunch of these * things. I literally don't know what he's saying. Have fun making something up, lol.**

 **Also, with this we enter into the second plot arc for this fic and the first major arc where stuff actually happens. Woot!**

 **Also again, I have no idea when I will next update. I do know what I am doing for the next few chapters but as of right now, I have joined a band, joined a basketball team, have required studio hours, and I am still expected to maintain my all A average by my parents with 18 credits. I'm a little busy, but hey! On the bright side, I'm never bored.:)**

 **This fight was written entirely from Kaneki's point of view. So, some stuff does happen that he doesn't see, like Nishiki fighting Hide the first time Kaneki goes down.**


	12. Chapter 11

Ch 11

Enji Koma

 _Swish... Swash..._

 _Swish.. Swish... Swash..._

The rag moved repetitively over the counter, pulling up the day's worth of coffee spills and other stains. Enji sighed as he glanced around the cafe he had come to call home. He and the other workers were just finishing with the closing chores. Enji could hear Yomo in the kitchen as he washed the rest of the dishes, while Kaya Irimi worked to mop the front of the shop. In the dim light of the bar lights, the mop water shined brightly against Anteiku's tile floor.

Enji rinsed out his rag, admiring the silhouette against the backdrop of the quiet street beyond the coffee shop's windows. Another day spent in quiet paradise. It was both a blessing and a curse. He hung his rag up to dry just as Kaya finished mopping. In the kitchen, Enji could hear Renji Yomo switching the water off, likely finished as well.

Irimi hefted up the mop bucket with ease as she carried it to the sink to dump.

Enji frowned at her. He said, " Didn't the manager say not to dump the mop water in the front sink? Something about health standards."

Irimi answered as she brushed past him, "I'll clean the sink in the morning, don't you worry your pompadour head, ape."

Enji's frown turned into a scowl as his eyebrows pinched together. "I'm pretty sure you said that last time and then Yoshimura made me clean it, you worthless mutt."

Irimi grinned, her white teeth glinting in the bar lights. "But, wouldn't you want to do a favor for a lady?"

Enji rolled his eyes, "Lady, my ***. The only thing I see is a female dog."

Irimi scowled and opened her mouth for another retort, but was interrupted by the timely appearance of Renji Yomo. The white haired man stood in the doorway to the kitchen, drying his hands silently as he regarded them with amused eyes.

"Enji, be polite to women." Enji scowled as Irimi visibly brightened.

"And, Irimi? Act like more of a lady and clean up your own mess."

Enji shot a grin at Irimi as she sputtered and glared daggers at him. With a huff, she slammed the bucket down in a supply closet before striding back to the bar sink. She snapped the tap on and began to vigorously scrub the sides of the sink. Enji was going to stand nearby and gloat over his temporary victory on his spitfire cohort, when he noticed a flicker of movement in Yomo, beside him.

As Enji glanced over, suddenly Yomo burst into movement. Irimi yelped as he abruptly shut off the sink. Enji remained silent, waiting for what Yomo would do. Yomo didn't do crazy things. He had reasons for everything, at least, now that he was older.

Yomo tilted his head, and Enji realized that the stoic man was listening to something. Out of the three of them, he had the best senses.

Yomo scowled darkly and glanced back at the other two. "Some kind of tussle in the back alley. Probably some kind of territory dispute."

Irimi sneered, saying, "I thought we made it very clear the last time that ghoul combat around the cafe is not to be tolerated."

Enji smiled, something feral and wild glinting out. "I guess somebody didn't get the memo. In which case, it's our civic duty to remind them of it."

Yomo returned his smile with a mirthless one of his own. "Koma, you're with me. Irimi... Let the manager know where we are, just in case. And finish cleaning up your mess."

Enji left the front of the cafe listening to Kaya's indignant sputtering. He just wished he had a camera to commemorate the moment.

As the pair leaped into the night air of the back alley, they pulled on masks, one ape and one crow.

There was a fight, or, had been one. Currently, it was drawing to a close with the winner poised in the motion of a killing blow. Enji was kind of tempted to just let him do it, would be less work to break up a fight if there wasn't one. But, then the old man would be mad. And it would leave a mess. And the punk about to kill the kid would get off scot free.

Enji couldn't stand punks. Too noisy.

"Hey!" Enji barked. The blond punk jerked his head around in surprise, having been unaware of his audience.

Enji took a step and leaped, shouting, "You're in Anteiku territory!"

The crunch his fist made as it pulverized cheek tissue was absolutely cathartic. Enji might be a changed ghoul, but he still loved a good brawl every once in a while.

Enji grinned smugly as the stranger flew eight feet before slamming directly into a wall. That'll teach 'im. Enji took a moment to look at the other stranger lying at his feet. Small, scrawny, pale. Someone doesn't have parents hunting for them. Or if he did, they weren't doing a great job. He could do with a few extra servings.

"Ka- Kaneki.."

Enji turned to see a second teen with golden blond hair laying a few yards away. However, despite the injuries the blond seemed to have sustained, he was dragging himself towards the dark-haired teen lying at Enji's feet. One arm wrapped around his ribs, the blond used the other to crawl towards the fight's loser. Judging by appearance, they weren't related. Maybe they were grouped together for survival? It wasn't uncommon for young ghouls to join in groups of two to six in order to hunt together and survive.

Enji stiffened as he caught the scent of the blond. This one wasn't a ghoul, he was human. Which was odd, cause last Enji checked humans were supposed to run away from predators. Maybe this one was defective? Would explain the strange hair.

Movement caught Enji's eye and he turned in time to see the original winner of the tussle stagger to his feet. The taller man's face was twisted in a snarl, one hand wrapped around a bleeding wound in his torso. Enji let his eyes lazily travel over the wound. He hadn't put that there. Looks like the little runt at his feet got a good shot in. Kudos to the kid, his attacker must at least have a hundred pounds on him.

The stranger narrowed his eyes, pupils flicking from Enji to Yomo behind him. He growled, baring flashes of white teeth. Enji mentally rolled his eyes. Cocky young upstart.

Enji spread his arms out, hackles rising as his eyes narrowed to slits. The blond stranger turned his angry gaze to the human that was still trying to unobtrusively get closer to the insensate form by Enji's feet. The furious ghoul then proceeded to vomit the foulest language Enji had heard in quite a long while.

"****** you ******!******** ************ *************** ************ *************** **************! ******************** ******** ********! I'm gonna ******* ******** ******* and eat your***** ***** spleen! ******* try and ******** ******** sleep tonight! I'll be ****** ******* **** back!"

Then, proud- or at least mollified- of getting the last word into what appeared to be a young hot-blooded dispute over the attentions of an attractive young lady, the blonde brute turned on his heel and fled. Enji watched until the eager shadows of the alley swallowed him up in their nocturnal hunger. Then, he turned back to the other two interlopers of Anteiku's back alley. By this point the blond had reached the ghoul at his feet and was trying to covertly drag him away from the predator standing above them both.

Enji was tempted to let them go, but dragging a bleeding, unconscious body anywhere was going to attract attention- not to mention that the blood and scent trail would lead the doves and their dogs right back to Anteiku. Right back to Their Place- Home. And, in turn, to any ghoul that relied on them for food, albeit indirectly, through contact or by forcing the non-hostile ghouls to go out and hunt, therefore raising the body count of the 20th ward and drawing the doves in by the flock.

Enji sighed, glancing towards Yomo- who was doing nothing, the lazy bum- before lifting his foot and gently setting it down on the blond's outstretched arm, which was in the process of dragging the injured ghoul away. "Hang on, now," Enji said. His voice was surprisingly gentle, even to him, but he didn't want to startle the poor defective kid. It was mean to pick on autistic people, or so his mother had once told him. "You're not going anywhere. Why don't we go inside and you and your friend can explain why you got into a fight with that overgrown brat."

The blond's eyes widened, staring up at him with terror, the previously missing self-preservation instinct finally kicking in. It was enough to make Enji feel bad when he grabbed the boy around the waist and hoisted him over his shoulder, holding on to his ankles to keep him from struggling more than beating his hands futilely against his shoulders. With his head, Enji gestured to a very disapproving Yomo to grab the unconscious ghoul on the ground. Then Enji took his defective burden inside, footsteps behind him letting him know that Yomo was following.

* * *

 **AN: Hello! Guess who's done with exams? This girl!**

 **I am very sorry for my late update! I could not spit this chapter out, it just didn't want to be written. And now that it's written, I'm frustrated over the quality. Also, since I'm home from college, I am without my regular beta reader, so this chapter is fraught with errors. If you see any, can you let me know? BTW, I had to swap beta readers because my room mate, who was my beta reader, moved out. Apparently I stress her out? I'm kind of not surprised. On the personality scale, I'm an ENFP- extroverted, messy, artistic, idealistic, and I often don't view things the same way others do. my room mate was an INTJ- she is introverted, OCD neat, decisive, and factual. We make wonderful friends, but maybe not so great room mates. Although, now she has problems with her current room mate, too, who is closer to her personality. In my opinion, since my ex-roommate was an only child, she may just not like having a room mate at all.**

 **Basically I had to find another beta reader. Luckily, there was a girl just down the hall, who I get along with great and who also likes creepy anime- though she has never watched Tokyo Ghoul- and she agreed to beta read my chapters. Unfortunately, college is over and I am home and she is at her home several hours away and my internet is down so I can't email her the chapter to have it read through. Luckily, my grandmother has agreed to allow me to use her hotspot for a few minutes to post. So, that's the only reason you're getting the chapter at all, all hail my Abuela! but this is not beta- read, so look out!**

 **On the upside, I made mostly A's this year! Except for one C, but that's in math and I am not surprised, I suck at math. But, now I can keep my scholarship! YUS! SO, I should be able to update at my original pace, one chapter a week, now that I have no school! Yay!**

 **see you guys next time!**


	13. Chapter 12

Ch 12

The first view of the ghoul's evil lair looked surprising like a coffee shop. It was also a little taller than Hide was comfortable with, as the world spun and danced before his eyes to the beat of the ache in his ribs and skull.

As they entered a kitchen area, through which Hide could see a store front, the ghoul carrying Hide on his shoulder shifted Hide, trying to compensate for the uneven weight distribution. This moved the aforementioned bruised ribs and Hide hissed and wiggled, trying to take some strain off them. He pressed his hands against the ghouls back and pushed, trying to get free and ease up the pain to get a breath in. Asphyxiation was not helping his spinning vision.

To Hide's surprise, the ghoul seemed to notice and almost gently shifted Hide back to his original Hide wasn't sure whether the ghoul did it for him or not, he was nonetheless grateful for the renewed air flow.

However, the pain returned when the ghoul started carrying him up a flight of stairs. Every step he took, Hide could feel the air being pressed out of his lungs with an agonized gasp as his ribs creaked against one another. This was going to leave a bruise. No, bruis _es,_ plural.

By the time the quartet reached the next floor up, Hide wanted to follow Kaneki into unconsciousness. However, both of them insensate would leave them absolutely helpless against the ghouls carrying them. Not that they weren't already helpless. Kaneki was injured and out cold, while Hide's ribs were badly bruised- not that either one could likely do anything against these new coffee villains anyhow. They must be even stronger than the other guy, the way he backed off so quick- although there is a hopeful voice in Hide's mind that insists that the giant hole in his gut had something to do with it.

Either way, Hide knew the trapped feeling lurching and churning in his gut was singing the truth. They were trapped.

As they leveled out into what looked- despite Hide's unique view- to be a flat of sorts above the coffee shop. They were in a long narrow hallway with doors lining the wall. It was through one of these doors that they entered. To Hide's silent surprise, the resulting view was not of a torture chamber. It looked like a fairly comfy room. There was a bed in the corner, with what looked like a hand made quilt, and a few chairs scattered around a little table. The room was warm color themed and had a homey atmosphere, complete with what looked like a sweet little old grandpa sitting in one of the chairs.

As soon as Hide registered the old man, he felt his brain zero in on him. He may seem like a benign little man, but Hide had long learned to trust his gut. This guy only looked harmless. Come to think of it, he lived in a nest of man eaters, there was no way he wasn't packing somehow. Best to consider him a hostile.

Hide's world tilted as the ghoul carrying tipped him right side up and plonked him into a soft chair, sliding into a char beside the old man like it was perfectly normal to kidnap blond teens and drop them into chairs. At least if crap went down, they were in a city, so someone would hear him scream.

A shuffling sound off to the side revealed the pale haired ghoul laying Kaneki down onto the bed. Kaneki stirred but didn't wake, and Hide wished he would, even if for the sole reason that Hide didn't want to face ghouls all on his lonesome. They were supposed to be a team. Like Sherlock and Watson. Hide was Sherlock and Kaneki was Watson... Or, maybe the other way around... But Hide didn't want to find out the mystery or face down ghouls alone, so it was a moot point.

The old man smiled at Hide, but Hide couldn't help but think that his crinkled crow's feet wrinkles hid more unseen motives than years. The ghoul with the ape mask tried to look less threatening- relaxing his posture, keeping his hands open and smooth on the table- but Hide thought he only managed to look as harmless as a tiger relying on camouflage. He couldn't hid his warning stripes.

"Why, hello, there," the old man said. His voice was kind and gentle. Hide found himself liking the man despite himself. He was warm.

Hide opened his mouth before snapping it shut. There wasn't much to say in this situation. They had kidnapped (saved?) he and his injured friend. Does a 'hello' even work in this situation?

The old man sighed softly and Hide thought the smile the old guy was so carefully presenting might have drooped a little. "Well," the old man began. "It seems we're in a bit of a pickle. We're part of a group that likes a little peace and quiet. It's nice every once and a while. But, you see, when ghoul combat gets reported, things tend to not be so quiet."

Hide's breath hitched in his chest as he met the old ghoul's- he was certain now- eyes. There was only one sure way to ensure silence. It lead to a home six feet under. Hide would rather have more sleepovers at Kaneki's place. On the good futon.

The old man seemed pleased with Hide's reaction- could probably smell fear, the expert on TV said most predators could- and continued on, "You see our dilemma, yes? I'm sure you are more than willing to accommodate, however I am reluctant to take the word of a stranger."

Hide swallowed. They wanted his name. His name was a family name. From his father's side. They weren't getting it. But from the man's tone, he had to give them something. Something that Kaneki wouldn't unknowingly give away upon his hopefully imminent awakening. Hide couldn't help but think, suddenly of a book that Kaneki had been reading. It was in the action genre, which was a little unusual- Hide had encouraged this trend, and the main character was also blonde. And had a very similar name- Hide might have picked the book out for Kaneki because of this.

"Hideki. My name is Hideki."

Inwardly Hide winced as he fell under the judging eyes of the old man. Had his pause been too obvious? His voice too high? Or maybe his heartbeat gave him away. Some predators had ears like that. And Hide was too shook to provide a believable last name. So he kept his panic from coming up his throat and his face clear.

To Hide's relief, the old man seemed content with his answer. The old man's lips tugged up at the edges, in what was perhaps a placating smile. It didn't help.

The old man pointed a gnarled old man hand at Kaneki. "And him?"

There was very big part of Hide that suddenly wanted... Well, Hide didn't know what it wanted. To either fight the aged ghoul or to take Kaneki and run! But the old man needed to stop threatening his little brother!

"He," it was hard for Hide to speak past the terror-rage clogging his throat, "is Kenichi. My friend."

The old man thankfully returned his hand to lie flat on the table- really thankful for him, Hide was beginning to get ideas about how to stop him from pointing at his brother, and really, Hide needed to stop reading some of Kaneki's horror novels, biting the man's hand off should not even be an option.

"I am the Manager of Anteiku, Yoshi. Now, before we go any further, I would like to clarify something. You are a human. And your 'friend' is not."

Hide wanted to flinch when the Yoshi's eyes fastened on him, evaluating him to a scale he wasn't aware of somehow. Hide was surprised when his voice didn't squeak. "Err, yes, I am. And, no, not exactly."

The old man smiled again, and Hide wanted to both hide in fright and breathe easier. It seemed like this smile was actually honest, that Hide had passed a test somehow. That only served to bring the terror in his chest to boiling. Happy ghouls were not always a good thing.

The old man seemed more relaxed as he next asked, "And you're alright with the fact that your friend isn't like you?"

Hide frowned internally. This question, like the last, felt weighted somehow. It made answering it much less appealing. "But, he is, in all the ways that matter. He has two eyes, two ears, one nose, one mouth, and one kind, beating heart."

The man looked as surprised as Hide felt. Where had all that come from? Hide wasn't exactly known for being particularly eloquent, that was Kaneki's thing; but, Hide found that he wouldn't, couldn't, take the words back. They rang a little too true in the quiet of that upstairs coffee-shop room.

The old man looked even more pleased, like a cat that got the canary, cream, _and_ locked up the hound. In contrast, Hide found himself feeling less and less pleased. And it may have been his imagination, but Ape-face seemed to have been shocked. Despite the mask hiding his features, Hide could still see the way his whole form had gone immobile after his answer. Hide found a small part of him, under his reigning terror, that was amused with the idea that he broke a ghoul.

"I see," said Yoshi, "It seems you do have a lot in common."

Hide turned then to sneak a glance at his unconscious brother. "Yeah," he murmured, "we do."

"Well," began Yoshi, dragging Hide's attention back to him, "Seeing as you don't seem to mind what he is, would you mind enlightening us on that distinction?"

Hide frowned in confusion. "Uhh, what?"

"You see, Kenichi here doesn't smell like a ghoul. His scent is that of a human. But, taking into account what happened out back, it leads me to believe that his scent is duplicitous."

Hide's mind raced as he stared into the old man's eyes. They knew. They somehow knew Kaneki was not one of them, that he was different. It brought the fear back up into Hide's throat. What if they hurt Ototo? For being not one of them!

He tried for ignorance, hoping to divert them. "Err, really?"

The old man's eyes narrowed and Hide almost flinched when Ape-face shifted, adopting a more tense posture. "Child," this time, there was nothing of the gently grandfather voice to seek comfort from, "Here at Anteiku, we are not very tolerant of liars, especially not within our own walls. I will ask you again, what is Kenichi?"

* * *

AN: HI! so, I know it's not quite a week, but to be fair, I did mean to post this on Tuesday, trying to get back to my original schedule( because Tuesdays are good days, and we've had this discussion in the AN before).

On another note, we finally have some more dialogue! Yay! I think honestly that dialogue is some of my favorite writing to do. I really enjoyed writing this chapter, whether because it was on the heels of the last and was therefore easier or if I just love writing from Hide's perspective, I'm not sure.

NAMES- these are important! Yes, I know Hideki is used to describe a ship and I said I would do no shipping (and I still won't!) but just completely take that context and throw it out the window! Seriously people! I had to use Hideki because it had 'Hide' in it and it has a specific translation that will be useful later. (HINT- this is building for something awesome! So remember the names I gave them here.) But, to say it one last time, Hideki is referring to a fake name with a specific translation that Kaneki won't ruin the cover for when he calls Hide by name. It will in no way ever refer to the pairing.

Ok, so I reread last chapter a little and realized that if you read it, it might sound like I am insulting autistic people. I am not! I am, however, pulling on a trait my autistic cousin has- FEARLESSNESS-! If I ever need someone to back me in a fight, she's probably who I want on my side. She's not scared of anything. However, because fearless ghouls usually get killed by investigators, and vice-versa, for Enji this Fearlessness is not a positive trait. He sees the way Hide is loyal and brave and immediately thinks there is something wrong with him, that he would do something so countercultural. So, by using Hide's loyalty this way, I'm actually trying to lift up people like my cousin. loyal, brave people.

I also again brought up Kaneki's scent. For those of you who missed it in another AN, he smells like a human based on the evidence in the show that half-ghouls taste good- even better- than humans. My theory is that from a distance, to any ghoul, Kaneki smells like a human, maybe slightly more tasty. You would have to get really close (Tsukiyama is a weirdo!) to be able to tell that his scent is any different. Kaneki can tell ghouls from humans because the ghouls don't smell tasty.

* * *

 **IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!**

Also, I wrote this to challenge you. Take a good long look at what Hide says in response to Yoshimura's second question about Kaneki. I want you to remember that quote. Especially the last part. "One kind, beating heart." Now, I want you to apply this to every human on earth. Every person you walk by, you have something in common with. Save this idea. Then, the next time you're in an argument with someone, the next time you pass a beggar, the next time you have the chance to show kindness and your first impulse is not to (because it's hard. forgiveness, generosity, kindness, it's all really hard sometimes.) remember Hide stepping in for Kaneki as he basically says, "It doesn't matter what you look like, the color of your skin, the accent you speak with, what you eat, what you wear, whether you are from the north or the south, whether you are rich or poor, male or female, or even the views you hold and your opinions, you are still a thinking being, and we still have enough in common to share friendship, respect, and kindness."

That is kind of the whole reason I wrote this scene. Right now, the world holds a lot of hatred. It's hatred that we make everyday. I believe (Iknow!) that the world can be a better place. A place where people don't solve their problems by killing each other. A place where fathers don't abandon their children. A place where kids aren't forced to grow up too fast to appease a social pressure that in the end will kill them as they overdose on drugs or alchohol trying to look cool. We can have a world without these things. But, here's the kicker. _We_ have to build this world, one choice at a time, one kindness at a time.

So, my challenge to you is to take Hide's words and apply them. Don't use the n word just cause you think it's funny. Don't disrespect the waitress just cause she's blond, pretty, and female. Give everyone the same care you would apply to yourself- and watch the world shake as you watch it change.

so, get to work, our kind world won't build itself.

Srry for the long author's note. Just had to get that out.


	14. Chapter 13

Ch 13

Hide felt his mind stutter to a halt, his eyes unconsciously zeroing in on the man's hands which lay folded on the table. Hands that could easily reach out and crush Hide's skull if he lied or diverted attention again. But, surely Hide couldn't tell the truth?

If he told the truth, what if they just killed them anyways? Was there truly death lying in wait down either path? Surely there was some in between. Some hidden passage into a guarded safe haven.

Hide licked his lips nervously. He glanced between the two ghouls seated across from him, as though hoping one would relent. The sleek surface of the ape mask and Yoshi's unyielding, wrinkled face stared back in a mockery of him.

"Kenichi..." Hide began, only to trail off into silence. He didn't want to tell them anything snagdagit! But, it was obvious that Hide would have to give them something. Just a little information, to keep them satisfied so that he and Kaneki could get loose and disappear, never to be seen down these back alleys again. A bone to gnaw on.

But what could they afford to give? Certainly not the accident, they could track that back to them by hospital records even without their true names. Hide knew he would have to tell them a little, but not the whole story, mix the truth with the lie so his captors couldn't sniff out the difference.

"Kenichi," Hide began again, "he is different. We're not entirely sure even how different, really. We don't actually know where the differences begin and extend to."

The old man frowned in confusion and steepled his hands on the table. "What do you mean, you don't know. How can you not know he state of oneself which is apparent at birth?"

Hide took a deep breath, steadying himself for the next part. The lie part. He answered, "But, he wasn't. Not at birth. Kenichi was human at birth. He became... Different recently.. Because of what they did."

Yoshi's eyes had narrowed in thoughtfulness as Hide spoke, widening slightly as Hide revealed the last part of his words. "So, you're claiming that someone made Kenichi like this?" Yoshi asked, disbelief coloring his words.

Hide looked the ghoul straight in the eyes, reminded himself that this part was true as true could be, and said, "Yes."

Yoshi's eyebrows rose as he asked, "Who did this to him? And how?"

Hide forced his heart to steady as he began to truly weave his web of half-truths and lies. "We don't know who did this to him, he was attacked and when he was released he was like this. We don't know how exactly he was changed, but we think that ghoul organs were implanted into him."

Yoshi curled his hands one over the other and closed his eyes, seemingly thinking. Hide took this time to examine the ape-guy, who had been silent during this whole conversation. His posture had been largely passive and uninvolved. Now, after Hide's confession, he was leaned forward slightly. Although Hide couldn't see facial expressions behind his mask, he would guess that the ghoul was curious. (Hide couldn't blame him, as soon as he and Kaneki got home, they were so testing his new found kagune, Kaneki might be able to do both their homework at once!)

Yoshi opened his eyes and Hide snapped his attention back to the ghoul who seemed to be running the show. Yoshi said, "What have you done since he was returned? Did you not report anything to the police? Surely, there must have at least been a missing person alert."

Hide shook his head, thinking fast. He used his shaggy blond bangs to hide his eyes as he answered, "I tried, but I couldn't. The police will only send an alert out if the victim is missing for over 36 hours. He wasn't gone that long."

Yoshi frowned again, leaving Hide feeling like he's messed up one of his stories, even though he knows he's kept them straight. Yoshi asked, "And what about his family, surely they would have reported his absence?"

Hide allowed himself to wince slightly, to aid the act, "Kenichi doesn't have any family, they died when he was very young. He lives alone and he's kind of shy, more fond of books than people, so I think I'm the only friend he keeps up with regularly." Mix facts with the false.

"Why didn't you report Kenichi's assault and abduction to the police?"

Hide tried to keep his tone even as he answered, "We didn't really know we needed to at first. We thought he was fine and we thought if we made a racket then they would come back. And, Kenichi doesn't like to talk about it. He barely remembers when he was taken. He doesn't even know if they were ghouls or not."

Hide winced internally, thinking he had said too much, but Yoshi seemed to have taken it for fact, hook, line, and sinker. The old man seemed to be thoughtful rather than suspicious. To be fair, if someone was going to lie, usually they would have painted a believable fallacy. Perhaps that is why Yoshi seemed to be so accepting. The tale was too crazy to be feasible, so if he was telling it expecting it to be believed, then it _must_ be true.

Hide almost felt guilty for pulling one over on the old-timer. His Momma always told him to be polite to the elderly. But, if the elderly was against Kaneki, well, then they had to go. Nobody hurt his little brother.

Yoshi furrowed his eyebrows together, frown deepening as he caught part of the sentence. "You say you don't know if they were ghouls, do you suspect otherwise?"

Hide wanted to flinch. Whoops. He'd given the ghoul too big of a bone. Oh well, this could turn out handy in the future anyways. "I... Well, I'm not entirely sure what to think, sir. But, I know that for ghouls, being able to go o school is difficult. So, it stands to reason that being able to go to college long enough to learn how to perform a complex surgery, implanting foreign organs into a patient's body no less, would be nigh impossible. If there are ghouls involved, I don't think they would be the ones doing the surgery. So, I do think there are humans involved."

Yoshi dipped his head in agreement. "Very sound reasoning, Hideki."

Silence reigned in the room, long enough for Hide to catch his mental breath. It looked like his plan was working. Meaning they would survive. From the moment Hide had seen the other, hostile ghoul leap from the shadows to attack them, there had been a doubt, kept quiet in the back of his mind. The doubt lied, said they would die and there was nothing Hide could do about it. For the first time that night, it looked like they would live to see the dawn.

"It seems," said the old man, "That your friend, Kenichi, and you by extension, have found yourselves ensconced into troublesome times. Do you believe the altercation tonight to be related to Kenichi's unique circumstance?"

Hide blinked, silently turning the question over in his head. Did he want these guys to know anything about Kimi? Flipping H. E. L. L. No. She didn't need that. After tonight, she would also be dealing with a crazy, psychotic, hopefully ex ghoul-boyfriend. Ex ghoul-friend. Hehe. But, bottom line, Kimi didn't need any reference here, so it was best to let the anonymous abductors take the fall. But, if he did that, it could easily come to light that he had lied. After all, that butt said that he'd be back.

Hide adopted a look of innocence, perfected by living in a household of many older siblings to take the blame. He said, "I don't know. I don't think so, though. He seemed to be going on about some slight we did to him. But, I've honestly never met the guy."

"So, you're saying that you believe his confrontation with you to be entirely separate from the incident when Kenichi was abducted."

Hide pretended to think about it for a moment, before nodding. "Yes. Now that it's over, the exact details of all he was saying are kind of blurry. But, to be honest, I just don't think he was smart enough to be involved with Kenichi's kidnapping."

Hide congratulated himself on both his lie and his excellently applied burn, even if the cussing, yakuza wannabe ghoul wasn't around to hear it. Plus, the burn even made sense- that guy obviously wasn't manipulator or surgeon level smart.

Yoshi chuckled and nodded sagely. "I couldn't hear much, but I could hear some of his yelling through the windows up here. Just listening to that, I find myself agreeing with your assessment. However, it does seem that beyond this most recent attack, Kenichi may not be safe if he continues to remain unable to live and function as a ghoul. Can he at least eat?"

Hide told the truth, pulling his face into a distressed frown. "No, he can't eat. But, Kenichi can drink coffee. So, that's something."

Yoshi nodded and said, "He has a ghoul's diet, then. He does look awfully thin, how long has he been unable to eat?"

Hide lied easily here, "About three and a half weeks, I think."

Yoshi sighed, "It is fortunate that you found us this early. Another month, maybe less, and your friend would be reduced to skin and bones, his basest instincts warring with his moral fiber and tearing apart his sanity in the process."

Hide furrowed his brows, that didn't sound like they were just letting them walk it sounded like-

Yoshi smiled and held out his hand, while off to the side the ape man took off his ape mask, revealing a serious, but friendly face.

As Hide held out his own hand- what else could he do?!- Yoshi said, "Kenichi is going to need to learn how to live in his new condition, we can teach him. It just so happens that Anteiku is hiring now. When do you think you can both start?"

* * *

AN: Check for pigs in the sky, I'm on time!

Not much to say, except I do need to address a review last chapter.

Last chapter someone asked why Hide was openly calling Kaneki his brother and pointed out that before they hadn't done that. I would like to answer and say that yes, they actually have. Their pseudo sibling bond is featured quite prominently in chapters two and three. Part of the reason that this bond doesn't appear as much normally, hence why they use nicknames, is because in those chapters it's either Hide's pov or Kaneki is emotionally fragile enough that he calls Hide 'aniki' for emotional support. Kaneki is not comfortable calling Hide that normally because he is emotionally stunted, remember? So, while he may occasionally think of Hide as his big brother, he will likely not address him as such unless under great duress. Hide doesn't call Kaneki brother normally because he knows that it makes Kaneki uncomfortable because of emotional stuntedness. However Hide will think it as often as he likes, which considering that Hide has ALWAYS wanted a little brother is quite often, especially when he is panicked because the older sibling's first impulse during a crisis is usually, "Where is my little sister/brother?! I must make protect them and get them out of here!" Hide kind of has this instinct, despite the fact that Kaneki is the same age.

I hope that clears everything up for you!:) Also, if it bothers you that Hide is Kaneki's big bro, I am going to inform you that this will not change, so you may wish to seek other reading material if you so choose. Other than that, thank you for your review, I appreciate the time you took to write it and that you thought my story worth commenting on.

Have a great day!


	15. Chapter 14

Ch 14

The moon gleamed, casting silver highlights across the dingy apartment building. Despite the poor visibility, his red eyes picked out her door easily. Honestly though, he could find this place blind if he had to.

He curled a hand around his middle, feeling sharp pangs of fire stretch across his belly. **** brats. Fury coiled in his wounded gut at the reminder. Next time, there wouldn't be any nosy Anteiku busybodies to intervene. As soon as he healed up, there would be **** to pay.

But right now, it was the *****'s turn. Stupid human. Not a good woman at all. Nasty cheating, ****** ******* *******. What a low class ****.

Well, now she was going to get what was coming to her. Filthy rag. The flight of stairs made his body burn in a way he knew he would regret later, but the fury and the temptation of retribution tasted too sweet on his tongue to resist. Turning back was probably the smart thing to do, but Nishiki was loathe to do it. The ***** was going to pay.

He knocked on the door, not caring if the apartment's occupant was awake or not. When there was no movement from inside, despite seeing her car in the lot, Nishiki snarled and threw his shoulder against the door. He twisted the vulnerable, cheap knob and was rewarded with the sound of cracking wood and shrieking metal. Inside, he hear her fumbling to get out of the futon.

Nishiki swung the door open, letting it smack against the wall with a sense of pleasure. He could smell her fear. She should be scared.

She stumbled out of the room wide-eyed and messy-haired, bare feet padding clumsily in her half-awake state. When she saw him, she looked confused, startled to see him here unannounced.

"Nishiki," Kimi murmured. Her eyebrows drew together in concern when she saw the red proof of his earlier brawl dripping down his sides. The dark stain was clearly visible, even against the dark fabric of his stolen hoodie. None of the clothes were his tonight. No sense in drenching his own attire in the blood of his enemies. It was sloppy. The doves picked up sloppy.

Nishiki met her eyes and felt his fury ignite anew. How dare she. How dare she stand there looking so concerened when she was such a *************** liar. Conniving she-witch. Nasty, dirty *****. *****. The anger churning low in his gut rose, coming to spew from his glaring eyes and mouth like molten lava.

"You ***** ****** *****! Don't you 'Nishiki' me. You dirty rag!" The words did nothing to soothe the eruption inside him. They only made it bubble and burst as more hate and death rose.

Her face jerked back a his language. He cussed, but never at her. You didn't cuss at a real lady.

"Nishiki," she said again- and he wanted to reach out and smack her, but his hands wee occupied with holding his guts inside, to say nothing of the way the volcano quieted when she looked at him like that. "What's wrong? You-you're hurt."

She reached out with small, gentle hands, but he batted them away. His rage was too great to be overly placated. The volcano in his belly roared to life in indignation, how dare she act like she didn't know!

"What's wrong?" He asked, raising his voice an octave in a rough imitation. "Oh, I don't know, why don't you tell me?" Nishiki stepped forward, moving his impressive, albeit injured, form to loom over her petite frame.

For a moment, Nishiki though he saw fear flash in her eyes- making the mountain in his stomach curdle for an ignored reason- but it was gone quickly as she simply tilted her head up to meet his gaze. Her posture is calm, almost collected. A mind of sharp diamond wit, a backbone of steel alloy. It's why he likes her. Liked.

Too bad. She had been just his type.

She frowned at him, lips coming together in an expression he usually like to irritate out of her. "I don't know why you're angry with me, but yelling at me without telling me why won't solve anything."

How like her, always trying to solve their problems, like her chemistry equations. Cute.

His lip pulled back to show his teeth as he leaned forward further, looming that much more. She still didn't flinch, staring him down with pools of serenity for eyes.

"Angry, I'm not angry, honey, I'm ******* furious. I wasn't enough, was I? You're such a worthless ****** ****** ****** that you had to go looking for it somewhere else. You ******* cheating ********!"

Her expression clears a little, but her eyebrows draw even closer together. "Ni'," he bares more teeth at her use of such an affectionate nickname, "I have never cheated on you. Not once have I looked at another man."

His hands are suddenly around her throat, but the only reason he notices, is because of the new twinges of lightning in his gut. His rage is too great. The mountain cannot contain the burning betrayal that spews out, now through his arms and hands.

His face is inches from her own, something in him both crows and withers at seeing, finally, the fear rising into the forefront of her eyes. "I saw you," he breathes.

Louder, when she says nothing, just stares at him with those wonderfully, awful fear filled eyes, Nishiki continues, "I saw you with them. At the school. I smelt them on you after the first time you went to see them. You have the gall to lie to my face, when I have seen you sneak out to meet them in that lab with my own eyes!"

By the end of his accusation, the steel has hidden the fear again, and her hands grip his own as she pulls them away from her neck- he lets her, because there's a part of him that fears her fear. Beneath his hands, red skin is revealed and he knows it will bruise. She always bruises easy. It makes hickies fun.

"I have never lied to you. I am not unfaithful, Ni'."

Nishiki moves his hands away from her smaller ones to plant them on the wall behind her, trapping her as his eyes sought her face for falsehood. "Then what were you doing at all hours of the night, Kimi, with two male freshmen. I saw you go into the lab with the two of them and close all the blinds and doors. Whatever you were doing, you didn't want anyone else to know, otherwise you would have told me."

Her face seems to freeze for a moment before she meets his eyes again. "I can't tell you that, but I would never be unfaithful to you." He could see it in her eyes, a message only he could see.

But it wasn't enough. Nishiki had been double crossed too many times to take a bare word from someone, even her.

"If you can't tell me, then there's only one thing it could be, Kimi!"

"But it's not, Nishiki! It's just not my secret to tell!"

"Obviously, it means more to you than I do." The words taste bitter in his mouth. Nishiki turned away to walk out the door, the volcano suddenly silent and sulking smokily, all out of fire.

"Wait!" Kimi reached out and desperately snagged his sleeve, ignoring the red staining her pale hands.

Nishiki turned back to look her in the eye, a warm flicker of hope kindling in his chest somewhere.

"If I tell you... If I tell you, you can't tell anyone. Swear to me, you won't tell anyone!" Her eyes are pleading, and it makes the fire crackle in his lungs.

Nishiki never breaks eye contact as he says, "All your secrets are written on my heart, remember?" It was something they had started saying to each other as a joke and somehow now it was truth.

She stared into his eyes, and he imagined he could see a silent war raging when he looked back. Apparently, one side won out because suddenly a torrent had been unleashed and Kimi's words sprang forth. However, even as Kimi spoke, Nishiki was shaking his head. The story she told him, how there was a boy surgically given the parts of a ghoul and transformed, most likely for life, into a half-ghoul was beyond belief. Maybe by itself, Nishiki might have held out the olive branch and asked for some kind of proof. But, the next part, how Kimi was synthesizing a food for the young half-ghoul was simply not true. It couldn't be. There was just no way a couple of teens and a med student could solve a mystery that was literally unsolvable. The greatest minds in the world had pitted themselves against such a problem and even those had been thwarted. It simply couldn't be done.

At the end of her story, Kimi was gasping for breath, clearly emotional. She stared at him with expectant eyes.

Nishiki stared calmly back as he lifted a palm to cup her cheek, as he would often do. Kimi closed her eyes and leaned into the touch, interpreting it as affection. She was very unprepared when he slapped her.

Nishiki drew away, looking down on her with cold eyes. "You know, you could just tell the truth, *****. Or at least feed me a believable lie. The fact that you just told me that **** and expected me to believe it is insulting. How stupid do you think I am? Goodbye, Kimi, have fun with your new boy toys."

Then, Nishiki turned and walked away, out the door and out of Kimi's life.

* * *

Touka

Touka stared down at her nails. They needed to be trimmed. Unfortunately, instead of trimming her nails, he she was waiting outside one of the guest rooms, waiting for the manager to come out. A commotion outside had woken her and she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep unless she knew what it was. Darn nerves.

She'd already been sitting there an hour and a half when the door finally opened. Touka tilted her head to peer into the room. She caught a glimpse of blond, before the manager shifted to block her view. He gave her a knowing look, which she met un-repentantly. She was nosy, but she at least wouldn't lie about it. Besides, she lived here, so she should at least know the happenings of her own home, right?

The manager sighed and closed the door once Koma had also exited. Touka got up off the floor to follow him into the little kitchenette. She knew she wouldn't get her answers until they both got a soothing cup of coffee.

He stalls for a few minutes as he heats the water and starts to fix the coffee. Touka sits patiently at the little table. As long as she can out stubborn the old man, she would get her answers. It takes a little while, but soon enough, Yoshimura is seated across from her, two cups of steaming coffee between them.

"What can I help you with at this hour, young Touka?" The manager asks, despite already knowing why she's awake at who knew what time.

Since he already knows, she may as well get straight to the point. "Why is there a human and a stranger here?"

"Ahhh," the manager says as he folds his hands serenely on the table. "You never have liked outsiders. Seems they always manage to ruffle your feathers."

Touka doesn't let him turn her around with his evasion. "They don't belong here. Why are they still here? Does the human know?"

"The whole purpose of Anteiku is to provide a safe haven to those in need, Touka. We couldn't turn them away."

"Yes, you could!" Touka hisses. "Easily. Why are they still here?"

The old man gives her one of his half smiles, where he knows something she doesn't. "Why Touka, you can't be so cold hearted to your new co-workers."

"My what!?" Snarls Touka.

"Your new co-workers," replied Yoshimura, as though it was a normal answer, for a normal question. Like he didn't just decide to hire a lamb in a pit of wolves. Like butter wouldn't melt on his tongue.

"You can't hire a human! Maybe a ghoul, once they've proven that we can trust them, but we can never trust a human! They're not like us. They're different."

To Touka's surprise, Yoshimura seems to wilt a little at her claims. A sadness enters his eyes, the likes of which Touka recognizes from her own loss. "One day," says the manager, "You will know why what you say is so sad and wrong, Touka. But, today, just know that I am the one hiring them, not you." And my opinion is the one that matters, went unsaid.

But Touka is a stubborn, smart girl, so she keeps arguing, "Okay, fine. But, even beyond trustworthiness, the human won't last a week. He'll end up as someone's after coffee snack. Then, the CCG will rain down like hail and we'll all be in trouble."

The manager smiles at her, the sadness vanishing as he replies, "While I applaud your concern for your fellow employee's health, I assure you, we have everything taken care of. Young Hideki will not be on shift by himself and the older employees will keep an eye on him to keep him from ever being anywhere alone."

"But, but you can't just expect us all to cover for him. It's so much trouble over just one human. It inconveniences everyone."

"As a matter of fact, I can expect you to look after him if I ask you to, especially if you are on the clock, young Touka. Now, I'm not getting any younger these days and it is certainly not an appropriate hour for such a young lady as yourself to be up and about with school tomorrow morning. I bid you a goodnight and I assume you will retire shortly."

Touka knows she's crossed a line somewhere already, if he's giving her that look, but she can't help but throw a last parting shot over her shoulder as she gets up and walks away, "I may have to babysit them on the clock, but I don't have to be nice to them."

Behind her, still seated at the table, she hears the manager sigh.


	16. Ch 15

Ch 15

The world was pain. It wasn't all consuming, soul devouring pain, but somehow, for Kaneki, that made it worse, because he had no excuse to roll over and go back to sleep. And he really wanted to go back to sleep. His internal clock was telling him it was still early in the morning, plenty of time to get ready for class if he had it this day, and not enough time spent sleeping.

Definitely not enough time spent sleeping if his head was beating like a drum. Like Skillet's drummer was playing a solo just for his brain. Somehow, Kaneki didn't feel very special.

But, despite the headache, Kaneki was never one to sleep in. If he woke up after 5 AM, then it was time to start the day.

Except, when Kaneki opened his eyes, he found himself in a bed, not a futon, overlooking a room that definitely wasn't his.

And, if memories served, Kaneki should have woken up in a hospital.

If he woke up at all.

Kaneki was about half a flip from panicking when he caught sight of Hide's distinctive blond mane. His dearest friend was lying on a futon just a few feet from Kaneki's bed, peacefully sleeping. If Hide could sleep, they obviously weren't in trouble. Hide would be wired if they were actually in any danger. Adrenaline seemed to work like caffeine on Hide, keeping him energetic and focused.

Kaneki forced himself to sit up, despite the numerous protests released by his sore body. He couldn't help but notice that the aches and pains were not nearly as bad as they should have been. Part of his ghoul side could have manifested in accelerated healing, like some ghouls had. Kaneki noted it away to poke at later.

Once sitting, Kaneki had visual access to the window view near the bed. It look out over a familiar street from a second story height. Kaneki sighed, a sliver of unease snaking through his gut. This was where he met her. Rise. And how he almost died. It was a little unnerving to be here again.

Kaneki found himself checking the room for a hidden predator, despite knowing Hide would not have been sleeping if there was one.

Fabric rustled as Hide stirred. Kaneki grinned in relief as his friend sat up, obviously mostly unharmed- he seemed a bit stiff, but if it was just dark bruises as Kaneki suspected, then they would both live. Hide mumbled softly, only half awake as he sat up and looked around. Seeing Hide glance around reminded Kaneki that he and his aniki were in foreign territory.

Kaneki reached out and gently poked Hide in the shoulder. A few more successive pokes and Hide was lucid enough to be coherent. Once Hide's eyes were focused one him, Kaneki asked softly, "Hide, where are we?"

Hide blinked and glanced around the room again, as though checking there was no one there. "We're in the coffee shop, Anteiku, on the upper floor. We... We were brought here late last night after the fight with that bat crap crazy psychopath. Kaneki, they're ghouls."

Kaneki's eyes widened and were it not for their attempt at secrecy, he would have started panicking. As it was, his breath hitched in his chest almost painfully and his heart rate kicked up a notch as he tried not to remember hungry eyes and painful teeth. This was not safe. This was not safe and Aniki was here, too.

Kaneki scanned the room again, this time making not of all the exits and entrances. He would probably need them very soon. If anything bad happened, he could just pick up Hide and jump through the window- Kaneki was getting to be very strong and, despite his injuries, he was sure the panic of escaping from hungry predators would lend him wings. And ghouls scared him much more than a second story drop ever could. (Although now, there was a tiny voice in his head that reminded him of a shy girl in a library who liked to read. His terror told that voice to shut up.)

"And Kaneki," Hide continued, his tone of voice making Kaneki stop breathing altogether- because he could not imagine how it could get worse-, "they know you're part ghoul. They can smell the difference and they saw part of your fight."

And for a moment Kaneki swore his heart stopped beating too, cause, yeah, it just got worse. A lot worse. So much worse Kaneki found himself wondering how they even woke up at all this morning, let alone well enough to be having this conversation.

Because, if a human's reaction was likely to be rejection, how much more so would a ghoul? At least with a human, Kaneki was a part of their world and community. They had morals and beliefs in common. Kaneki doubted he had anything in common with the bloodthirsty killers that were probably holding them hostage. Kaneki was an outsider intruding into their world.

However, before the claws of panic could fully seize his mind, Kaneki was pulled loose by the firm grip of his brother's hands on his arms. Hide had sat up on his knees and was smiling reassuringly at Kaneki. Kaneki was tempted to keep panicking but years of being reassured by that smile had conditioned him to be more relaxed when it made an appearance. That smile wouldn't be there if they weren't at least a little safe.

"It's okay, Kaneki. I think these are good ghouls," said Hide.

Kaneki opened his mouth and shut it. He didn't know what to say to that, so he wordlessly shook his head.

"Just, hear me out," Hide pleaded, giving Kaneki that smile again, the one that conquered the daytime terrors. "They haven't killed us, or even hurt us. And, they definitely could have. If they meant us any real harm, they've had more than enough time to hurt us. I- I think they just want to make sure we stay quiet. And... Maybe... Even help us?"

Kaneki jerked his head back, replying with a sharp, "What?!"

Hide shushed him, worriedly glancing at the door. Kaneki froze, his gaze resting on the door as well. After a few seconds, they both relaxed, Kaneki's exclamatory remark hadn't been enough to draw the attention of their hosts.

"If they're so friendly, why are we whispering and hiding from them?" Asked Kaneki.

"Weeelll..." said Hide. "I kind of told them a bunch of bogus and fake names, so they can't hunt us down or anything. So, it's like we're safe, but we're not safe. You're Kenichi, and I'm Hideki. We're friends since forever, but a few weeks ago, three and a half, you were captured for a short amount of time, before you were released. Once you were released, you couldn't remember much about your captors and you were different."

Kaneki blinked, taking all this in. He couldn't help but find himself in awe over Hide's impromptu brilliance and quick thinking. If it came down to it, Kaneki doubted he could do the same. Hide was always amazing Kaneki like this. The blond may act average, or less than average, but then, when you least expected it, he had unnervingly good gut instinct. It was almost uncanny, the way Hide could just look at a person sometimes and be able to tell you everything about them, down to their favorite color. Hide knew people, could play people.

Like Hide was playing these ghouls. Even if these ghouls did indeed mean no harm, it would be a teetering see-saw to keep it that way. The cover-story was neatly vague, so it should be easy enough not to slip up. Kaneki would just have to pretend he was in a play again, except there were no lines, just rules. If it weren't for the soul-crushing fear of either one of them slipping up- and them both being eaten- trolling the Anteiku ghouls could even be fun.

"So, just play it cool, okay?" Asked Hide. "It'll be fine, all you have to do is follow my lead, and if they ask you about what happened, act like the traumatized cinnamon roll that you are."

Kaneki frowned. "Follow your lead? Wait! Cinnamon what?"

Hide made calming motions with his hands as he tilted his head to the door, where a shadow was falling. The shadow grew larger and Kaneki became aware of footsteps drawing nearer. The metal door knob squeaked as it turned, lending voice to the opening of the door.

Kaneki was tempted to lean back when he saw who was in the doorway. That hair was intimidating. Who had that much hair gel to spare anyways? Or the time to style it up like that. And, hey, the guy's nose was kind of sized to match. Big hair, big nose.

Kaneki met his eyes and somehow felt the hairs on the back of his neck- standing to attention since he'd woken up in a strange place with no weapon- lie flat. The man's eyes were soft and friendly. He seemed like he could be dangerous- one didn't get callouses like those from making coffee- but he didn't mean any harm to Aniki or to himself. It was a surprising conclusion to arrive at.

"Rise and shine, kiddos." Even the man's voice was free of malice or hidden spite. The man- no, ghoul, according to the lack of tempting scent- lifted a tray burdened with an assortment of dishes. "I brought you breakfast, courtesy of Anteiku's bakery."

Hide grinned uncertainly at the ghoul. He said, "Thanks Mr. Koma, we appreciate it."

Koma turned away as he placed the tray on the table and began to arrange the dishes and silverware. Kaneki could still hear Koma's smile through his words as he said, "It's no trouble at all. Yomo and Irimi are already doing the day's food prep downstairs, anyways. A few extra morsels to cook won't really matter in the grand scheme of things. And, please, just call me, Koma. We are going to be working together after all."

Kaneki shot a surprised look at Hide to see his friend rising from the futon on the floor. Hide smiled another reassuring smile and said, "Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you, Kenichi. The manager, Mr. Yoshi, offered us jobs, too."

Kaneki wanted to balk- once they left the lions' den, they would have to come back!?- but instead, he shifted up onto his feet, a little gingerly as he was reminded of last night's activity, and followed Hide's lead.

As Kaneki took his seat, he also took a moment to observe the spread of dishes on the table. In front of Hide were the most. There was a plate of muffins and croissants along with an assortment of other pastries. To its left, a beautifully crated omelet perched on its own plate, bacon resting on top of it. Yet another plate boasted sliced avocado and cooked spinach.

In comparison, Koma's own place was almost completely bare. He only had a cup of coffee. He seemed pleased by it however, as he sat down and immediately started downing it like the elixir of life. Kaneki had a cup of coffee, but he also had a covered plate. Kaneki took curious sip of coffee, wondering what they had put on the plate. It wasn't like he could eat anything. Perhaps they had devised some kind of smoothie equivalent? It would make sense, ghouls had been living with the diet problem for a very long time, much longer than Kaneki had. If Kaneki had solved the riddle of food in two months, it couldn't be too far a leap to assume that an entire race of sentient beings had also cracked the riddle.

Setting his coffee down, Kaneki curiously peeked the lid up.

And froze.


	17. Ch16

Ch 16

The sight of it was more of a giveaway than the smell. After all, what other kind of meat would a ghoul give to another ghoul? It felt like being sucker punched right in the gut. Luckily, Kaneki wasn't hungry- not really, thanks to the shakes- but it was still a wake up call he would have rather slept through. It did smell good, though, which was disturbing. In a dark place in Kaneki's mind, he wondered what part of the human body it really was.

And he really needed to read less morbid books, if this is where it was leading him.

Kaneki must have been sitting still for too long, because the lid was slammed down of the gruesome breakfast and Hide had pulled their chairs together, one arm around his shoulder. Hide wrapped Kaneki up in a side hug while he stared at Koma with disbelief written upon his face. "What are you doing?!" Hissed Hide.

Koma seemed very surprised by Hide and Kaneki's reaction. To Kaneki, as he noticed absently, it seemed like the poor older man didn't quite know what he had done wrong. The look of hurt surprised on his face didn't seem to belong.

Distantly Kaneki realized his hands were shaking and he couldn't seem to get enough air.

Oh. Panic attack. No wonder Hide was so mad.

Koma seemed to notice, too, because he jerked and looked guiltily between the covered plate and Kaneki. His hands rose up as though to do something, but they dropped purposelessly a second later. "What-what. Is he okay? I am so sorry! I didn't know that would happen."

Hide growled and his eyes flashed at the ghoul. "No, he's not okay, you just tried to get him to eat a dead person! Take that away!"

"Yeah, yeah sure!" Koma drew away quickly, grabbing the covered dish and fleeing the room, leaving Hide to try to fix Kaneki.

"Hey, hey, hey," said Hide, trying to get Kaneki's attention from where ever his mind had fled.

Kaneki blinked and focused large gray eyes on his aniki. Now that the not so mystery meat was out of the picture, his world looked a little less gray and swirly. The colors were starting to bleed back in again.

Kaneki tried to smile, but he had the feeling that it came out more like a grimace. Hide smiled back regardless of awkward grimaces, trying to lead his friend back into a better mind set. This was not the first time Kaneki had a panic attack. As his loyal friend and self-appointed older brother, Hide took it upon himself to always be there for support when this kind of thing happened. Not that it happened often, Kaneki preferred to keep his breakdowns to himself, behind closed doors.

He was a very quiet little brother.

Hide resolved to get him a girlfriend- human, this time, Hide would get Kimi to run a test- the next time they went out. His brother needed a little noise.

Thankfully, this wasn't a long fit. Kaneki probably wouldn't be in the best of moods for the rest of the day, but he would be able to function.

Hide slid Kaneki's cup of coffee over to him and Kaneki gratefully took it, wrapping his pale fingers around the warm ceramic. Hide babbled softly about meaningless things, anything,

Kaneki sipped at the coffee and just listened, slowly letting the tension- FEAR, REVULSION, DISGUST- roll on through and out. Sometimes, things just happened. As upsetting as they were, they still happened and he would keep moving, because fritzing out about the things that happened wouldn't ever change them.

Thankfully, the rest of the duo's breakfast was finished in came in as they finished, flanked by Koma, who began to clear away the dishes. Yoshimura took a seat across from Kaneki and Hide, folding his hands on the table.

"Good Morning, young Hideki, young Kenichi. Did you sleep well?" Yoshimura asked.

Kaneki was slightly put off by the name-change, so it was Hide who answered. "Yes, sir. We slept very well, thanks."

Kaneki almost froze as he heard the words coming out of his friend's mouth. Never in his life had he ever heard Hide speak like that. The boy wasn't rude or crass, but normally he wasn't so polite or charming. Kaneki supposed Hide's grandmother must have succeeded in beating Some manners into him. Even if they only came out when he was trying to manipulate someone.

Hide's granny would be proud- wily, old spit-fire that she was.

Yoshimura nodded and said, "That's very good, a well rested body is a happy one. Although," the manager turned his sage-like gaze onto Kaneki with concern, "I heard from good Mr. Koma that there was some confusion over breakfast. Are you quite alright?"

This was definitely addressed to Kaneki, so he answered it as best and most honestly as he could. "I'm alright. It's just- I-I don't eat that."

Somehow, Kaneki found himself suddenly unable to hold the elderly ghoul's eyes and dropped his chin, so he was staring at his hands instead. Kaneki could feel the pressure of the gaze that continued to rest on his thin frame, seemingly to measure him. He wondered what it saw, whether he passed whatever test those eyes were placing him under.

Yoshimura spoke to Kaneki regardless of whether he would meet his eyes, "I understand that in your situation, the prospect of eating a ghoul's regular diet may seem daunting."

Hide fidgeted off to the side, wanting to jump in, but he held off. Kaneki did need to fight his own battles someday. And the manager wasn't one that would hurt him.

"However," the manager continued, "If you don't adapt and persevere into your new life, there will be consequences." Both Hide and Kaneki tensed, would the old man force Kaneki to eat?

"A ghoul's hunger is a horrible, terrifying force. It is a consuming, terrible lust for flesh that in its intensity and singlemindedness is unable to be sated by anything else on this Earth. One may subdue it, buy a little time by using coffee and our own 'mystery cubes', but it comes forth unrelenting, unstoppable. If you don't sate your hunger, it will get the better of you, to the detriment of those you hold dear."

Kaneki lifted his eyes to see Yoshimura direct his own gaze to Hide, loyal as ever at Kaneki's side.

The familiar stone of cold fear dropped into Kaneki's stomach as the manager uprooted buried anxieties. If Kaneki hurt Hide... What if Kaneki tried to eat-

No! No! That wouldn't happen. Kaneki had his protein smoothies. He hadn't had any issues with hunger since he started eating them. He was doing _better_. Kaneki forced a lid onto the coffin where he kept his fears, the ones his big brother helped him to lay to rest, and pushed it back into the dirt. He wouldn't hurt Hide. It just wouldn't happen.

Kaneki met the manager's eyes again, gathering his brother's presence, confidence, and support and donning it as armor. "I understand," Kaneki said, "but I cannot do that. I know that for ghouls, this is a way of life, neither right or wrong, it just is. But to me, it is to drop my standards and commit a wrong that I would never be able to return from. My moral compass is different from yours. If I did this, I would be doing something wrong."

Yoshimura furrowed his eyebrows, a frown twisting his wizened, old face. "You just said that you understand that for a ghoul, eating flesh is not a wrong thing. Young man, you are now, at least in part, a ghoul. Doesn't this also apply to you?"

"My morals have nothing to do with my species, sir. I see it as wrong. If I did it anyways, even if it were permissible, I would be wearing down my won sense of right and wrong. It would still bother me and I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

Yoshimura slowly nodded, accepting Kaneki's answer, for now. "I see. I don't agree with you, young man, but I will not force you. Now, I'm sure Hideki has likely told you, but last night you both were involved in an altercation, before a few associates of mine rescued the two of you and brought you here. Hideki told us the gist of the attack, but were there any details that stood out you, did you perhaps recognize your attacker or maybe guess why he was attacking you?"

Kaneki lowered his head, shaking it. Traumatized cinnamon roll, traumatized cinnamon roll. "I-I'm sorry, sir. After he attacked, it was all a blur. I-I though we were going to die.."

It's surprising how easy the buried fear comes back up when Kaneki lets it. Makes his voice tremble and his eyes turn glassy. He really should get back into theater.

Yoshimura's smile turned exceptionally kind as he reached out a wrinkled, gnarled old hand to pat Kaneki's in comfort. "That's alright.. It's not your fault, adrenaline blurs even that best of our memories. You're safe here."

Kaneki looked into the old ghoul's kind eyes, seeing sincerity, and despite the guilt hiding in his gut for all the lies, he realizes that it does feel safe. 'Anteiku' meaning, 'our place.'

It must be a safe place for ghouls, he reasoned.

It felt nice.

Hide, Kaneki, and the manager all jerked when a sudden bout of yelling from down stairs broke out. The manager sighed and stood. "Looks like Koma has managed to trip into Touka's quick temper, again. I'd best be going. Now, boys, some fresh clothes have been laid out in the hall outside, I'm sure you must be off to class or some such thing. You can use the back door if you don't feel like walking through the storefront, which ever suits you. Come back in a few days, we can write up a shift schedule and order some uniforms when you do."

Yoshimura disappeared out the door rather quickly for a man his age. With nothing else to do, Hide and Kaneki got ready and headed home, both with a head full of thoughts on their new allies.

* * *

"We're going," said Kaneki suddenly as he was grilling bread for Hide's grilled cheese.

Hide perked up from his newest D Gray Man novel. He hadn't known Allen could play the piano...

"Where, now?" Asked Hide

"To the CCG convention. In a few days." Kaneki answered.

Hide sat up completely, novel forgotten. "I though you didn't want to go."

"I didn't. To be honest, I still don't. But, I realized something."

"What did you realize? When?" Asked Hide. They had just gotten back from Anteiku a few hours ago. They had not gone to class...

"During the fight. And a bit after it, to be honest... I started thinking," said Kaneki.

"Oh, boy," joked Hide, which Kaneki ignored.

"We could've, would've died."

Hide sobered quickly, all hint of laughter fleeing in the face of such morbid thoughts. "Well," he said, "Yeah, we would have, I guess."

Kaneki's fist connected with the countertop en force. Hide silently sent up a thanks that his friend wasn't strong enough yet to bust granite. Keyword being 'yet.'

"And there was nothing we could do, Hide. Nothing! It's not enough to hide. It's not enough to be satisfied because one problem is fixed. If we want to survive, we need to be proactive. We need to address things, like combat with other ghouls and the CCG before it becomes a problem. Otherwise, when it finally is, we won't have time to figure it out."

Hide stared over the counter at his friend. "That's... That's deep, man. I agree. We do need to be doing more. That thing with the crazy ghoul and Anteiku, we're just kind of coasting on their goodwill. As kind as they seem, that's not dependable. We need to be able to depend on our selves."

Kaneki reached out with one fist. "To the CCG?," he asked.

Hide met him in a classic bro fist bump. "To the CCG," he agreed.

* * *

 **AN: Hi, guys! glad to be able to get this chapter out finally. I don't know if Y'all noticed, but I did kind of goof. I misread my chapter planner and I wrote the wrong chapter first, instead of the normal chapter 14, I wrote chapter 15 and posted it as chapter 14 a few months ago. well, when it came time for me to write chapter 15, I realized that I completely skipped a chapter! So I had to fix that. Those of you that haven't already, you should check chapter 14, make sure that you've read it. Some people got confoozled when I fixed it, cause it looks like I updated a new chapter, but I really replaced one and reposted another. So, if you checked chapter 15 last time I updated and noticed that it was the same chapter as last time, that's cause it's the same chapter as last time. The new chapter was chapter 14.  
**

 **Also, I rewatched most of season 1 with my friends and I've seen that season too many times to take it seriously, despite all the gore etc. So, the entire time we anime binged, I kept making very morbid/ funny jokes and complained about certain character's eyebrows or fashion sense. needless to say, I don't think my friends took it seriously either.**

 **Special thanks to erebororbust for the kindest, most awesome review I have ever been given! And thanks so much to all the other awesome reviewers! I love you guys!**


	18. Ch 17

Ch 17

Kimi

It was pathetic, really. How much her life revolved one person. Her sun. Her star. The center of her orbit. The light of her life. She could wax on, but it wouldn't change how she felt. Empty, cold, devoid of life like a planet when its star disappears. Which, she supposed, wasn't too far from the truth.

He was gone. And she was too smart to delude herself that he would ever come back.

He was a ghoul, so he was probably used to swapping identities at a moment's notice. She wouldn't be able to track him down. He hadn't taken anything of his with him, not the extra clothes or his coffee that he kept at the apartment. Instead he took something of hers. He stole- but she had really given it to him- a piece of her heart. The one from the very center, next to the empty place that used to hold her brother and parents. Her most treasured piece and he took it.

Another sob racked her chest for the umpteenth time. Though sunlight danced through the window shades and birds sang its melody outside, she felt like a storm was raging within her self. She had been here on the floor since last night. He had left and she barely had the strength to close the door. It was mid afternoon and she had yet to move. She might have dozed for a few hours, but even dozing, her dreams offered her no peace. They were all of him.

She looked around her apartment again. Still too empty. Still too full of his things, but not him.

Suddenly, she couldn't stand to stay here, not by herself. Her legs ached from finally moving after so long being still, but she was numb to it. Kimi had the mind to put on shoes, grab her purse, and lock the door behind her, but anything further, like make up or brushing her hair was beyond her. Where she was going, no one would care anyways.

Kaneki

"So, how does it taste?" Kaneki asked, twisting the hem of his shirt nervously, no longer being able to taste food made him nervous about how it tasted. What if he served food that tasted like crap, just because he couldn't smell or taste the seasonings?

Hide grinned from across the table, mouth full of grilled cheese.

"It tastes like I died and ascended to cheese heaven," answered Hide. "How do you manage to get the holy ratio of cheese, butter, and bread just right, Kaneki?"

Kaneki rolled his eyes. "I dunno, I just kind of dump it all together and pray it tastes right."

Hide sighs as he bites into the gooey grilled cheese. How could his little brother be so humble about what- in Hide's opinion- was the greatest accomplishment of mankind.

A knock sounded, disrupting the quiet, restful moment.

Kaneki frowned- aside from Hide, he rarely got visitors. Getting a visitor directly after the mess behind Anteiku felt suspicious. Kaneki met Hide's eyes across the table.

"Doves?" mouthed Hide.

Kaneki shook his head. They hadn't had any contact with the ghoul hunters. Surely, they couldn't know who Kaneki was. And if they did, he felt like they wouldn't knock on the door.

"Stay here," whispered Kaneki as he rose silently.

Hide- of course- didn't listen, though he did stay a few steps behind Kaneki as Kaneki made his way to the door.

Kaneki frowned as he pushed himself onto his toes. Why did the peep-hole on the apartment door have to be so tall? Asian people were normally a little slighter in build, there was no need to have tall peep-holes. No one could see into them.

When Kaneki did manage to look through the little window, he was greeted with a familiar face.

Kaneki unlocked the door and swung it open. Kimi stood still in the doorway, her thin form eclipsed by the early morning light.

Then, the moment broken, she throws herself forward, a sobbing mess, into the arms of the two boys. Kaneki awkwardly wrapped his arms around her bony shoulders, letting her lean on him as he started walking backwards, intent on setting her down on the couch. Hide grabbed the door, glancing to see an empty apartment complex, before shutting and locking it securely behind them.

Kaneki set Kimi gently on the couch, pulling away from her to place a fuzzy throw over her shoulders. Glancing over to Hide, Kaneki asked, "Can you grab the tea pot off of the counter, and some cups?"

Kaneki turned back to Kimi, setting himself gingerly, on the couch to the side. She was still crying, tears staining her usually bright face. At least she was starting to slow down. Kaneki desperately wanted to help his friend, but at the same time, crying girls were not in his skill repertoire. Especially Kimi. She had to be one of the smartest, toughest, most put together people Kaneki knew. He wouldn't even pretend to know what to do in that moment.

Luckily, Hide was quickly bustling back from the kitchen, tea and cups in hand. Kaneki distracted himself by pouring a cup and gently wrapping Kimi's hands around the ceramic surface of the cup. Her sobs subsided as the warmth from the tea, freshly brewed for Hide's lunch, sank into her small hands.

When Kaneki thought she had stopped crying enough, he asked, "Kimi, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"

Kimi sniffed, staring into her cup of tea. "No," she answered.

Hide settled himself softly on the sofa, on Kimi's other side, bracketing the crying woman in support between the two of them. "Then what's wrong?" Hide asked.

Kimi stayed silent for a moment, but her lips eventually formed a quiet answer. "He left me."

Kaneki frowned, memories of the previous night coming back. The ghoul had said that he knew Kimi. Still, he asked, "Who left you, Kimi?"

"Him, Nishi."

Hide bit his lip before asking, "Who is Nishi? Wait, do you mean Nishiki Nishio, the upperclassman?"

Kimi nodded, looking up to meet Hide's eyes for the first time. "My boyfriend," she said. "He said that I was lying to him, that I cheated on him."

Hide and Kaneki shared a glance, both making the connection with the possessive dirtbag they'd fought the night before.

Kimi continued on, oblivious. "He's the reason! For everything! He's why I started helping you. I wanted to make it possible for us to stay together. Even after he knew that I knew. I wanted him to stay forever."

Kaneki said softly, " He's a ghoul. Isn't he? That's why you needed our research to work. You wanted to give it to him, too."

Kimi nodded wordlessly, shaking as she tried to stop herself from devolving into tears again. Hide gently raised a hand to rub circles into upper back. She reached out to both of them, pulling them into a hug for support, her sobbing resumed.

"You probably think I'm a horrible person," she hiccuped. "I lied to you about why I was helping. I was going to give your research, and therefore your secret, away with you none the wiser."

Kaneki drew back from the hug, causing her to look up at him. He was calm, face serene, not angry like she feared. "No," said Kaneki, "I think it makes you very kind."

Kaneki looked at Kimi with a soft expression on his face. "I'm sad that you didn't think that you could trust us. But I think wanting to help a loved one, no matter who they are, is never wrong. Besides, it would be very hypocritical of me to condemn you for helping someone when I have been so grateful that you help me."

"You're not mad, at all?"

"No, we're not mad, Kimi. We're a little bit roughed up from last night, but other than that, we're fine."

"Oh, oh, that's good," said Kimi, softly. She frowned, noticing the bruises littering her two friends and the dark bags under their eyes. "Wait! What happened last night?"

Hide huffed. "Oh, not much. Just almost got shanked by your psychotic boyfriend. Nothing too serious."

Kimi gasped, her eyes flying open wide, as she almost dropped her full cup of tea. On her other side, Kaneki growled out, "Hide! Show a little empathy! Kimi's really upset about it."

Hide backed down, but still muttered, "Yeah, but she's upset over the same guy that tried to end us last night."

Kimi's eyes were as large as dinner plates. "What did he do?" she asked, voice soft and small.

Kaneki leveled a glare at Hide, trying to keep his tactless friend quiet while he came up with a diplomatic way to explain the events of the night previous.

"Last night," began Kaneki. "We were taking the back alleys home, as a short cut. However, about halfway home, we were stopped by a hooded man. He claimed that we had wronged him by stealing his girl. He then attacked us, during which he revealed himself to be a ghoul."

Kimi brought her hands up to her mouth. She wanted to claim that her Nishiki wouldn't do that, but as much as she loved the man, she recognized that he did indeed have flaws. One of them was his hair trigger temper.

Kaneki paused, preparing for the next part. How to explain to someone the concept of Anteiku? The term 'good man-eater' probably wouldn't go over too well. Oh well, here goes. " He probably would have killed us, except for the intervention of a third party of ghouls. This third party runs a coffee shop, the one called Anteiku. They are a group of non-hostile ghouls who claim to provide a way for ghouls to have access to human flesh without resorting to murder."

Kimi's eyebrows rose into her hair, Kaneki could see the gears working in her head, fascinated by the concept of peaceful ghoul group behavior, despite her fear of the predators.

"The Anteiku ghouls frightened the ghoul- who I'm assuming is your boyfriend- away. They offered shelter to Hide and I, though I was unconscious, and let us stay the night before sending us away in the morning. We think they want to help, but, naturally, we're wary of them. We gave them fake names and a fake story to go with them. They think that I am 'Kenichi' and Hide is 'Hideki' and that my transformation into a ghoul involved a kidnapping. They want to introduce me into the ghoul world, I think. Hide and I are supposed to work part time there as a way to stay close and under their protection….. they also want me, or rather, expect me to eat human flesh.."

Kaneki looked down at his own still steaming cup of tea while admitting the last part. He had yet, despite his condition, been forced to partake in his new species' diet. Somehow, as long as he didn't take that final step, he could pretend that it wasn't real, that he wasn't like that, and everything was normal, okay, just peachy.

Despite the Anteiku ghouls reassuring him that it was natural and that no living humans were harmed to procure their food, Kaneki couldn't bring himself to accept it. It felt like he would be accepting everything he had lost and would never be able to find his way back to who he was. Although, after the fight last night, and everything else that had happened since that night with Rize, Kaneki was beginning to realize he might not be able to go back to being the shy, frightened book worm again, regardless. He had grown as a person, regardless of all the negative stimulus, he was finding new depths of strength, compassion, and bravery in himself that he didn't think he had been capable of before.

Sometimes it takes a flood to learn to dance in the rain.

"Does it bother you?" Asked Kimi.

"Does what bother me?" Kaneki asked back.

"What they have to eat."

Kaneki thought about his answer. "I don't know," he finally answered, "I start to get upset over it, or at least, that's what I would have done two months ago. But, now? Now that I know what their lives are like, at least a little? I can't bring myself to judge them, when I'm now walking in their shoes. To be honest, if I didn't have you guys, I don't know what I'd do. I think it just really makes me sad. That they have to resort to something like that. I think I understand why they do some of the things they do now."

Kaneki grimaced as he continued, "After all, how do you live knowing your neighbor may have to be your next meal or the meal of your family, your children. Doesn't it make more sense, doesn't it hurt less if that person is no longer your neighbor? If that person is not a person at all, anymore. It would explain some of the things you hear on the news, about the things they do? Is it really so horrible, when your prey are just dumb animals? I think, in order to protect themselves from the hell they live in, that they disassociate humans from people. Like they tell themselves that it doesn't matter because humans aren't like them, they don't think or feel the same, so it doesn't matter."

"I think they know the truth. They just don't like it, and it's easier to live the lie. It would hurt less. The fact that Anteiku ghouls have admitted, at least to themselves, that humans are people too, it's a very selfless and brave thing to do. Facing up to the lie that keeps you comfortable is never easy. Even if we probably can't tell the Anteiku ghouls the whole truth, I think they are people with integrity."

Finishing with saying that, Kaneki blushed. He didn't mean to just go off on a spiel like that….

Kimi was frowning, her eyebrows furrowed. "You want to help them."

Kaneki looked up at Kimi and Hide. "I don't know," he said. "I think I do, but I also think that we don't know enough- about them, the CCG, ghouls as a whole. What if what I think will help only makes things worse. This- the conflict between ghouls and humans- has been going on for a really long time. I feel like if the answer was to give out free chemical smoothies, then someone would have done this ages ago."

"Probably," agreed Hide.

Kimi's eyes watered, like she was going to start crying again. "Do you think- do you think that Nishiki's like that. That he doesn't see me as a person, just as a possible meal?"

Kaneki blinked. He wasn't sure how to answer that. Luckily, Hide beat him to the punch.

"No," said Hide. "He's not like that. Or, at least not about you. He wouldn't be that hurt by the concept of you cheating on him if you were just a meal. To him, your loyalty meant enough that he was willing to try to fight two strangers of unknown threat level in an attempt to either gain your affections back or somehow defend your honor. Kimi, you were obviously not just a meal to him. He was really hurt by the idea that you would betray him. That's why he got so mad. And, if he did think of you as a meal, he wouldn't blow up at you and then leave you alive- certainly not with you knowing he's a ghoul."

Kimi did cry a little more, but they were tears of relief. "Do you think he'll ever come back?" she asked.

Hide's face clouded. "I don't know," he answered, "That's up to him at this point. From what it sounds like, you tried to tell him the truth and he didn't believe you?"

Kimi nodded.

"Then," continued Hide, "You did the best you could. You told the truth and him not believing you is not your fault. But, I have this feeling that we haven't seen the last of that dirt-bag. If he cared for you enough to let you risk his freedom and safety with what you know, then I don't think he'll be willing to forget you in a hurry."

"Really?"

"Really," answered Hide.

* * *

 **AN: sorry about the late update. I've been having a rough spring semester- again- I don't know why but the fall semester is a breeze, yet when I get to the spring semester of college, all my motivation flies away. Which is horrible, because I desperately need to make As in order to keep my scholarship. And, hopefully, eventually apply for med-school. I want to be a surgeon. At this rate, I'm wondering if I'll ever get there. Also, does anyone know which part of Nishiki Nishio's name is his first or last name? I want to have Kimi call him by his first name and the boys call him by his last name, but I don't know which is which.**

 **again, random kindness prompt- Take some time this week and put yourself in someone elses' shoes- like Kaneki has done in this chapter- try to understand what they're going through. Sometimes we can be pretty callous and rude even without meaning to just by not considering another person's situation.**

 **I love you all, I hope you live wonderful lives and have an amazing day,**

 **Dragon Courage**


	19. Ch 18

Chapter 18

The building is a tall, pristine, windowed modern piece of architecture. If Kaneki had not known that it was a CCG building, he would not have thought it any different from one of the city's many, many office sky-scrapers. Somehow, knowing what the people coming out of the building were- monster hunters, doves, predators of the predators- made the building look different. It made the steel, windowed tower look more severe somehow.

The people coming in or out of the building looked normal. Sure, they all wore their white dov-investigator coats, but despite the threat they should now represent to Kaneki, he couldn't bring himself to be afraid. They were just people. Like him, or Hide. Or his math teacher. Or maybe his math teacher wasn't human…. one never could be too sure when there is an alien in your midst.

Nervously, Kaneki clenched his fist, the crinkling of paper reminding him of the flyer in his hand. The flyer for the seminar-tour was printed on plain cardstock, the time and date stood out starkly in times new roman, black ink. Beside Kaneki, Hide grinned and winked.

"Well, are we going or not? The seminar starts in five minutes, we don't want to be late," said Hide.

Kaneki took a breath to steel his nerves and nodded. Together, they crossed the street and entered the doves' nest.

The lobby was well lit and open. To the side, Kaneki thought he could see a board with papers on it. He didn't focus on how they were mostly wanted/warning papers. Ahead of them, a receptionist desk sort of thing, somehow Kaneki was struck by how normal it all looked- even as his heart beat staccato in his chest-, with an average woman with her hair up in a slightly too tight bun.

Kaneki supposed it was easy for her to pick them out from the investigators, Hide and Kaneki were wearing their normal clothes- they were here as students looking for research after all- and it kind of stood out from the white coats of the investigators heading in and out of the CCG building. She smiled at them as they approached, dimples coloring her cheeks. Despite his nervousness, Kaneki couldn't help but to smile back.

"Hello, there," she said, "How may I help you?"

Hide, more confident than Kaneki, answered, "Hello, ma'am, we're here for the interest seminar. Is there a specific place we need to go?"

The receptionist beamed. "Actually, those interested in the seminar can wait in the side presentation room. It's past the RC gates, down the hall, and the first door on the left, hon. You shouldn't have to wait long, we don't expect many people to show up for these sort of things, it's more of a PR stunt than an actual seminar."

Kaneki smiled, anxiety temporarily soothed by the receptionist's bubbly attitude, and said, "Thank you very much, ma'am."

Together, Hide and Kaneki walked further into the lobby, towards a set of machines that looked passingly like metal detectors. Off to the side, Kaneki could see an investigator manning a desk with screens that he supposed were connected to the gates. Kaneki wondered briefly what kind of special metal detectors the CCG needed, seeing as their operatives carried weapons to and from the office, yet ghouls needed no outside force of malice. Kaneki's steps slowed, a sense of dread filling him.

He murmured to Hide, "RC Gates?"

Hide shrugged and murmured back, "It'll look weird if we stop now, just keep walking."

Kaneki obliged, but the dread and panic continued to rise in the back of his throat. To the side, he vaguely noticed a white haired investigator watching them with laser sharp focus. He supposed in a few more steps he would find out.

Kaneki took a subtle deep breath. And stepped through the gate. And stepped forward again. And nothing happened, despite the blood roaring in his ears.

Kaneki wanted to sigh in relief as he subtly glanced at the man at the screens. The man was drinking his coffee, reading a document, only occasionally glancing at the screens with no sign of alarm what so ever.

Kaneki risked a backwards glance at the gate confused. If the gate didn't detect ghouls, the only enemy of the CCG, then what did it detect. Come to think of it, could ghouls be detected? How were they detected? What made them so different?

As Kaneki turned to face forward, he caught a glimpse of the white haired investigator- now frowning pensively as the old man continued to watch them- and decided he needed to know the answers to those questions. He would have to ask them during the seminar and tour.

The room was just as the receptionist described and the bros took their seats quickly. There was a small seating area of comfortable chairs with an open space at the front of the room, likely for presentations. Kaneki off-handedly wondered if this was a room used for interviews or small press-conferences. There were only a few other people in the room, but Kaneki didn't pay them any mind, the receptionist had said that their tour/seminar group would be few in number.

Hide and Kaneki had made sure to arrive early, so they had a small amount of time to wait before a relatively young man in an investigator's white coat walked through the door. The man- at least compared to Kaneki and Hide's own petite teenage heights- was huge. He was built like an ox, all broad shoulders and sharp, muscled angles. Kaneki and Hide could admit they were a little intimidated.

The dark haired dove stood at the front of the room and cleared his voice. The residual chatter that hadn't already stopped immediately faded away to nothing.

"Good afternoon, " began the dove, "My name is Koutarou Amon, Rank 1 investigator. It is my honor to be your guide and speaker of this CCG interest seminar. Welcome to the CCG main office."

Amon smiled, but Kaneki felt like he must not do it often because it sat awkwardly on his face. Nobody around him seemed to notice.

Amon continued, "First, I'll give you a brief over view on what we do here at the CCG and what we protect civilians against. After that, I'll lead you on a tour through some of our basic offices and other components that help make up the CCG. To conclude, we'll have a small reception with refreshments set up, at which several retired veteran investigators have kindly volunteered to field any questions you may have. Do you have any questions?"

A hand rose at the back.

"Yes, you and the back," invited Amon.

A young man stood in the back. "How come you're here giving the tour, and not someone else? I was told that investigators can't be spared on something like this."

Amon nodded. "Ordinarily, you'd be right. However, at the moment my partner is waiting on some work to be done to his quinque- a weapon used to fight ghouls- and we've been temporarily been put on standby for a couple of days. My superiors, and I, agree that this would be a wonderful opportunity to give the seminar some input from a current investigator."

The young man sat back down, appeased.

Amon awkwardly smiled again and glanced around the room. "Any other questions?"

There were none.

* * *

 **AN: Hello! I'm back significantly sooner than I though I would be. May have something to do with the chemistry exam that I have tomorrow and instead of studying, I updated a chapter. Life choices. Although, this chapter is significantly shorter than most of my other ones. There is a reason for that. It ends before Amon's seminar. I don't want to write that at the end of this chapter. It really needs its own chapter because it will be massively important! I t will have all the fan-theory and fake-science that I have cobbled together so that the smoothie replacement work and this whole world makes sense. It will also have important information that Hide and Kaneki will use later to avoid the CCG and do some serious trolling later. Which will be awesome, we just aren't there yet.**

 **so, I hope ya'll live amazing, wonderful lives and have a great night:) go to bed early, watch your favorite show, treat yourself, say one uplifting thing to yourself every morning. You deserve to be kind to yourself.**

 **See you again when I update next whenever- as we've seen it could be next week or next year, there is no telling and often no in-between.**

 **Have an awesome, spectacular day,**

 **Dragon Courage**


	20. Ch 19

Ch 19

Kaneki settled into his seat more comfortably as the lights dimmed and a screen rolled down at the far side of the room. Near the ceiling, above him, he heard the soft hum of a projector flipping on.

Detective Amon stood to the side as an image of a snarling man appeared on screen. The man's pupils were a deep crimson and the eyes were pitch black around them. Kaneki restrained himself from fingering his eyepatch self-consciously. There was no point giving them any tells, even if the investigators would never suspect a ghoul wandering in and going on a tour. The concept sounded like a bad joke, to be honest. And the opening line would be, 'One human boy and a ghoul walk into a CCG building…' Hopefully, they wouldn't stay in the building long enough to find out the punch line.

Detective Amon gestured to the screen, he had one of those laser pointers that Hide's dog liked so much, and began speaking. "What you see before you is the enemy of mankind, our only true predator, a ghoul."

"That's a little rude," muttered Hide. Kaneki hushed him softly. His opinions would be a little bit…. out of place here.

Amon continued, oblivious, "A ghoul is an entirely different species from humans. Often times, the news or tabloids well refer to them as a subspecies of human or perhaps even as a form of vampire or undead. That is wrong. As I said before ghouls are an entirely different species, not related to humans, and not similar at all. I ask that any preconceptions you may have picked up outside this lecture, you forget them now. Ghouls are unlike anything you have ever encountered. They do not have emotions, they do not hold morals, and most of all, they cannot be reasoned with. They are not human."

Amon paused to ensure he had everyone's attention, before continuing. "Ghouls are a predator species of vertebrate animals. They are driven by instinct and the base need to survive- solely at the expense of their prey species, humans. They are our enemies. They walk in our streets, playing at being like us, waiting to take advantage of our unknowing ignorance or naivety and take all that we hold dear."

"Ghouls have a varied life span. Most ghouls do not die of natural causes, so as of yet, their exact average life span has not been determined. Ghouls kept for research purposes have lived up to 80 years in captivity, but this is in abnormal conditions compared to a wild ghoul, and even these ghouls do not die of natural causes."

Kaneki felt his blood turn to ice at the underlying concepts. No matter what, he thought, he would never be coming back to this building, filled with people who would, if given the choice, lock him in a room for 80 years and experiment on him. Beside Kaneki, Hide had gone still. Out of the corner of Kaneki's eyes, he could see Hide's cheeks turning a slight pink. Hide was frowning now, his eyes burning with anger. Apparently, he didn't agree with the doves either.

"That being said, the life cycle of a ghoul is similar to that of a human's. They bear live young, which they then raise until the young is old enough to hunt for itself. We believe adulthood- the ability to hunt alone semi successfully- is considered around 15 years of age. Infancy- the time when the young cannot walk or speak- for a ghoul is considered around 6 to 8 months, developing more quickly than most humans."

Now, arrows flowing in a circle, pointing to different diagrams of ghouls came on screen. It depicted an infant, child, teen, and adult in a circle. It reminded Kaneki of the tadpole life cycle illustrations in an elementary text book. Frankly, it made him uncomfortable.

Amon continued, oblivious. "Ghouls have several key differences in their physiology. The first is in their skin. Their skin contains special cells- absorbed up into the basal layer of the skin through the capillaries- called RC cells that when kertinized by keratinocytes become impervious to most damage. A ghoul also has a different digestive tract than humans. Unlike humans, who have five different senses of taste, caused by specific types of taste buds, ghouls have only two kinds of taste buds, one of which is not truly a taste bud. The first kind, the true taste bud, is specific to only ghouls."

" Instead of being sensitive and receptive to particles commonly found in human food- the way human taste buds are designed- they are receptive to RC cells and particles, which are found in copious amounts in human flesh. This signaling is perceived as the taste of umami, or meat. It can also taste slightly sweet to a ghoul. The second taste bud cell, as mentioned, is not truly a taste bud at all, but rather a modified pressure sensor. Upon a foreign particle entering the ghoul's mouth, the second cell releases signaling to the brain to stimulate a distressing taste. Studies show that the specific taste varies from ghoul to ghoul and particle to particle, not necessarily having a pattern. This response occurs upon the presence of any kind of food within the mouth. The only reason that the ghoul can feed at all is because when the first true cell is stimulated by the RC cells and particles, it activates a neurotransmitter that inhibits the reaction of the second taste bud variant."

Kaneki doesn't see the slide that comes on screen next, he's too busy scribbling furiously to look up. All this information was a gold mine. It would have taken weeks and weeks of witness accounts, conspiracy theories, massive textbooks and more to find out what was so neatly summed up in just a few paragraphs. Why was this information so difficult for the public to peruse? Literally, the only way to find any concrete, proven information was to take it from the hands of the CCG.

Hide is also writing down notes as the investigator continues speaking. "While this is the initial cause for ghoul diet, it is not the only part of a ghoul's digestive system that is simply incompatible with a human diet. Ghouls often ingest human cuisine as a means of camouflage, however, even once the food is swallowed, it is not digested. When a ghoul ingests a meal which is composed of RC cells, the stimulated taste bud in the tongue also stimulates a parasympathetic response, signaling the stomach to release the enzymes needed to digest the food. However, when eating human food, the first true taste bud is not activated, therefore, the digesting enzymes are not released into the lumen of the stomach. The food therefore cannot be digested and the ghoul eventually voids it within a few hours."

That was why Kaneki could no longer eat hamburgers. He must have lost his human taste receptor cells. He wondered, vaguely, if there was anyway he could get them back one day. It was a nice thought as he continued to take notes.

Amon switched the slide again, revealing a figure of the back of a torso, several different areas highlighted red. Along each area, a name was printed. Amon gestured to the top area. "This," he said, "is a ghoul's kagune. It is their weapon which they use to hunt and defend themselves. It is lethal and made of the strongest substance known to man- activated RC cells. The weapon is versatile and usually highly mobile, able to pierce anything and unbreakable except to another kagune."

"There are four different types of kagune, determined by the placement of the kakuhou- the organ that processes the nutrients harvested by the stomach and forms additional RC cells, as well as storing the RC cells not in use of circulating the body."

Across the room, Hide could hear other pens or pencils scribbling out the information. He supposed that the CCG didn't give out this much information often.

"The first type of kagune is the ukaku, where the kakuhou is stationed in the upper back, near the top of the shoulders. In this type of kagune, the weapon generally takes a feathery appearance and increases the user's speed greatly. However, as a counter to that, while this ghoul has the ability to whip out attacks very aggressively and quick, they lack in stamina- not being able to keep up the swift pace from the beginning of the battle."

Hide made a note besides his notes- haha- about whether Kaneki could be an ukaku type. It would be cool if he grew kagune that looked like wings- then he could tease his little brother about how he was an extra from the manga Hide had been reading, DNAngel.

"Their common attack is sending high speed projectiles hurtling through the air towards their victims by crystallizing their RC cells. During this condition, the kagune is stiff and unsuited for short range combat. Due to this weakness, the technique for subduing this type of ghoul is to stall and evade in order to outlast them or, if that is not an option, to swiftly move from distanced combat to close combat, catching the ghoul off guard with their kagune still in a crystallized state."

"The second kind of kagune is a koukaku. It emerges from beneath the shoulder blades. It is a heavy kagune with a higher density of RC cells. Typically, they appear shaped as heavy shields or melee wee weapons acting as a third arm. This kagune specializes in an impenetrable defense. However, due to the massive weight of the kagune, this ghoul is the slowest type and the least agile."

It would make sense if Kaneki was a koukaku type… he was such a scaredy book worm. He would probably love to hide behind a shield the whole time.

"Techniques for dealing with this ghoul are to outmaneuver it and surround it, attacking it from weak, unguarded areas. This ghoul, due to its high defense has a natural advantage against the previously mentioned ukaku type. It can defend against the long range attacks of the ukaku and move in close when the ukaku exhausts itself."

"The third species of kagune is the rinkaku. It has a scaly appearance, forming from the waist area in signature tentacle-like limbs. The amount of tentacles seems to vary from ghoul to ghoul. Another notable trait of this kind of ghoul is a significantly higher than normal regenerative ability, granting many rinkaku ghouls much shorter recovery periods from injuries, turning the mending of days into mere hours or less. Kagune of this type grant the ghoul wielding it overwhelming and adaptive attack power."

Hide glance over at Kaneki when he noticed that his pencil had stopped moving. His bud had gone pale and was staring at the image projected up front. Hide glanced up, to see that detective Amon had long moved on to new images. Now, it showed the blurry form of a bipedal shape, long dark limbs protruding from it's mid back, Hide could see four of them, but there may have been more hidden in the blurry image.

"The limbs of the kagune are extremely versatile, easily the most agile of the other ghoul weapons. This is because the RC cells bond to one another like water, with a looser bond than in any other type of kagune. However, like water, the bonds can be disrupted if enough pressure is applied, making the rinkaku kagune the least durable of all the ghoul types."

Hide tapped his pencil on his notepad, worrying his lip as he kept sneaking glances at his little brother. This was unlike him. Kaneki always took good notes… was something wrong?

" If the ukaku specializes in speed, the koukaku in defense, then the rinkaku's power lies in it's ability to attack relentlessly with great force. Techniques for engaging this kind of ghoul are varied, generally decided on a case to case basis. One popular method is firing quinque steel bullets from long range into the base of the rinkaku's tentacle like kagune, breaking them off. Then, before the ghoul can regenerate, a S.W.A.T. team moves in to terminate the ghoul. This type of ghoul has an advantage against the much slower koukaku, able to power through their defense and strike them quickly."

Hide had been ready to start poking Kaneki, very annoyingly- as was his elder bro duty- when Kaneki seemed to snap out of whatever twilight zone he went to and continued writing.

"The last type of ghoul has what is called a bikaku kagune. This kagune forms most often as a tail, generally trailing down the ghoul's leg. This is the balance type ghoul. It is the perfect mix of all three kagune types, retaining average speed, defense, and attack power. This enables it to go toe to toe with the rinkaku type and using its speed and greater durability, break the kagune of a rinkaku ghoul. However, due to it's average stats, the superior speed of the ukaku ghoul can overwhelm the bikaku or the ukaku can attack the middle ranged bikaku from afar, taking it out. To deal with bikaku ghouls, soldiers work in strike units, quickly swapping out after attacking, to imitate the overwhelmingly swift attack style of the the ukaku."

Hide turned a page as he finished a section of notes. Well, that was interesting. Would figuring out which kagune Kaneki has, be like taking one of those sketchy online personality quizzes? Cool.

Detective Amon cleared his throat as he flipped forward to a new image on the projector.

"Moving on to more subtle differences between ghouls and humans, how Ghouls are able to perform all these functions. They possess an over abundance of something called an RC cell. RC cells are specialized cells called the Red Child Cell. They are specific to humans and ghouls only. Humans produce RC cells naturally as part of the immune system, they are leukocytes that only mature in the Thymus- which as humans grow older and the Thymus gland turns to fat, explains why the elderly or humans with defects in the thymus have a naturally lower amount of RC cells. RC cells in ghouls are produced in the liver and the red bone marrow, much like erythrocytes. Unlike in humans, the RC cells- while they can serve as immune cells to some degree- in ghouls are produced from the liver and red bone marrow fully mature and function closer to red blood cells."

"RC cells in ghouls are also 'activated.' In humans, RC cells are inhibited by CD39, the enzyme that is naturally secreted by endothelial cells of blood vessels to prevent unnecessary clotting. In Ghouls, which have a different form of clot inhibition, there is no such barrier. RC cells when activated are very versatile. Their mitochondria are massive and structured differently, allowing them to produce twice the amount of ATP on half the glucose molecule that humans do."

Kaneki felt his eyebrows rise. That was a lot of energy. He wondered where the key difference was. It must have something to do with the electron transport chain. He didn't think glycolysis or the krebs cycle could be changed that much and still be a viable function.

The investigator seemed to be finishing with his lecture as the screen was flipped to the CCG's logo.

"… and all this is what makes ghouls the greatest threat to mankind that we have ever faced. Any questions?"

Kaneki lowered his head, finishing up his notes. He heard a few people ask questions and offhandedly jotted down the answers when he heard Hide shift beside him. Hide had raised his hand.

Detective Amon smiled as he called on Hide, only to frown in bemusement when he heard Hide's question.

"What are they like?" Amon parroted, not sure what the college student was asking.

"Yeah," continued Hide. "You've been droning on and on about what they are and how they work, but you haven't actually said anything about them. What do they do? Do thye raise families? Can they get jobs?"

"These are predators we're talking about, young man. Not your run of the mill, 9 to 5, evening train home pedestrian. These ghouls are actively searching for their next victim. I doubt much more than survival crosses their mind. Next question?"

Beside Kaneki, Hide scribbled something down and frowned, glaring into his paper.


End file.
